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Threads 276 to 300

Note to everyone
Posted by Alana on Tue Oct 23 00:56:04 2001 (#953)

If you feel pain when you kill yourself, what makes you so sure that you won't have that pain when you're gone? The thing about living with pain is that you have a good chance of making it a bit better, and resolving the problem. Once you're dead, you're dead...and there's no fuckin turning back.

I'll see you all on the other side.

Love, ME ME ME ME

PS Sorry, I'm in a pissy ass mood today.

Re: Note to everyone
Posted by Doris on Tue Oct 23 05:32:30 2001 (#958)

Alana,

What's wrong? You post.. but you don't tell us what's new in your life. What is making you so sad? You don't have to tell us, of course, I just worry about you. Please stay strong.

Love always, hun

Doris

survive
Posted by Doris on Tue Oct 23 05:37:27 2001 (#959)

Hi everyone,

You guys may think this is very lame, and you have every right. :) I just wanted to start this message and have everyone who posts here, even new people - everyone, to reply and repeat the message. I just think it's very important to say it to yourself. I will start it.

I am a survivor.

Pass it on....

Love and strength,

Doris

What if?
Posted by becky on Tue Oct 23 23:51:44 2001 (#963)

What if you don't want to be a survivor?

Re: What if?
Posted by Alana on Wed Oct 24 00:52:38 2001 (#964)

simple...don't be a survivor.

Re: survive
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 24 04:41:28 2001 (#965)

I AM!! a *freaking* survivor...damnit!
:) love you kids

I'm trying to change
Posted by Alana on Tue Oct 23 05:56:41 2001 (#961)

I'm trying my hardest to change, which is why I might be in a pissy mood. Its so hard to change the person you've become so use to being. But who I am right now, really isn't me. I use to be so cute, sweet and funny. Now I'm just this druggie who can barely keep her eyes open, and who smokes like a chimney. I've lost myself. I hated who i was so much, that I changed myself completely. Now that I'm who I thought I should be, I've realized how much I loved who i was. Here's the problem - what if I can't get back to the old Alana. What if she's gone forever? What if I can't ever be that girl again? What if I can't ever stop doing drugs? What if I'm not strong enough? What if I'm gone?

What if....

I've been done here before, lost myself and so much more.

I'm so scared of myself.

please somebody change me into what I use to be. PLEASE! I need help right now.

Love, Alana #2 (I've killed Alana #1, she's no longer with us)

Re: I'm trying to change
Posted by Doris on Tue Oct 23 19:15:22 2001 (#962)

Alana,

I wish I could just snap my fingers and you could go back to who you were. Sometimes I was my old self again. But I see that old self every now and again and I realize that that's not who I want to be. If you could go back to your old self, would you be happy? Or would you still just be looking for something more? I don't know. All I know is that you ARE a very strong person and that whatever it is that is making you so sad (drugs, etc.) you CAN overcome it.

If you've changed once, you can do it again. Maybe not to your old self, but to someone better. Honey, I know you can change. And I know you can stop the drugs if you really want to stop them. I don't know if you want to hear this or not, but I would say that you should just pray. Free yourself from whatever is keeping you from changing. Pray for release.

Love and strength and dancing in the rain,

Doris

Re: I'm trying to change
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 24 04:44:44 2001 (#966)

sorry Alana I know this is off the subject but where do you happen to live? Im just curious, you dont have to tell me or you can e-mail it to me bc you sound just like a young girl I know. Im sure "Alana #1" is far more then ready to come back, Im sure you can change, everyone can. we all change even when we dont mean to its just natural throughout time. Love Kat

Re: I'm trying to change
Posted by Alana on Wed Oct 24 05:39:54 2001 (#967)

Geezzz, I hope you don't know me. Thats freaky. You know all my fecked up thoughts then. I'm 17 and I live in Toronto, Ontario.

What about you?

Re: I'm trying to change
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 24 23:58:39 2001 (#969)

I'm 16 and Live in Dallas Texas. heh...yeah if someone were to get in my head theyd probably shoot themself on the spot. Tough break huh? take care Alana

I'm not ready
Posted by Alana on Wed Oct 24 05:42:32 2001 (#968)

"I don't think I'm ready yet, don't think I'm steady yet" - Eels I just liked the sound of that. That keeps going through my head. Maybe I'm not ready.

I had a thought. We have two hands right? Well most of us, god bless those who don't, but anyways, one hand is to help ourselves, and the other is to help others.

HELPING HANDS - YES I KNOW I'M GAY - YOU DON'T HAVE TO LAUGH! Ok, laugh all you want. Cuz I am.

Love, Alana

helping hands... I love this story
Posted by Doris on Thu Oct 25 20:58:02 2001 (#972)

Hey Alana,

Something you said about hands and helping people reminded me of a story I heard in Religion class.

This angel comes down from Heaven and tells this man that he will show him Heaven and Hell. The angel takes him to this dining room with a HUGE long table with hundreds of people on each side. All the people have a bowl of soup in front of them. The problem is, their spoons to eat the soup with are all 3 feet long. They can't get the soup into their mouths so they get horribly frustrated. They get so mad that they start swinging around the spoons and people are getting hit with them and cut into pieces. There is blood and guts everywhere. This was Hell.

Then, the angel took him to another dining room with the same set up - hundreds of people on each side, soup in front of them, 3-foot-long spoons. The difference here is that they had figured out the secret. The secret was to feed the person across the table from you. Everyone was fed and happy and peaceful. This was Heaven.

It may not have anything to do with anything, I just really like that story. Stay strong, hun. Love you tons.

Doris

barney song
Posted by becky on Thu Oct 25 05:27:31 2001 (#970)

I hate you. You hate me. Together we can kill becky with a great big gun put it to her head pull the trigger and becky's dead.....lol sorry I get much humor out of that, but others don't seem to agree with me. OH well who cares about them...

Re: :(
Posted by KAT on Fri Oct 26 00:21:13 2001 (#976)

No humor in that although I can see the lighter side it MIGHT bring to a situation..maybe AW BECKY!!! dont sing that, we LOVE YOU! -hugs*KAT

Obviously
Posted by becky on Thu Oct 25 05:39:39 2001 (#971)

Obviously I haven't committed sucide yet cause I'm writing on here. But AHHHHHHHHHHHH I just want to scream and so beat the crap out of some stranger. No wait better yet I'll go out and get in a fight with a big group of people and they can beat the crap out of me and then maybe I'll die on the side of the road from lost of blood. That'll be good since I can't cause enough pain to punish myself then I'll just get someone else to do it. Sorry to share my demented thinking, but oh well!!

becky
Posted by Doris on Thu Oct 25 21:04:54 2001 (#973)

Hi becky,

I just wanted to say a few things. I didn't want to be a survivor either when I was in a rough spot. What got me through it were my family, my friends, and my poetry. I used poetry as a way of unleasing my depression and anger rather than cutting and suicide. I think maybe you should try another outlet for all your emotions. Maybe drawing, painting, writing, anything.

I'm just curious - have you been diagnosed with depression? Have you seen a counselor or therapist? Are you on medication? If you don't want to tell me, I completely understand. It's just that, in my case, a combination of therapy, medication, and love and support got me through my hard suicidal times.

You are my friend and I love you. Take care.

Doris

PS - I read on the SI board that you're from Philly? I used to go to school in Philly, at Drexel University. Where do you live in Philly?

Re: becky
Posted by becky on Thu Oct 25 22:07:32 2001 (#975)

No I've never been diagnosed with depression, but that's probably because I've never been to a therapist or anyone like that. And no I'm not on meds either... Realy I've never gone to like a counselor before. I'm usually a more to-my-self kind of person... Only recently have I ever even wanted to talk to someone at all. I don't think I'm ready for a stupid counselor person anyway... I have a very low opinion of them... I would go into it, but that will take a while. Oh yeah so your family, friends and poerty got you through tough times.... well that's good and all but I hate my family,I pushed all my friends away, and I'm not much of a writer... Of course those are all my fault though so oh well. And not to be mean or rude at all, but I'm not your friend or anyone elses because I don't deserve it. Becky

Doris
Posted by Becky on Fri Oct 26 01:14:05 2001 (#977)

I forgot some things... Umm.. well another reason for me not going to a counselor (besides hating them) is that my parents would never approve. They don't even know I'm like this so why in the world would they pay for some stupid idiot to tell me something is wrong with me. (that's a big duh anyway) The major reason I'm not on meds is also because my parents don't approve. They say that it's a heart problem and you just need to get right with God. Anyway so I don't know. Oh yeah and I don't actaully live in Philly, but I live in the suburbs. I use to live in the Onley section of philly if you know where that is. Oh well I better go. Becky

Heather?
Posted by Doris on Thu Oct 25 21:07:06 2001 (#974)

Heather? Where are you, hun? Where ya been? I'm really curious how you're doing. Please post if you read this. Love you, hun!

Doris

I'm dying
Posted by Becky on Fri Oct 26 01:46:01 2001 (#978)

I'm not me anymore. I don't feel anything. It would be better if I was sad, mad, angry, bitter, depressed, lonely, anything!!!!!! I just want to feel some kind of emotion to make me feel real again. It's almost as if I'm fake. It's like I'm indifferent toward my whole pitiful life. I'm stagent. I can't move forward or backwards. My soul, my being has died, but my body is still alive. AHHHHHHHH HELP ME PLEASE SOMEONE! I've never wanted help before, but I can't keep living like this. If I don't feel anything, then what's the point on living. I don't know how much more I can go on like this. I need some kind of hope. Someone give me hope even if it's a lie. I need something to believe in. Something that makes life worth living, but I can't find it within myself. Please someone help me... (sigh) Becky

Re: You'r living!
Posted by KAT on Fri Oct 26 04:49:43 2001 (#980)

Becky, guess what! I dont know if this is true for all of us (I hope it is ) but right before I totally broke down and then started actually getting better and smiling and being happy.I was totally and udderly apathetic towards everything, I had NO emotions whatsoever, like you say you do. It was a bad time, yeah I can admit that and Im not gonna lie it was a really tough time, alot of things were wieghed out why should I live why should I not, ultimatly I am here now, and Im sure you can make it through all this shit!! Dont let illness bring you down, depression is just an illness, it just effects us in a different ways then an illness like cancer or what have you.Becky hang in there, you seem like you have the will power to keep things going strong, remember when your down all you can go from there is up!If your not on some medications please please please woman go get some!! dont be shy or embarrased, medications are wonderful. Thats why they are there for people like us. they arent miracles but they can be a temporary long term soultion while you get back up and get things together. take care and be safe Love KAT

Re: you are not dead but dying...
Posted by better shoot myself on Sat Oct 27 23:27:00 2001 (#989)

that's what i'm feeling like. i feel like this for over 50days. non-stop-i couldn't take a break from it. it's like being all too dead. but sometimes there's pain. and sometimes i'm afraid... panic attacks are the only events that make me feel alive.

i wish it would be better for you....since when do you feel this way, darling?

It's been a long time
Posted by Julie on Fri Oct 26 03:20:17 2001 (#979)

It's been a long time since I was last here at this site. I thought that if I tried real hard to avoid self injury and suicide I would soon stop feeling this way. It hasn't worked so I'm back. Depression is sweeping over me, I feel more lonely than ever before. I think the end is coming. I've been stocking up on meds and I think I want to take them all. Things have been horrible. I just got kicked out of school, they said i wasn't attending enough. My best friend is moving to Ontario. I feel like I'm losing everything around me.

Re: It's been a long time
Posted by lexy on Sat Oct 27 02:51:16 2001 (#982)

things like that happen. just dont go. you will be ok you will find somebody. you can go see your bestfriend if you hav eyour L and maybe live with her. remember its your life you can do anything you want with it but not ending it. so please dont go. just keep going, you'll make it :)

enough, it's too much
Posted by jes on Sat Oct 27 03:31:51 2001 (#983)

if i can't trust someone i've known for 10/11 years, then who the fuck can i trust? I mean that's like 3/4 of my life i've known this person. (if u don't know what it is i'm talking about then u can read 'why i hate him' an the SI board. i can't write it out again, it upset me too much). Maybe I'm over-reacting, they say it's never as bad as it seems. And I know other ppl have been thru worse, but i don't know if i can stand this, i haven't been cutting that much recently, I have afeeling this won't help. it's all fucked up. i hate myself that bit more, i hate someone i've never hated b4. and i want to die. i give in. if this is some kind of sick joke then ha-ha, very funny. but i have tried to stop being like this and i dunno, maybe it was working, but this is just one more thing to prove to me that's i'm fighting a losing battle. so i give in. i give in trying. i give in caring. i give in wondering when i'm gonna die, b/c i already am. hugs, kisses and hopes for ur future. love jo (jes) xxx

it's over
Posted by Alana on Sat Oct 27 05:24:22 2001 (#984)

Yes, it's over. I'm tired of hiding.

I'm leaving for good. Not just from the board. From life. Too hard.

Love, Alana

Re:
Posted by KAT on Sat Oct 27 21:33:58 2001 (#986)

Alana..take care of yourself no matter where the wind takes you in the future. Please return to the board when you are feeling better,PLEASE LOVE ALWAYS JESSICA (KAT)

Re: it's over
Posted by dave(id) on Mon Oct 29 04:03:18 2001 (#998)

you had a time recently when things seemed to be ok for you - times like that will keep coming back - please be ok

wish I could say something useful but drunkas usual & absolutely shattered - hang inxx

love

xxxx

Tears of pain and Joy mix and I know it'll be okay
Posted by KAT on Sat Oct 27 14:35:59 2001 (#985)

May god(no matter what you believe in) rest all your souls When our time is up and we can not be here any longer, may God take our hand and lead us to heaven and keep us in Earths heart forever. May he ease the pain of the loved ones behind and settle us down for the last time, and when we finally arrive to our destiny may he guide us above so we can always be free. Love Hope (Many tears) Encouragement and strenghth....Jessica

pray your life was just a bad bad dream...
Posted by better shoot myself on Sat Oct 27 23:11:10 2001 (#987)

it's okay if you ignore me. it really is. i wouldn't think too much about it. many people have problems which are more severe than mine. i haven't cut for a very long time. i'm sure it's nearly three weeks now, but, to be honest, it feels like a year. it feels long. it feels bitter. my problem is... hmmm... i mean... many people set days when they plan to kill themselves, they can still choose if they actually want to kill themselves then. desperate people do such things. i always said i wouldn't do that. i said that i would feel it that day. but.. i have chosen my day now. the problem with it is that i don't know why i should wait. it just feels so totally wrong. i tell myself that i want to give my life a chance. but that's not true. does it make sense to wait a year and then think about how meaningless my life is and kill myself? can i wait a year? can i wait a whole year can i take a year, one more, one fucking long more year, which itself is totally senseless???

that's totally idiotic. i don't know if i can do that. i don't feel like waiting for a year... i have chosen the 27th of october 2002. randomly. it doesn't have a special meaning itself. so i could do it just in a week....

i'm not bound here anymore.

practical question: will it take more than 10 min till the blood is out?

pray that i would shut up.
Posted by better shoot myself on Sat Oct 27 23:17:28 2001 (#988)

forget the last thing i said. i'm a big fuck.

I want it over, I want it dead
Posted by Alana on Sun Oct 28 05:46:39 2001 (#990)

Its not that I want to die, its just that I was that deep intense depression that lives inside of me to die. I've tried many things to kill it, but it just keeps on coming back. So the only solution to my pain is to end it physically. Die.

Cutting just doesn't cut it anymore (no pun intended) it only works for so long, and then even that turns its back on you.

My advice to the world - laugh and trust nobody.

Love, Alana

Re: I want it over, I want it dead
Posted by better shoot myself on Sun Oct 28 18:55:17 2001 (#993)

trust nobody...

that doesn't sound like a depression but like being sad that someone had hurt you.

Re: I want it over, I want it dead
Posted by Alana on Sun Oct 28 20:37:30 2001 (#994)

It's both. Depression and hurt. I've been depressed for 4 years now.....it was last year that I decided not to trust anybody...cuz they hurt me, in other words I let them hurt me by showing them everything I was. I hate everything I am.

So yes, its both. Thank you for the observation.

Love, Alana

to alana..
Posted by better shoot myself on Tue Oct 30 00:00:07 2001 (#1005)

hi alana...

so it's both? that's even more bad, hon. have it been "friends" or lover? it's hard to trust someone anyway and to get hurt by being so honest to someone is something unspeakable.. i wish you wouldn't ache that way.... are you in therapy?

Re: to alana..
Posted by Alana on Wed Oct 31 06:43:54 2001 (#1010)

A guy broke my heart...no no, soul.

Not in therapy anymore, the guy asked me to stop coming because I lack in cooperation.

OWELL!

Love, Alana

Re: to alana..
Posted by better shoot myself on Thu Nov 8 13:29:51 2001 (#1030)

what a shithead. you really don't need to care about such people, do you, hon???!

*hug*

Re: I want it over, I want it dead
Posted by to better shoot myself on Sun Oct 28 23:23:05 2001 (#995)

Im wondering are you new here or a person who decided to take a new name? -KAT

Re: TO BETTER SHOOT MYSELF
Posted by KAT on Sun Oct 28 23:42:57 2001 (#996)

oops I accidently type it in wrong in the post above in the name slot. but my question stands solid.
:)

Re: TO BETTER SHOOT MYSELF
Posted by better shoot myself on Mon Oct 29 23:56:16 2001 (#1004)

i'm new here. i was here before, i'm reading in here sometimes and just think that i'm a fucking coward and i love what you write and i know how you feel but i was too shy to write. as i wrote i was at the end, or better, i thought i was. i'm still alive, more or less. but to answer your question, yes, i'm new, so HI!
:)

Re: TO BETTER SHOOT MYSELF
Posted by KAT on Tue Oct 30 01:31:12 2001 (#1006)

well welcome! Im glad you've found a spot to dump your feelings, its a good start I think. Im extremly happy that your still alive, thats a great accomplishment, keep it up sweet pie, hang in there. anyetime you need to talk or just wanna scream go ahead and leave your problems here dont be afraid. and e-mai lme anytime, day or night Ill respond. take care -KAT

Re: TO KAT
Posted by better shoot myself on Thu Nov 8 13:33:19 2001 (#1031)

oh, you're too sweet. i will surely come here from time to time, when the hangovers get worse or something. i mean, the crap is inside of me all the time :) and you stay beautiful as well, yes??? *hug*

Im bored
Posted by KAT on Sun Oct 28 05:54:35 2001 (#991)

Im feeling reallly shitty.....the worst Ive felt in months. Im scared....the night is young and my intentions arent good. My willpower over my heart is dangerous. I am afraid of myself, I dont want to kill myself but Im afraid I have too...

Re: Im bored
Posted by jes on Mon Oct 29 00:40:53 2001 (#997)

no u don't hun, you are strong. plz b careful. love jes xx

**
Posted by thisbe on Mon Oct 29 20:00:49 2001 (#999)

im soooooo pathetic...never had a reason to kill myself,always wanted to..now someone dumps me and i cant go on without him.. i hate myself.how can a man be so important in my life???fuck them all

Re: First of all...
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:43:46 2001 (#1001)

First of all, I know what your going through. After the man I was head over heels in love w/ dumped me for a best friend I went wacko, I totally was ready to die. But Im stll here and now that I look back on it , he wasnt but shit anyways. Please dont ruin your life b/c of someone elses actions. Im very sorry you are feeling upset over this, and maybe youll calm down. remember time heelas all things, thats extremly true. Tough it out, love ya much KAT

Re: First of all...
Posted by thisbe on Mon Oct 29 22:55:42 2001 (#1003)

but we were totally born for each other.then i did something stupid and now i lost him. i still hope that he still loves me. i really cant live without him.he helped me sooo much.really.he's so perfect. pff love is to difficult for me i think.

thank for the reply

Re: First of all...
Posted by KAT on Tue Oct 30 01:37:14 2001 (#1007)

well whatever happens in the end, I hope it all works out. Good luck

I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by Doris on Mon Oct 29 21:19:35 2001 (#1000)

I never wanted to be a quitter, but I think I have to quit.

I have tried to respond to every post here with love and strength. I have tried to make people feel loved and not alone. I have posted hundreds of messages here, and I don't think one has made a difference. I keep on thinking - "I can't give up, what if my next post saves a life." I know now that will never happen. I'm not a saint, I'm no angel. I can't save anybody. Alana says we have two hands - one to help ourselves and one to help others. I've been living with two hands helping other people and, seeing that I am helping no one, I can not go on. I think it's time that I faced reality and the fact that I don't make a difference. I never wanted to make a difference, I just wanted to make everyone feel loved. I can't go on thinking that I have failed everyone on this board, it exhausts me. So, I'm just going to go on.

I think it's pretty clear that I'm not needed here... and maybe not even wanted. To those with whom I have built a friendship or those who just want to talk, please email me. There will always be a place in my heart for everyone on this board. And, while trying to comfort you has done little good, I will pray for you every night.

Just know, everyone, that you are loved. You are not alone. It's because I feel more alone than ever before that I have to leave. I can't be the only one that cares about you - you have to care about yourself. Please believe that I love you all with all my heart. I may come back, I may not.

I'm sorry that I thought I could help you, only you can help you. With love and strength, and enduring hope, I take my leave.

God Bless

Doris

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:49:09 2001 (#1002)

Doris I know how you feel. I left the board a while ago b/c it was just to triggering for me at the time of my recovery however due to shitty circumstances Im back here. This board has helped and I will honestly tell you, that you have made me feele loved and good about myself on those nights way back when , when I was near ending my life. one person cant change everyone but one person can help. I appreciate all the effort and time and everything youve put into all of this. I hope you will return to see how things are going or to tell us how you are doing. It might seem like everyone is self involved and doesnt have the time to think about anyone else but their problems but thats not true in my case. I may not respond or ask but I caqre and if it makes you feel better to leave the board for a while then by all means please make yourself feel alright. I just didnt want you to leave on the thought that you helped no one here and Im sure youve helped more people then just me. and if not well one is a complete accomplisghment in itself and I thank you wi8th all my heart take care of yourself, your a strong lady with lots of love..keep it that way. God bless ya love -KAT

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by bARBARA on Tue Oct 30 19:19:50 2001 (#1008)

Doris. I don't know much, but I know this. You did make a difference. To me.

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by Shawna on Wed Oct 31 01:13:01 2001 (#1009)

DORIS! No dont think that! you've always helped me! ALWAYS and you've never let me down once. Maybe not a KNOWN saint, but a saint in the eyes of those you help. Please dont ever think you cant help anyone because you do. you do you do you do. if you hafta, my email is Guajalotes13@aol.com... ok bye take care! ~*~Shawna~*~

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by Doris on Fri Nov 2 19:05:15 2001 (#1017)

Thanks, guys. I love you. Good bye.

Love and strength,

Doris

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by Shawna on Sun Nov 4 15:37:49 2001 (#1020)

DONT LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!! I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE!

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by DyingtoDie on Mon Nov 5 19:30:23 2001 (#1024)

All wasn't a waste. I'm alive because of this board and the people that are on it... I post and poeple who care responded. Please don't go and tell me I was a waste of your time... You are special just please don't go. Michelle (ps you know me under a different name, but that has to be a secert for now.)

Re: I don't think I can do it anymore
Posted by Doris on Wed Nov 7 05:32:19 2001 (#1029)

Please don't EVER think that you were a waste of my time!!! That is so not what I meant. Please don't think that, it hurts me. It's just that I feel like I have to get on with my life. I am no longer suicidal, but sometimes when I read what some people say I long for it as much as they do. And that is not good... not for me. I have a wonderful fiance whom I have to be strong for. I am so sorry if you think I'm giving up on you, I'm not!!! PLEASE (and I mean this with all my heart) EMAIL ME!!! I will listen to all you have to say, I just have to move on from this board. Please please email me... anyone. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. This is not a goodbye... just a see you later. I won't be visiting the board anymore... but please don't lose touch.

Love and strength,

Doris

hi
Posted by Em on Wed Oct 31 15:54:07 2001 (#1011)

I like to cut myself too!!!

It's fun

Re: hi
Posted by KAT on Fri Nov 2 00:34:16 2001 (#1015)

fun is what we make of it. Sadness shines through when sorrow is all we feel. take care and ....I hope your alright love KAT

Re: hi
Posted by Emz on Sat Nov 24 16:59:42 2001 (#1053)

pathetic, attention seeking, and shallow, one day you may learn true pain, and you will realise that it is not fun, it is anger, depression, and lonliness all building up inside.. longing to get out.. one day you will learn, until then.. do not persist to talk about your "fun" in here.. it is not a "fun" place.. people who face true pain do not cut themselves for "fun".. grow up

HELP HIM PLZ
Posted by my names laura but its 4 my m8 on Thu Nov 1 17:40:39 2001 (#1014)

hiya all, This is laura and im writing in here for some help and support for my m8 steeper hes had a rough last year, so he treid to jump and comit suicide and i really feel he wudnt do it.he seems to think every1 is betta off witout him and that ppls lives wud b betta witout him! but this is wrong hes got it all wrong and i really wud appreciate it if all ppl who read this wud email steeper and talk to him lots of hugs and jellybeans laura

Re: HELP HIM PLZ
Posted by ...VäMpyRë§s... on Mon Nov 26 18:21:40 2001 (#1066)

you talk to him, he'd prefer it from a friend...VäMpyRë§s

so what r u waiting for?
Posted by Joey on Fri Nov 2 20:38:38 2001 (#1018)

just let someone help you. I was you, but i got help. And i love waking up. Remember that?

Re: so what r u waiting for?
Posted by googoobaa on Mon Nov 26 21:47:59 2001 (#1067)

shhhh

wake up... life is beautiful
Posted by Joey on Sun Nov 4 13:22:58 2001 (#1019)

Lets face it... who really wants to be one of those cases on Ricki Lake? I used to be one of you but i got help. And now i love waking up next to my fiance in the morning. Remember that feeling?

Re: wake up... life is beautiful
Posted by Shawna on Sun Nov 4 15:42:11 2001 (#1021)

No not really.... In fact, life sucks. Why bother being happy when you can indulge in self injury and that wonderful release of blood from your system......

Re: wake up... life is beautiful
Posted by ~~~ on Sun Nov 4 15:49:22 2001 (#1022)

Remember that feeling?! What if you've never felt it? What if you don't have anyone you can trust and love? What if you don't have someone to wake up next to?

Butterfly.

you are asleep
Posted by Joey on Mon Nov 5 20:19:07 2001 (#1025)

If you've never felt it... Its time to live. If you have no- one to wake up to, find them. They won't come to you honey. Life does suck, but why let it get to you? Given the choice, would you really prefer slitting your wrists to thinkinking about how lucky you really are? Look around you, as long as you aren't in Afghanistan, te world really is beautiful. I'll always be here.... if anyone needs to moan at someone.

no.. you wake up
Posted by ...VäMpyRë§s... on Mon Nov 26 04:34:26 2001 (#1061)

beautiful??.. its not beautiful.. it is ugly, a mess, destroyed by the human race, polluted, toxic, dirty... this world is a MESS. You need to wake up and stop bragging about you all so fucking perfect life. and Butterfly is right.. what if you have no one to wake up beside?.. what if you have no one to who truely cares?.. what if you have no one to trust?..what if every lover that you have trusted has let you down?.. humiliated you? made you feel like complete shit?.. made a mockery of you behind your back? lied, cheated, claimed false love? this is my light, this fucking internet cyber shrink... this is my escape... VäMpyRë§s

Why?
Posted by DyingtoDie on Mon Nov 5 03:44:22 2001 (#1023)

I need answers, but no one has any... I need love, but no one will offer... I need parents, but no one is willing... I'm just so depressed. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live... Suicide is the only solutions... So much pain... I just want it all to go away...

Re: Why?
Posted by KAT on Mon Nov 5 23:47:09 2001 (#1026)

Suicide will cause even more pain and suffering in this world. Please be careful.. I love you... always-KAT

Re: Why?
Posted by DyingtoDie on Tue Nov 6 22:24:29 2001 (#1027)

thanks KAT. I don't agree with you, but thanks anyway... Michelle

Re: Why?
Posted by KAT on Wed Nov 7 00:22:58 2001 (#1028)

if we all agreed on everything, then I would have killed myself long ago love ya much huney, be careful -KAT

the end is near
Posted by Alana on Sat Nov 10 04:44:27 2001 (#1032)

Will me wanting to die ever end? I believe it will, soon. It will end when I die. Its the only solution.

"suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" - that's a fuckin joke. Temporary problem doesn't last 4 fuckin years, now does it? Temporary problem goes away doesn't it? Temporary problem will get better right?

My ass it's a temporary problem. Permanent, and I have the scars to prove it. They'll be there forever, as well as my pain and needing to die.

Sorry. I look like ass today, and I feel like shit.

Love, Alana