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Threads 351 to 375

Plz give me Seconal
Posted by lulu on Mon Mar 18 05:42:40 2002 (#1233)

I always wonder how they could get magic pills so easily. Docs are not so fool at this time. Anyway I had abusive parents, have no baeuty, ans am very poor. I always was dumped by guys after I had sex with them. Their reasons are always the same, " I do not want to have miserable girlfriend, without money? You are only worth to be used, haha. " I am fed up woth them and myself for being myself without parents or any of family. Anyway what I want to do is suicide. I hard time enough and I want to die peacefully. Please send me 100 Seconal as soon as possible. You can send me an e-mail lulu94109@hotmail.com Thank you , lulu

Re: Plz give me Seconal
Posted by tammy on Mon Mar 18 16:28:41 2002 (#1235)

hey

i wouldnt advise suicide cuz if it doesnt work then you are screwed! its a crap way to solve your probs and im sure that there is something to live for in your life....even if its just to prove that you can succeed and prove to everyone that youre not a failure and that you dont give up with out a hell of a fight!!!

ive tried to OD loadsa times and it hasnt worked yet...altho i wanted to at each time afta i woke up i was kinda glad that i hadnt and each time i get a lil bit better and hopefully one day ill never try it again!

i dont actually know what seconal are so i dont really understand that part..id guess its a drug?dont laugh if im just being dumb but hey im not perfect!

please dont do it cuz its a shit way to give into the people that are just trying to be above you...its kinda like letting them win....when instead you could fight back and succeed and REALLY piss them off!!

hope you are safe and well

love tammy xxx

I feel lost
Posted by Alana on Mon Mar 18 05:47:28 2002 (#1234)

I feel lost in the hate I feel from this world. I feel lost in my own mind. I feel lost in the love I can't give up to someone from my soul. I feel all too much tonight.

"Deliver me out of my sadness. Deliver me from all of the madness. Deliver me courage to guide me. Deliver me strength from inside me. All of my life, I've been in hiding, wishing there was someone just like you. Now that you're here, now that I've found you, I know that you're the one to pull me through.

I wish I had someone I could spend time with and show them who I am. I can't bear to be alone anymore. I feel that I can see what others can't...and this deep and intense emotion that I sense from the world around me has left me feeling dead inside. What's the point of living on the outside if you're already dead on the inside. I can't begin to explain why I can go from feeling alright with how things are, to complete and hopeless despair. I can't explain what I am to myself and everyone around me.

"I found out that the poets were the worst possible interpreters of their own writings" - I guess that explains why I can't interpret what I mean.

If it is to be, it's up to me to make things work around me. I can't trust others to shape my reality, my emotions, and my moral values. I have to be "ok". I view my existance as insignificant. Take a look around at the mass of importance in this world and really ponder what your life can do and can influence. Shit nothing. I'm useless. I would like to think that I represent a good attitude after all I've experienced these past years, and I'm a strong believer that attitudes are the mirror of the mind - they reflect thinking. My attitude toward myself is shit...my attitude towards the people in my life that I care about is quite positive. So what does this mean? How could I portray two completely different characters all at once. I don't understand how and why I've changed so much.

I'm not me.

~I am wise because I know nothing~ Socrates

I repeat that quote to myself sometimes when I'm feeling down. Gives me hope. Not much tonight though.

Love, Alana

Re: I feel lost
Posted by jii on Tue Mar 19 19:31:18 2002 (#1236)

I have the same sore of fellings as you do I hate how I am and I hate the world. But yet I love my family I do not now way I think this way and have tried to think in other ways but I just can not do it. I guss it is how I am and that is how it has to be.

cya ill be off now
Posted by scared aka donna on Tue Mar 19 21:34:51 2002 (#1237)

now finally the time has come for me to be free, for me to escape frome everyones power and control that they somehow have over me. what i am about to do now will show them who exactly does have the power around here and who doesnt...........bye xxxxxxxx

Re: cya ill be off now
Posted by Alana on Tue Mar 19 22:25:00 2002 (#1238)

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. I can't stop you. Never could stop anyone. So all I have to say is good luck. I hate that I can't do more, but I'm stuck.

Love, Alana

Re: cya ill be off now
Posted by ella on Tue Mar 19 22:50:43 2002 (#1239)

hey i hope that you dont do it cuz ive learnt some really valuable things from you and i have been SO inspired by things that you write ....hey if youre still on read my quotes i found...i wish i could help more!

love you LOTS

ella xxxxx

hit a low
Posted by amy on Wed Mar 20 17:15:09 2002 (#1241)

I won't to cry but there is nothing there I just fell empty in side. there is just the darkness I hate this world some much and wished that I was never born.All I ever do is make things roung and never do right I just wish I could be free that is all.

Re: hit a low
Posted by ella on Wed Mar 20 18:52:07 2002 (#1242)

heya amy,

i wish i could give you a big hug so that you could see that somebody cares!! i know that it gets really hard and i do mean REALLY hard.....but believe me from my own experiences when i say that ending your life is a crap way to go!

im sure that you do do things right and that you dont always mess up...i BET youre a really nice person and just confused more than anything.

What sorta things are going wrong in your life...like whats the main probs...if you dont mind me asking?

i wanna help you if youll let me!!!

hope you are ok and just know that i care and ill be thinking of you!

lotsa love, ella xxx

write back as soon as you can so we can start to sort out some of your probs :)

I hate everything...maybe someone understands...
Posted by Samantha on Thu Mar 21 00:23:40 2002 (#1244)

Dear Friends,

I hate everything...maybe someone understands...
Posted by Samantha on Thu Mar 21 00:25:57 2002 (#1245)

Dear Friends,

I don't know what to do. I fel so alone and so worthless and so hopeless to change anything. I'm 20 and I am pathetic. I hate my life, the people in it and everything that makes me feel this way. Nothing is fun. Does anyone underrstand. Just messge me on aol Pimpettea....or yahoo jaretwoman thanks

Countdown til the end!
Posted by Bex on Fri Mar 22 19:06:18 2002 (#1248)

I use to live in a big city and now i live in a tiny one where i feel invincible! being known as the puerto rican monkey hurts me! i have had manic depression since i was 7. suicide has always been a thing for me, i just cant imagine having to wake up tomorrow and deal with people! i want it all, i want love, to be loved, to be in love, to feel like i have a purpose! i write poetry and alli can write about is overdosing and killing the world! i feel out of place wherever i go but i am the popular girl! i guess people dont realize that i cant just change my mood so easily! i literally cry when i look in the mirror! and the problem is that i know its wrong! i work at a place where people are retarded and disabled and they would give anything to be where i'm at. i'm 5'6, 123 and i starve myself cuz i'm fat! but i know thats wrong! its shouldnt be that way! people tell me i'm beautiful all the time but when you hate whats inside of you, what other people say doesnt matter! i've done therapy, hypnosis, hospitalization, medication.... i just dont know where to go. what to do or say! i like this guy and he seems to show interst in me but i find myself treating him badly so that way he will stay away from me and i wont hurt him! i am scared that by him knowing me, he will get hurt and he doesnt deserve that! i'd rather be alone than subject him to my insane ways! i dont know what this will do for me, probably nothin, but its better than listening to good wholesome people give me unrealistic solutions!

To ella
Posted by amy on Fri Mar 22 21:11:58 2002 (#1249)

I do not now way my job is good but I have this hate for the world and for me. I now I have depression and that I hit a low but I have not had this for a long time I just wish for it all to stop.