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Adriane
All poems copyright, Adriane Sarandrea
Stop
river of tears
river of fears
they wash away my pain
they wash away my pain
i wish upon a star
but i know i won't get far
i miss you, baby
in every way
in every way
i'm crying here
i'm dying here
is this the way it's supposed to end
is this the way it's supposed to end
blood on the wall
blood on my bed
all the pain
it's gone
it's gone
Myself
she sits in a corner
the pain inside is too much to bear
she takes out the only thing that helps with her pain
it is her new best friend
she opens the blade
she knows she shouldn't do it
so many people say it's wrong
but it's the only way to make the pain go away
she cuts once
she waits
the blood starts to come to the surface
she can feel the release it brings
she cuts again
this time it's deeper
the more blood she sheds
the less she feels the pain inside
she hears footsteps in the hall
she quickly puts her friend away
and hides the wounds she has just made
she can't let them know
she's afraid that if they find out
they'll take away her friend
her security
her life
she leaves her room
acting like she is the happy child they expect her to be
but inside
she's a troubled teen with fears and lots of pain
she doesn't let people get too close
she's afraid they might get hurt
afraid that they'll hurt her
she lives alone in her mind
she hates the way people lie to her
telling her they care
telling her they understand
begging her to believe them
she doesn't believe anyone
if she believed them
she would only be hurt again
and that would be too much of a risk to take in her state
she's hurt a lot of people
and for that she is truly sorry
that is why she refuses to get too close
that is why she remains so far
Girl
i know a girl
with many scars
scars from the pain
she has suffered through life
i know a girl
with beautiful green eyes
they mask all the pain
she keeps bottled up inside
i know a girl
with a heart so torn
that every night she cries
wondering how she's still alive
i know a girl
with the power to love
but she's afraid to love anyone
because she's afraid to get hurt
i know a girl
who cares so much about everyone else
but she doesn't care enough about herself
because no one gives a damn about her
i know a girl
with a smile that could light up a room
if only she would show it
but she hasn't found anything that could make her that happy
i know a girl
her name means "creative"
she is a sad, lonely girl
who happens to be me
Dark Angel
dark angel
wrap your wings around me
i want you to hold me
i need to feel your embrace
i love the way you let me bleed
you take away my pain
you don't criticize me
you're always by my side
i use you as my shield
you protect me
protect me from others
protect me from HIM
dark angel
i love you
i wish you could love me in return
but you aren't human
you don't feel
you are only my protector
and nothing more
The Blade
i found a friend in you
you give me comfort
you let me bleed
all my inner pain disappears
with one touch from you
my blood flows freely
the site of you sends shivers down my spine
i know what i must do
it's time to bleed
as your cold steel touches my flesh
i take a deep breath
i start to bleed
you reassure me that there is a way out
if this world ever gets to be too much
i can bleed myself lifeless
you're the only one i'll allow to hurt me physically
the world can hurt me mentally
but only you can make me bleed
A Poem About Cutting
people don't understand anything about cutting
they ask me why i do it
but i can't explain
i've tried explaining
but they think i'm insane
or my reason isn't good enough for them
they tell me i'm hurting my body
i'm destroying my beauty
what beauty?
can't you see?
i'm not beuatiful
i never was
i'm just making my ugliness worse
if that's even possible
cutting is a way for me to escape
i bleed out my inner pain
the pain is an adrenaline rush
and the rush is indescribeable
it make sme feel i have control
when the rest of my life is chaotic
it helps me get away for a while
for a moment i am free
it's like a good trip
without the pill
the scars that remain won't stay for long
but that's okay
i'll just keep cutting and no one will ever know