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Why Me?
Copyright, Beth
One look at me... you'd never know,
but us self harmers... we never show,
all the hurt and pain that i hide,
all crammed in my lonely heart inside.
that felling of pride,
that i get inside,
no more fear building up,
just slice my arm don't even look.
A feeling of happiness and even relief,
passes through me, only quite brief,
and then i'll return to be,
the same old depressed...suicidal me.
i wish i could stop this nonsense,
bring me back to the past tense,
where love was all i had, but now it's gone and am i glad?
i reach for that blade again and cut my arm,
it sets off a trigger, a certain alarm,
i can't explain the feelings i get,
but when i harm i don't regret.
this is my way to cope,
maybe one day ill make it to the top of that steep slope,
where happiness doesn't go amiss,
where i could reach eternal bliss.
But now as i burn my wrist,
vanishes my image of bliss,
i'll be this way forever,
can i change? never...