Psyke.org

Cristal

Copyright, Cristal

My name is Cristal. I am 17 years old. I cut, bite, and overdose. It all started when my boyfriend dumped me and I got depression. Five months later a guy who was my mom’s boyfriend left. So I became suicidal. That was Nov. 15, 2000. On Nov. 20 I wrote a suicide note and gave it to somebody. They called the cops and I went to the emergency mental hospital for a few hours then I went home. On Dec. 14, 2000 I started cutting. And I still do it now I bite and overdose. I have overdosed 11 times within 10 months. I haven’t overdosed in 7 weeks but I still cut once in a while. So I know what you people are going through. I was raped etc. by friends and family.

A few days later, Cristal sent me the following:

I have been self harming for six years. I didn’t know until recently that punching walls and hitting yourself with hard objects is self harming. I cut at least once every two weeks but the last week and half I have been doing it almost every day. I am almost getting kicked out of my special school I go to. I mean cutting is something I have to do every day. I have been cutting almost 15 months. It is very hard to explain to people why I have scars all over my arms, stomach, and legs. Nobody that doesn’t cut understand why I do it. It helps me relax. I have also overdosed 13 times within 11 and a half months. I have been in the mental hospital for self abuse and overdosing and it sucks. So I am writing this to tell people that if you are thinking of cutting or overdosing don’t do it. It is not worth it. I haven’t learned that life is worth living but I know I will get there some day because I have a bunch of people help me get through the bad times. And I bet if you try you can get help to.

I just received this update from Cristal:

I’m writing back to let you know how I am doing. Well since last time I have stopped cutting for 6 months now. I am still overdosing. I’m trying so hard to stop but it’s not that easy. I am getting married in August. My fiancÚ is what changed me the most he made me realize how much life means. I still fight with all of the feelings, but now I just look at my life. And I know that if I do something I will hurt my dear beloved Dean, who means the world to me. So just to let people know you can get through this no matter what.

Another update from Cristal:

I writen you people about four years ago and I want to update my story. I am married for almost three years to Dean. I have stopped cutting for five months now. Me and my husband are on our own. I did stop overdosing until two and half weeks ago. I am doing very good. Considering everything I have been through. I have met a wonderful lady that has helped me get my life on track. I have a wonderful therapist. Will talk to you soon.

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/personal/c/cristal