Psyke.org

Gema

Copyright, Gema

Hi, I’m Gema, dob 24/06/81. I try my best not to self injure, but hey, I’ve been doing this now for 9 years, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop. It’s a part of everyday life to me now. When I tell people they usually try to be empathetic, but it’s blatantly obvious that they are confused, sickened even. I don’t always know why I SI. Sometimes it’s a distraction from the pain I’m really feeling. It lets me experience physical pain, and relieve the mental pain (does that make sense?) OK, it’s like when I bleed, bruise, burn, whatever. It’s like all the bad shit from my life is oozing out.

Not many people know about my self harm, I am a great hider. However, out of those who do know (mother included) some (her again) choose to ignore it. It’s like if they pretend it’s not there; it will go away. Well that’s just not true, it will always be with me, it’s a bigger part of my life than ever.

When I cut I need to be alone. I have my supplies you know. Scissors, kitchen knife, razor blades, glass; all wrapped up in a security blanket, I keep it in a box by my bed. I get it out, and sit in the corner of my room and slowly harm. I feel great when i do this.

Thanx for listening,
Gema

 

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