I’m a self harmer along with a bunch of other things. I’ve been SI’ing since I was eleven years old. Now I am an eighteen year old lost little girl inside. My whole life I’ve been abused mentally, physically and sexually. So that’s a lot of trauma. I remember the first time I cut I was throwing up my food in the bathroom and I looked at myself in the mirror. All I saw was a disgusting person. Fat and ugly. Even though I weighed 78 pounds. So I took a knife that someone was using in the bathroom and cut myself. I thought it would hurt. But it felt good. I’m still trying to figure out how I got the idea to do it. But ever since then I’ve been hooked. It was like a drug. Which I soon became addicted to. With cutting it released all my problems but only for a little while. I haven’t cut in about four months so I know I can do it longer. I’ve also been clean from drugs for sixty days. It’s a struggle every day but with perseverance I can do it.