Hi, my name is Kayla, and when I was ten years old I was sexually abused by my step-father, and he used to threaten me, and when I was thirteen years old I started to self-injure as this horrible past was coming back to me. All my friends were turning on me because of my anorexia, and my guy friend, Kellen, didn’t understand anything I was going through, and as a secret, I cut myself on my wrists and on my ankles for a month until, somehow, everybody found out.
When my sister found out I thought the world was going to blow up I got yelled at so much, but since she was in a good mood, she didn’t tell my parents. I had kids in my class threaten to tell my teachers, and the teachers did think something was going on, but I did hide my cuts very good. Yet still I was very ready to go to Fox Run Hospital, and it has been a year that I have been self-injuring and still no one else has found out how I get rid of all the pain in my house that I have to deal with, all the rumors, all the beatings, and all the lies that my family goes through, because that will always be my secret, but all I have to say is good luck to everybody, and thank you for reading my story.
A story for you
I started cutting myself when I was thirteen. Which I still am by the way. To be honest, it really didn’t seem like me at all to do it. I was supposed to be the happy girl, the one everyone knew and liked. So why? Why would I do it? So many people wondered why. Day after day of walking through the hall with my friends crying takes its toll. I would simply say, really you guys, it’s no big deal. while they just sat there with such a pain in their eyes filled with tears. Do you want to know? Do you want to know why I cut myself? I did it because I was sad, and depressed, having so many problems, I just kept to myself, I like to help people, but feel bad to ask others for help. So every time something bad happened, I turned to the knife. To be truthfully honest, I didn’t like doing it… Not at all really. But what kept me going was the fact that I was getting hurt, I was hurting myself and that’s what I deserved. It didn’t matter if I liked it, it was hurting me and that’s all that mattered. A slice here, a slice there, no biggy, right? Wrong, I know that cutting may seem to be the answer, but it’s not. No one should harm themselves. It’s not worth dying over some teenage years we’ll look back on and say, wow, how could I have been so stupid? Considering that day you may be very successful in life. Sure, love, family and friend issues, yeah, they take their toll and play a huge part in teenage years, but if you let it get the best of you, there won’t be anything left. No friends, fun, or even just life in general. I was one of the lucky ones you could say. I wasn’t willing to tell anyone about it, knowing I would be classified as a freak, but little did I realise that almost every person that found out did the total opposite. They all told me to stop because things can get better, ‘no’ I would say, they can’t. But for all of you out there who think things can’t get better, well think again. Go to a counsellor, or a friend, just someone you know you can trust and talk to them about it. Let hope guide you, and love, and all the things you can experience in life. That amazing band you’d love to meet, that college you want to go to so badly, the desire to be involved in a sport professionally. Think about the possibilities you can have in life if you put down the knives and razors and pins. Seeing blood drip down your arm, is not the answer. Jesus died on the cross for us, are you really going to sit there and repay him by hurting yourself? He wants all of us to live life to its fullest. Be happy, be joyful, be free. Jesus died for us, there’s no need for you to possibly die too. So I’m proud to say for myself and for Jesus that I have stopped cutting, and am looking at a much better future. So join me and the others who have put it in the past. Live for today because yesterday is over and tomorrow may never come.