My first cut was when I was 8 years old and in 4th grade. I still do not know what brought this to my head. I do not know what made me think to hurt myself. I thought I did it because I was mad at my mom for leaving now I think I did it mostly for attention, because my mother was not giving that to me. I was living with my father. I did it over and over. When I made it to the middle school in 8th grade that is when I really fell apart I was raped 2 times in summer 1999 and raped again in winter 2000. I was falling apart. I took some pills and slit my wrist really bad. I had to get 36 stiches and I had to get my stomach pumped. That is when I had my first hospitalization. Since then I have been hospitalized 10 times for cutting myself and trying to commit suicide. I was doing it a lot (2-3 times a day) now I don’t do it too much. What a change. For once im proud of myself!