People not Always Being Right
All my friends at college were talking about self-harm. It was hard to sit there and listen to what they were saying. But then they turned and asked me what did I think and couldn’t think of what to say. I mean what do you say when people are talking about something you do? So I just sat there for a minute and then said “well, I really don’t know”. So I turned to Becky and asked her and she was talking about this girl who was the same age as us (sixteen). But in the end I just got up and walked away. Later that day when I got home I got on the phone to my nana and told her about it and she told me that I should go to the doctor and talk to him. So I phoned up my boyfriend afterwards and asked him if he would come with me and he did and when we got there and had told the doctor, all he said was that I should help myself. So my boyfriend got mad and walked out.
So what I’m saying is that when people tell you to go and see the doctor it doesn’t always help. I mean it’s been a year now and I still self-harm.
I cant really remember the first time I cut, it was weird, getting some glass and cutting yourself on purpose, why would anyone want to hurt themselves? I still don’t really know why. When I get down or angry or any emotion that’s the opposite to happy I cut, I just grab some glass and cut as many times as I feel like as long as there’s blood coming out I don’t care. People call me attention seeker and freak! That makes me do it more I just wish someone understood me, I couldn’t imagine my life without cutting in it. It’s like my best friend. It’s always there to cheer me up when I’m down, people ask me “what ya do” and I make something up, they don’t believe me and they just don’t want to say nothing. I don’t want to stop cutting otherwise my life would be empty it fulfils me in many ways. Well that’s my story, and I cant believe I was so brave to tell you lot about it. Thanks for reading.