I have cut myself 126 times since I have been SI’ing. I have just this month been carving things. When people see it they call me weird and crazy and all types of junk. My friends are worried about me and they think I am suicidal when I do it but I am just cutting to stay alive if that sounds right. I love the feeling of the blade running across my skin. It gives me a feeling of freedom and control. I like the pain. I don’t why I started and I don’t always know why I cut. Sometimes when I get into a fight with my parents I won’t cut. I know that sounds weird but sometimes I just cut without warning. I could be having the best day of my life then I will just sit down and tear my arm or legs or whatever to pieces. I know it sounds crazy but it is just the way it is with me. I hate my parents with a passion not like I feel with anyone else. I have been molested during a three month period at school by two guys that were in my class, what makes me so mad about that is that the school would not do anything about it they just ignored my complaints. Christina, one of my friends says that “I don’t like it and I don’t think you should be doing it, and you are screwing up your life!” that is what she said and how she feels but she is still my friend. The thing she does not realise is that it is a addiction. Just like smoking, it feels good. I am so glad there is a site that people can tell their true story about this and tell others that it is not that bad and it is just a way of life!