I am a twenty-eight year old woman and I have been cutting for around seven or eight years although there are times that I remember hurting myself before, it may just be that I never identified what it was then.
Like many of the poeple who have been brave enough to tell their story on this site I have had a good life. I have never been abused or neglected, I have always had love from my parents who have never done anything except encourage and care for me.
And yet despite this I still hate the person I have become. I feel alone constantly, I’m confused, scared, lonely and tired of feeling the way I do. There is no one I can confide in and so far my self harm has remained a closely guarded secret. I have never told anyone of what I do. To say the words “I hurt myself” are both terrifying and liberating to me and there is a part of me that wants to scream it to the whole world, but I never will.
I have many scars on my upper arms and thighs, scars that I know will never fade. Sometimes I can go for weeks without cutting but it always comes back and each time it does it comes back worse and I cut deeper.
And even though I know that I should want to stop cutting I don’t, not yet. Like all cutters, I need the relief too much.