OK, so my parents don’t care, and I’m back to my usual old self; come home, go upstairs don’t talk, anti-social and to myself. But just once I wish I would be noticed, I mean I’m like a wall, no one knows I’m even there. so when I was 11 I decided to cut, did so for about 4 months, someone found out in therapy for also 4 months. I didn’t want the kind of attention I got, so I decided to just stop cutting. But that wasn’t going to happen.
It was a thursday and I was in need to cut. I was clean for 5 days, and that was all I could handle. So during lunch I broke a pen, and started to cut the bottom of my hand with it. I controlled the bleeding and didn’t pay all that attention to it.
6th period I still wanted to do that, but seeing as I was in the front I couldn’t, so I waited. 7th period and I’m insane and in need to cut. I sit in the back of the class in the chem lab next to my friend and started to cut. First she didn’t notice, but when blood started to cover the floor or where we were sitting she became suspicious.
Slowly I took the pen and cut my hand, it would sink in and then I would pull toward my self cutting down. I did this about 6 times before I was happy. While I was doing it I had the same thing going through my head “always finish what you start” so I was destined to be happy. Which I did.
Currently I have two words cut into myself, “-H-A-t-E” and “DI”. I’ll probably add to the list. But I’m just going to let things go how they go.
I tell others that I’ll be here to talk, and not to worry about me because I don’t, but people that suspect things don’t stop when you tell them that. So be aware of those destined to figure out someone’s life, for all you know it could be yours.