Not Good Enough to be Loved
Copyright Willow Saberhagen
I sit in a dark and cold room. I feel the now cold hard truth. All my life everyone loved everyone else but me. And I sit wondering what I did wrong to deserve this. I soon realise that I always stood alone, when I believed someone actually cared about me. When really they left when I needed them and they only stayed to see my scars and scoff.
And now I know better than to trust again. I still wonder why I was ignored. But I now know. I was never good enough for love, after all no one wants to love someone who loves seeing her own blood and watching her skin rip open and bleed. No one wants to love a freak like me. They hate me and dispise me and when I get into their pictures they cut me and paint me out.
I have learned that I am not good enough for love or worth paying attention to, so I walk through life with scars and cuts and blood running down my arms and legs and yet they ignore me, like an empty can on the ground they can ignore. I have learned to deal and will walk through the rest of life knowing I am not and never will be good enough to be loved.