Psyke.org

Anelise

Another Bad Day

Copyright, Anelise

Another bad day, the results are inevitable.
I go to my room, already feeling a sense of relief.
Out comes the blade.
I gently run it across my wrist,
Taking pleasure in the feel of the cold metal against my hot skin.
Then I think of you, of all the bad things and the anger returns.
I get the blade.
I run it savagely across my skin, tearing it.
I take great joy in watching the blood appear.
I stretch the skin to make the wound larger.
I feel all of the anger disappear, it’s almost like happiness.
Then I feel a sense of regret.
I put away the blade.
I clean away the blood,
Wanting to turn back time.
The tears begin to fall, look at me,
What am I? I have nothing, I can achieve nothing,
I am nothing.
I cover up the cuts, hiding my shame,
Then I continue my life, like nothing’s changed.
Everything’s still the same.
Another bad day…

Goodbye

Copyright, Anelise

I tell you I want to die,
You nod your head,
I begin to cry

What’s wrong with this world?
Why does it have to be like this?
I need help, no one cares,
I need love, no one dares

Why does no one understand?
Why is it always me?
I try and I try to live this life
I try and I try to keep it inside
But it all comes out when I’m pushed aside
I’m worthless, I’m lonely,
I want to die

Life sucks, it’s piss,
My family’s fucked,
What’s up with this?
It’s not right, it’s not fair
Fuck it,
Soon I’ll be up there

Why does no one understand?
Why is it always me?
I try and I try to live this life
I try and I try to keep it inside
But it all comes out when I’m pushed aside
I’m worthless, I’m lonely,
I want to die

Why does this keep happening?
What makes me feel this way?
You don’t care
I don’t feel
It’s not right, it’s not fair

Why does no one understand?
Why is it always me?
I try and I try to live this life
I try and I try to keep it inside
But it all comes out when I’m pushed aside
I’m worthless, I’m lonely,
I want to die

I tell you I want to die,
I take the jump,
You begin to cry

 

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