My hand reaches out, I’m taunted from within myself.
I snatch my chosen article and push it within me.
I will it to stop but it is too late.
Already I’m taken under, enveloped in pain and bliss.
Feelings are mixed, senses are numb.
Those few seconds are all I need.
Please don’t take them from me.
It rains down upon a surface.
This how it feels to be here.
To watch yourself fade, to waste.
If you only knew then you’d never punish me,
Never make me do this again.
You said you’d be there for me, my hope, my light, my way.
Instead you hold me back and cause me to feel.
Why are you no longer my release.
Why is it that everything you touch turns to hate.
I sit, I watch, I prepare
A blade, My arm, My cut
I slice, I wait, I cry
The blood, The pain, The rush
I need the pain, but I hate the pain
I will the pain away
I like the scars but I hate the scars
I will the scars away
Dirty, Empty, Exposed
Angry, Pained, Forever
I woke up one morning in a sea of blood.
I needed the release. be it only a quick one.
My victims beacons of the damage, the weapons grinning, wanting it again.
Deeper every time until I had to stop.
I need the release and I need the pain.
They stared at me, glared at me, laughed at me.
But noone stopped me.
They despise me, hate me, loathe me.
Flashing red against the night air, a river running beside me.
Please stop, it’s all I want, but I need the pain.
I need the release