Psyke.org

Emma Louise

Open Secret

Copyright, Emma Louise

I’ve found myself a little thing
Something to tide me by
But it’s a secret this little thing
It drys up the tears when I cry

It’s an individual thing to me
I dug around to find it
It was hiding in my personality
A burntout torch waiting to be re-lit

You’ve seenthis thing I found
It covered my arm yesterday
It picks me up when I’m feeling down
It’s been a friend to me in a way

Understanding

Copyright, Emma Louise

I don’t feel , I don’t know
Where you are , where I go
But inside I crumble
Every step I take I stumble

I can’t walk , I can’t sleep
I feel bad , I feel weak
and deep down I’ve cried
through it all though I’ve tried

To step back , take a look
at my life , like a book
You weave in all your lies
Scratch them deep and I die

So I feel , so I cry
I am human and I die
you don’t care about this
Just some fun thats all it is

I can bleed , I can fall
I won’t be afraid , I’ll still call
To my soul deep inside
Where I crawl and I hide

Doubting

Copyright, Emma Louise

You can slit my wrists
I am not aware
I’ve never felt like this
And I don’t really care

I’m dead inside
No feelings
I’m left behind
I’m screaming

Put your mark on my skin
Brand me, hate me, kill and strangulate me
Do whatever I’m not giving in
Go on and squeeze till’ I struggle to breathe

I’m dead inside
I’m drowning
I’m left behind
Still doubting

Decision

Copyright, Emma Louise

I’m sitting here alone in the dark
Musing over thoughts and memories
The blood is dripping off my arms
And the pain is bringing me to ecstasy

I don’t know why
I’m doing this
And I can’t provide
Answers for the signs that I missed

If I succeed today with this
You’ll never have to hear
Confession, if I took the risk
And your conscience can pretend to be clear

But if I took a different route
And fought for what is right
Or locked up the enemy that you salute
You’ll continue to scream in the night

Cuts

Copyright, Emma Louise

I’m ignoring can’t hear you
Just thoughts in my head
Open my eyes and I’m someone new
That stupid bitch is dead

No more talk of darkness
Only wanna hear about life
No more news of unrest
I fixed it all with a knife

I cleansed my soul of the crap
Scratched away all of the dirt
Don’t want no more of that
Kept on going couldn’t feel the hurt

The dirt is all gone now
but I’m still on scratching
Pools of blood fill my mouth
I’m obsessed with this thing

Never was the crazy one
Just a dirty cheap slut
Felt the words burn in the sun
And out they poured when I cut

Scars

Copyright, Emma Louise

Take my hate
and wash it down
Bring it back
To hear me howl

Slit my wrists
Renew the scars
The pain is bliss
For my dead heart

Coz I’ve been here
All alone
Consumed by fear
I’m on my own

I taste the blood
The memory
Crawls through mud
It crawls on me

 

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