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Erica

Untitled

Copyright, Erica

‘it shows,’ she said
holding out her arm
for all to see.
the red stripes
oozed their scarlet syrup
slow and steady,
but no one noticed.
‘it shows,’ she said
a little bit louder,
her pain written there
in bold sharp lines…
but they didn’t even look.
‘it SHOWS!’ she screamed
above the crowd that now gathered
gawking at her rolled-up sleeves
‘IT SHOWS!!’ she yelled,
as they ‘ooh’-ed and ‘ahh’-ed
over the length of the scratches
and the scars they would leave,
‘IT SHOWS!’
but they never saw her pain.

Scraping

Copyright, Erica

grating on my skin
with fingernails that appear
at the touch of a temper.
finally stumbling upon
the soft inner layer,
where the demons reside.
finding the red
and ripping in savagely
trying to cure the ache
the disease in me…
this tension
nightly,
comes to my mind
absorbing into my entire body
till it feels like i’ll explode
if i dont find a way out.
stretch out the skin
and pull down,
breaking it,
tearing into,
destroying the madness
that lies just beneath the surface.
time slows
and i watch the thick dark syrup
trickle out of me
like paint,
staining my arms
in my sin.

Strangers Eyes

Copyright, Erica

i watched myself through stranger’s eyes,
i could not use my own
my hands were cold and shaking still
and all my strength was gone.
i watched myself through stranger’s eyes
because i could not see
through my own eyes, just how the pain
had started killing me.
i watched myself through stranger’s eyes
as i swallowed the blade
and saw the claws slowly appear and
saw the mess they made.
i watched myself through stranger’s eyes
so i didn’t have to see
my old habit start up again
my own self-injury

 

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