The air was so sickeningly fresh it poisoned her lungs. Every inch of her body ached when she inhaled the sickly intoxicating scent of death. She hated this place with every fiber of her weak body. The girl would lie in the darkness for god knows how long, doing nothing but feel sorry for herself. She wouldn’t cry anymore, her tears only made her feel more helpless. Even if she had cried, her tears were so silent nobody could see them, no one could hear them, it became useless to cry. Just as it had become useless to hope. The girl knew that she would no longer be free. A man had thrust her in this cage, a man so strong he could make her tremble with his gaze. This man was the only person that could make her feel so worthless that she would just stay there, in the small room. She could escape whenever she wanted to, but she never did, because she knew that if she even thought about leaving this awful place, there would be no salvation form the hell that would break loose. So she would lie from day to day, loosing track of time because in here time was as useless as hope. Hours, days, minutes they had all long lost their meaning. The clock was slowly ticking, but bitterly, waiting for her demise, waiting for her to loose her mind. She had lost it all when this man arrived, he destroyed her from the inside out, making everything wrong, everything gone. And now she lies hopeless on the floor, waiting for the clock, waiting for the right time, to just commit suicide. To take the small knife in her hand and thrust it in her veins. The end is near for her, she might snap any day, but he would still win every battle. The battle today, the battle tomorrow, the battles of forever and beyond.
Sticks and stones might break my bones, but your words will always hurt me. They will always weaken me from the inside. Making me frail, making me susceptible to your endless games. Why do I keep on falling apart? I fall and fall in your endless traps. Endless lies and endless games, why must you always make me feel pain? Can’t you understand that your words hurt? That they will always bring me pain. Why won’t you leave me alone? Can’t you just let it go? Stop using my past to get me back. I can never be yours. Because I’m not your property, or something that you can use. Let me go. Just let me be free. Understand that I can’t go on living like this. End my pain, and stop pretending that I am your slave. I’m slowly going insane. Take the blade in hand. Cut the soft skin, and let the blood be free. White skin stained by red blood. Like endless snowfields covered in war. Blood soon falls on the fields of while, leaving everything red behind. Her body falls. The rug is stained red. She is dead, but she has finally been set free.
Light, she was always walking in the light. She would smile all the time. Never frowning, never sad. She was a perfect one. Full of love and always caring. She was sweetness and perfection on the outside. But on the inside she was not. She was bruised and torn because of the past. The girl would always cry alone in the dark. Always wondering why she couldn’t also be perfect on the inside. Rotting from the inside, masked by happiness in the outside. When a soul is savagely broken, broken like a piece of glass. When there is nothing left to unwind. When there is nothing left to discover, maybe just her masochistic lover. Why does she pretend to be fine, when she is scared from the inside. Why do you love pain? It’s a never ending game. Perfection, perfection, why must you be, the one that ends up in misery.
Freedom. That’s how you feel. Because you can fly so free. Nothing holds you back, because you are a dove. Someone so pure and white, that you can’t help but shine with light. Someone that can’t help but smile all the time. You are a dove. A bird that brings peace. Someone not meant to be touched by me. To be stained by my sins. Staying pure and white means that you can never leave that light. It means that you will never see me. Never see the real darkness, or never taste the smell of blood. Never be able to help me. I am the darkness, and you are the light. A bringer of peace, and a bringer of war. I bring only sorrow, while you bring happiness. Leave me alone please, you beautiful dove. Don’t help me, because I will stain you with sins.
Cover your wounds
Don’t let them know you’ve cried
Don’t let them know that all you think about
Don’t let them know you’re weak
Don’t let them know you’re helpless
In your eyes you’re worthless
Beat yourself senseless
Can’t stop the pain
Don’t end the game
Can’t see any way out
Don’t want to work it out
Can’t seem to get control
I’m buried inside myself
Can’t get someone’s attention
Don’t seem to want affection
Can’t make the sadness go away
Don’t let me explain
Can’t see the future without pain
Don’t let it end this way