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Laura

Untitled

Copyright Laura

slit your wrist
how to die,if you don’t
I’ll be forst to retry
If you cry you are weak
So stand the pain, don’t be ashamd

One Slash

Copyright Laura

I cut every night
So my emotions and flesh don’t fight

One slash for my failures
One slash for my regrets
One slash for my anger
One slash for my being a reject

You don’t understand, it’s my only way to cope
You don’t understand, I’ve no place else to go
You don’t understand, that I don’t understand

I cut every night
So my emotions and flesh don’t fight

One slash for my fears
One slash for my confusion
One slash for past years
One slash for my delusion

You don’t understand, it’s my only way to cope
You don’t understand, I’ve no reason to hope
You don’t understand, that I don’t understand

I cut every night
So my emotions and flesh don’t fight

One slash for my sadness
One slash for my hate
One slash for my madness
One slash for my fate

You don’t understand, it’s my only way to cope
You don’t understand, that I don’t understand

Running Away

Copyright Laura

Where can I find a release
These problems don’t seem to cease
I searched all my life for an answer
I’m having trouble finding it in You

And I cut to bleed myself dry
Of all the pain I feel inside

The scars mean the wounds are healing
The emptiness temporarily leaving
The anguish briefly subsiding
But the hurt’s still residing

I don’t know why I do what I do
I cant help running from You
I haven’t lost all my beliefs
But these cuts help me find release

And I cut to bleed myself dry
Of all the pain I feel inside

And these scars mean the wounds are healing
My emptiness slowly leaving
My anguish briefly subsiding
But these hurts are still residing

And I know you wash my sins away
You take the pain I feel inside
And show truth through all the lies
Yet I keep running away
Running away from the truth

And I cut to bleed myself dry
Of all the pain I feel inside

Learning From My Past

Copyright Laura

As the days pass slowly
and the weeks creep by
i find my self obsessing
abou ways i could die

i lay a wake at night
thinking of my pain
there is no way it can get better
i have nothing left to gain

suddenly thoughts of death
are controlling my every more
and every battle with my mine
i always seem to lose

i no longer whant to be around
the people that i love
all i can think about
is what watting up above

i cut my arms with razor blades
to dull the pain inside
but that can only last so long
i don’t to be alive

i manage to keep my composere
when people are around
they wouln’t understand me
so i don’t make a sound

i smile when i have to
i break down when i feel down
i know i should bestrong
but i also know i wont

so i make a plan to take some pills
it shouldn’t take to long
i write notes to all my friends
to read when i’m gona

i ask my mom to understand
that life is just to hard
my mind can’t fight it no more
my heart is far to scared

i plan out so perfectly
i even set the date
i’m pretty sure i’m ready
i know this is my fate

my bed is made up neatly
as i take them one by one
i start to feel i little sacred
i know i’m almost done

all i can think about
is how i’m letting go
and how much i love my friends and my family
i really bett they know

my eyes are getting heavy
my body feels so weak
everything inside is numb
that is the way it has to be

i’m glad mom is not hear right know
to wach me slowly die
but still i wish i coould say
i love you and good-bye

i give into darkness
i slowly slip oway
i hope i go to heaven
where dak nights turn to day

Cutting

Copyright Laura

I slash my wrist,
To ease my pain.
I hide my face,
To shield my pain.

You never listen,
I never tell.
My emotions,
I keep hidden.
My face,
Covered by a mask.
I’m strong,
On the inside.
But really,
I’m made of glass.

I can’t handle your critism.
My shame and hate explode.
I live in a glass house where,
People are constantly throwing stones.

My blood flows all around me.
I go sliding to the floor.
My heart can’t take it.
My bodys full of hate.
This time I think it’s too late.

Broken Down Child

Copyright Laura

Its over for her
She’s lost it all
No more friends
Her family is gone
The place she once called home
Is also gone
She’s complete alone
Hiding from those
Who criticize her
Those who will never understand her
This broken down child
Has met her end
This broken down child
Has hit rock bottok
As I look at the story
This mirror has told
I now realize
I am this Broken Down Child
And its time to go…

The Beauty in Pain

Copyright Laura

Nobody knows
Nobody sees
All the pain
That is shown on my wrist
Not just one or two
But three or four
Everyday
There is more
But when the see
The truth I have hidden
They worry and cry
They beg you to be finished
Asking questions
Like why you did it
I don’t really care
What your thoughts are on this
Being a cutter
Has become my bliss
So leave me alone
As I hide in the bathroom
My everyday ritual
My everyday scars
You might be digusted
You might just see pain
But I see beauty
Created by me

Untitled

Copyright Laura

you said you felt pain, but it went away
you said you were scared, but those fears past
just try being me, theres pain every day
unable to hide, wondering how long it can last

you cannot forgive me, yet you hold me so close
you cannot bileave me, yet you say its alright
but i cannot have you, thats what hurts the most
it is my own lies which i have to fight

Pretending to Care

Copyright Laura

You don’t feel the pain
so how do you know
you don’t have the humiliation
so how do you understand
you don’t see the truth
so how can you judge me
you don’t know who i am
so how can you care

Regression

Copyright Laura

i tell myself im dreaming
move away from my hate
but my flesh, the blade is screaming
one cut to seal my fate
removed from the sadness
sick of telling lies
silence turns to madnes
and myself i despise
my selfish thoughts engulf me
cold metal touches skin
the door is locked they cant see
as i commit this sin.

It’s Not Your Fault

Copyright Laura

never again will i make you ashamed,
forever now i have taken the blame,
i know its my fault, i know that you cry,
but if i stopped i couldnt look you in the eye,
you, my family, are the control and the cause,
the cause of my pain was made by your flaws,
i love you dearly so this i shal say,
its not your fault, the pain must go away

All Bottled Up

Copyright Laura

I stand on a verge
I try to break free
but your always there
just pushing me
you complain when im gone
you complain when im there
when you see my skin
you do nothing but stare
im not your concern
please leave me alone
the only thing that helps
is to make it never shown
to hide whats there
tatooed on the skin
is to hide all the feelings
the ones kept within
so leave me alone
dont stare in disgust
its not you that should care
its not you that i trust.

Through my Eyes

Copyright Laura

No one sees,
so no one knows.
She hides in the trees,
she hides when it snows.
Looking for a place that no one will see,
So she can do it silently.
That once they saw they looked in disgust,
They said nothing betraying an invisible trust.
If they saw through her eyes the pain that they’d see,
Breaking the skin,underneath its just me.
The scars run deep,but the cuts are the worst,
Its never the last but never the first.

Black Hearts and Broken Hearts

Copyright Laura

Black is the heart of emptiness
that is carried into the night.
Wretched pain flames under
the stars hazy light,
until the black heart is broken
and tears of crimson dew
squeeze free from open wounds,
bleeding colour into sunrise.

Quench 9.17.00

Copyright Laura

Cutting you out of my life and bleeding you on to the floor.
Staining the ground with your intentions just to even the score.
It is all my fault this time — no need to say you were wrong.
The scabs will always speak for themselves, mind if they tag along?

I do not mean to cause you pain with this forked tongue of mine.
Is every thought inside your head that easy to define?
Or must you act out in other ways and plunge in to your skin
to release all the tension that you let fester within?

Blaming yourself for all the hurt inside of every man.
Stopping only to feel the pain and smile if you can.
Knowing this little secret hidden under your sleeve
and the levels of euphoria that so quickly are achieved.

What about the nausea that you feel when you are done?
That overwhelming feeling that finally you have won.
The victory is short lived because soon you feel the pain
as you lie in a puddle of blood and watch your pathetic life drain.

A Song for Cutting

Copyright Laura

Reflections of the Mirror

When I look into the mirror
I cannot see my reflection
And what I know is coming nearer
Is that I’ll lose all my affection

But as I touch the glass
It turns into the water
Rivers running fast
And emotions running high
Can you see my soul?
For I cannot remember
Please hear me out at last
Before I start to die

When I was on the other side
I saw what once was something I couldn’t see
Although the rocks crushed all my memories
I begin to see hope grow inside of me

Cause as I touch the glass
It turns into the water
Rivers running fast
And emotions running high
Can you see my soul?
For I cannot remember
Please hear me out at last
I don’t know if I wanna die

The waves crah down on me
And I can see eternity
Now my soul mayshine again

Cause as I touch the glass
It turns into the water
Rivers running fast
And emotions running high
Can you see my soul?
For I cannot remember
Please hear me out at last
I do not want to die
I do not
I do not
I do not want to die

 

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