Psyke.org

Lauren H

The Void

Copyright Lauren H

Just one more time and I’ll be fine,
Just one more cut and I’ll be able to sleep.
I can stop anytime I want.
But I don’t want to stop.
Not right now at least.
Maybe never.
Soon I’ll know my limit.
I’ll know how deep is too deep.
But until then I can just dig deeper until the void is full.
I know when I cut I will never be disappointed.
It makes me feel alive.
And I don’t ever want to stop.

Too Much Pain

Copyright Lauren H

She covers her arms and hopes no one notices.
Last night there was just too much pain,
She didn t know how to deal with it.
She glanced over and saw the blade.
The next thing she knew,
She was covered in her own blood crying out for someone to help her.
But no one came.
No one even knew who she was.
No one even cared.

Something to Think About

Copyright Lauren H

No one even thinks about the girl they make fun of.
They just do it because it makes them feel good.
But how do you think she feels?
You don’t think your hateful comments have an effect on her?
Maybe you should try walking a mile in her shoes,
Before you call her names.
Because you never know.
Maybe you re one of the reasons that gave her the courage to pull the trigger.

Cuts

Copyright Lauren H

They don’t care.
They think they know but they have no idea.
No one could ever understand.
she’s in so much pain she has to do that to herself.
It’s like she’s punishing herself for being born.
Someone found out and told.
Now the whole world knows her secret.
Everyone is acting like they care now.
But they don’t know that they re part of her agony.
It’s kinda funny.
They didn t even worry about their comments before.
And now everyone is holding their tongues around her.
But behind her back they call her psycho.
I guess they don’t know that she’s not deaf.
She doesn’t talk to anyone anymore.
Why waste her breath?
They re just going to judge her.
But soon they’ll be sorry.

Left With Nothing

Copyright Lauren H

He made her feel special.
Around him she felt beautiful.
she’s never felt beautiful.
She loved being around him.
He made her laugh like no one else could.
He was her drug, and she was addicted.
But soon she figured out his game.
There was another girl.
How could he?
He lied.
She cried.
He didn t care.
So she stopped caring too.
There was no reason to live.
He was her everything.
And then he left and she had nothing.
He changed.
He ignored her and made her feel worthless.
She wanted him to go back to his old self.
But everything changes, and nothing stays the same.
She thought she d never feel beautiful again.
But she’s never felt more beautiful
Then she does when she’s all alone covered in her blood.

Untitled

Copyright Lauren H

Reminders.
Souvenirs.
Scars.
Letting you know you fucked up.
You are a disappointment.
Addiction.
Habit.
Obsession.
You can stop anytime you want.
But it fills the worthlessness she feels inside.
All she wants to hear is that she’s beautiful.

Take This Blade

Copyright Lauren H

Take this blade and drag it across.
You are nothing.
The deeper you go,
The better you feel.
Take this blade and press it down.
You bleed so pretty.
Too bad you aren t.
Tell me I m beautiful.
Take this towel and make the bleeding stop.
You feel so alone.
No one knows where you are.
No one even cares.
You are the one that left me like this.

Accepted

Copyright Lauren H

Everyone stares as she slowly falls apart.
She tried being what they wanted,
She was a fake.
But they liked her.
She wasn t happy.
She stopped pretending.

They whispered behind her back.
She acted like it didn t bother her.
But it did.
All she wanted was to be accepted for herself.

All alone in her room she broke.
The silent tears mixed with her bloody fears.
She was tried remembering how it ended up like this.
She couldn t remember.
It had been going on for so long.

Guilty feelings led to the same routine as the night before.
Alone in the dark.
No one could hear her screaming for help.
All she wanted was for someone to understand.

Scars

Copyright Lauren H

It starts out with one small cut.
Then, you think: “Just one more time and I’ll be fine.”
Then you become addicted.
It’s like a drug.
You try to quit, but you can’t.
You feel guilty cause you know It’s bad.
But it makes you feel whole.
The next thing you know you re covered in scars.
Reminding you that you are a freak.
You hate them, but at the same time love them.
Each one tells a story
It’s like your own storybook of your life.
That only you can read.
The only thing is, you don’t know how the story ends.

 

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