what did i do to make you hate me?
i’m trying to find out who i am
and you leave. leave me alone
lost and confused. i’m not angry
and you hate me.
she holds the metal in her right hand
steady carefully she grips it tight
on her left arm she presses hard
a vicious cycle, it happens only at night
pushing down & side to side
red upon white & silver too
the pain goes away, emptiness now
each scar, each scratch however new
tells the story of her anger
sorrow & tears of blood-red.
wipe away the crimson flowing freely
wraps up silver & lays on down to bed.
sleeves pulled down, long pants on
no part of her may be seen
no remorse is anywhere to be found
to herself only is she mean
cause herself only this pain
temporary release from life.
but what you can’t see —
she wants to end it all with her knife.
bringer of death
sweet salvation found
silver blad cool & firm
between moist fingertips
bites through tan flesh
springing from within
red comfort pools above
rivers & ruts
traces of her pain
angry gashes next to deep slashes
marred flesh & broken feelings
twisted thoughts of cool metal
never ceasing till it’s done
biting into skin that once was smooth
for each hurt feeling & bad day
memories that last forever
are tatooed on her body
they’ll never go away
& she likes it that way…
Have You Ever
have you ever felt like you weren’t real?
have you ever had the sensation you were alone,
when you were in a room full of people?
have you ever felt like you were invisible?
melting into the floor?
have you ever felt like nothing mattered?
have you ever hated so much of who you are?
blinded by the hate you feel
melting into another world.