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Threads 1101 to 1150

THE FINAL GOODBYE TO YOU ALL!!
Posted by Nicke on Sat Mar 3 14:20:08 2001 (#4056)

I can't do this "living" thing any more. I went to the doctors and she promised me that I would feel something other than pain. Slowly but eventually I would get better. Well I told her that I didn't want to get better because whenever I get better, something always goes wrong and I end up right back where I started. Depressed, suicidal, Except always worse with more scars on my arms. Well I don't need another knock or bad experience to make me more depressed. I can do that all by myself. Since I started taking medication my sister has lost a baby, along with it my meaning to live. I had planned all my life out and then found out that I have to plan it all again. Well that is the easiest thing I have had to do. How do I want to spend the rest of my life. EASY!!! DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not meant to live so I will do what is only right. End the pain and suffering. I can't go without saying goodbye. You have all tried to help me and I am just a stupid cow that can't see that you are all trying to help me, but I will say thank you anyway. I hope you all don't end up being a quitter like me. I just can't fight a losing battle. I am just rambling now so I will say goodbye and good luck to you all from the bottom of my broken, twisted heart..............N..I..C..K. .E............................ ..........

Re: THE FINAL GOODBYE TO YOU ALL!!
Posted by da-da-dat grrrrl on Sat Mar 3 19:50:52 2001 (#4058)

um, could you try to be MORE dramatic? If you really wanted to go, you wouldn't have posted this, but I'll play along any way.

How much of a bitch r u dat grrrrl????
Posted by lost and lonly on Sat Mar 3 20:49:07 2001 (#4060)

how bitchy was that???

Nicke, if you read this before you do something stupid, STOP AND THINK. even if you think you are fighting a loosing battle, it has to get better someday. you should hold on to what presciouse things you have(like your sister and the rest of your family) and wait for the day everthing changes. believe me it will happen. it has to someday, if we were all ment to live shit lives then we wouldnt be here there has to be a bit of happiness for each of us, we just have to wait for it to reach us. And when it does it will be the best time of your life. Do you really want to leave this world when there might be the best day of your life just around the corner? PLEASE dont die now, i beg you, i may not know you very well but i can feel your pain and i want to take it all away from you, but you must help yourself and wait for the happiness.

if you leave then now then you wont get the chance to be here when world peace finnally happens, you dont want to stop yourself from seeing something that special do you??

PLEASE PLEASE DONT LEAVE THIS WORLD JUST YET HOLD ON TO LIFE JUST A LITTLE LONGER.

Hoping for you, Amanda

Re: How much of a bitch r u dat grrrrl????
Posted by Suzie on Sat Mar 3 22:01:27 2001 (#4067)

who the fudge dose she think she is? (dat grrrl) she has no right, shes just a spoiled little brat. , ok nicke, oh girl i know this is hard, ive walked the path a thousand times. i know it hurts sooo bad, oh girl. it will get better, and nothing will go wrong. you're just at a point in your life where everything seems wrong, but sweetie it will get better. oh i know how this freaking sucks. girl come here and talk. we will always be here, talking helps so much, it will help you, talking about your problems helps let you feel more free, feel better about yourself. it will help so much, so PLEASE email me , PLEASE! i will ALWAYS reply, always. plesae instant message me at phishvisor i will be there, all the time, i promis i will

Re: THE FINAL GOODBYE TO YOU ALL!!
Posted by blackrose on Sat Mar 3 20:46:42 2001 (#4059)

dont do ne thing stupid...I couldnt tell that my friends were tryin to help me and I just pushed them away...I have only 1 friend that's not afraid to call my house and it's only cuz she's depressed too...but she doesnt cut...things dont get better right away they take time...even my doctors said that it could take years or last almost my whole life...but things do get better...some faster than others! I hope u dont do ne thing "stupid" (and just bcuz u do something stupid doesnt mean that u r stupid) buh byes, Christine IM me if u wanna talk!

Re: THE FINAL GOODBYE TO YOU ALL!!
Posted by Jess on Sat Mar 3 21:22:52 2001 (#4064)

I Love You don't go.pleeeeaaasssssse. Smile.I was at work 2day nd wen i was walkin up the stairs ma trousers fell flat to the floor right in front of the whole restaurant. Ha Ha.

Re: THE FINAL GOODBYE TO YOU ALL!!
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 01:30:38 2001 (#4074)

NICKE, LISTEN TO ME, PLEASE! Don't do this, please!! Just live, try, please! You are meant to live, you are here on this earth for a reason, you deserve to live! Please, if you read this, let ua know how you are! Don't end your life before you have the chance to live it. We all care for you and worry about you, and if anything happened to you we'd miss you so bad! Don't DARE listen to da-da-dat grrrl! She doesn't give a damn about you, but I do, the rest of us do! Please Nicke, I'm pleading with you....

I love you and I'm praying for you, Colin

is this self-injury?
Posted by Axel on Sat Mar 3 15:55:18 2001 (#4057)

hi! is this self-injury? : a girlfriend of mine scratches her face with her fumbles. She said the reason is stress with her parents and at the beginning she threw something against the wall, but now she hurts herself.

how can I help her? What shell I do?

thanks axel

Re: is this self-injury?
Posted by lost and lonly on Sat Mar 3 21:01:35 2001 (#4062)

it sounds like this girl is self harming. self harm comes in many forms, like cutting, scratching, burning, breaking bones,hitting yourself ect.

If you want to help your friend one of the best things you can do is to be there for her, ask if she wants to talk but if she says no then dont try to force her. you can only help if she wants help. try seeing if she wants to come to this board to talk to some of us. We all have first hand experience with self harm and we would all be willing to help your friend. if she wants she can email me at babe2k2000@hotmail.com and you can email me there as well if you would like any more advice.

Good luck Amanda

Re: is this self-injury?
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 01:38:51 2001 (#4076)

I'm sorry to say it Axel, but it sounds like it to me. One thing that you DON'T want to do is critisize or be angy with her because of it. Let her know hat you care about her no matter what happens to her, and that you're there to love, not judge. If she has a computer or access to one, tell her about this site. It's helped me IMMENSLY.

love and prayers, Colin

to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by lost and lonly on Sat Mar 3 20:56:16 2001 (#4061)

Im sorry to be blunt but what r u, some kind of mega-bitch????? Here on this board we support each other not write nasty, sarkastic messages when someone is feeling suicidal. We all care about everyone here, and as you can never tell whether or not some one is seriouse about killing themselves we generally presume they are. So we SUPPORT them not try to make them feel worse by saying that they would not write a message if they were seriouse.

Now maybe im over reacting but i think you were well out of line when you said that to nicke. and i think if i were her and i had read your message when i was feeling down i proberbly would kill myself coz you would have made me feel soooo much worse. think about how you would feel next time you want to leave a nasty message, and try to think about how other people will view what you have said and how it will effect others.

Amanda

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by Jess on Sat Mar 3 21:28:56 2001 (#4065)

I agree with Amanda.That was so bad Nicke is so nice and you go and say summit like that to her.You definately know how to lose friends.

Jess

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by Suzie on Sat Mar 3 22:05:59 2001 (#4068)

i really think you should go walk a mile in her shoes. maby you have. maby you havent. but you should know how to be social respectful. i honestly think you should apologise. i know from person exsperince that words from strangers can hurt so much. trust me. it hurts, no matter if its good or bad. just imagin if you felt that way, thanks suzie

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by Rhiannon on Sat Mar 3 23:06:01 2001 (#4070)

Okay, I know I'm a lurker, but I know da-da-dat grrrl and let me tell you, she's gone through a Hell of a lot in her life. She doesn't sugarcoat anything. She's one strong person. The shit that's happened to her would break most people if they had to go through it. I don't know anyone here, really, so I can't say how serious anything is. That's not a judgement, just an observation. I just know that da-da-dat grrl and I have seen a lot of drama in our lives and we just tell it like it is. It's not to be intentionally mean, it's just an opinion. I'm sorry if opinions aren't allowed. That's my two cents if anyone cares.

Rhiannon

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by da-da-dat grrrrl on Sat Mar 3 23:09:19 2001 (#4071)

Well, actually.. yes, I am a mega-bitch.. thanks for noticing... on another note.. the only reason you people are getting pissed at me is because you know I'm right.. and it's killing you to realize that. I've probably been SI'ing longer than any of you.. and I KNOW that I've been on this board longer than any of you. That's the reason I left it. You people don't support eachother. The only thing you support is people wallowing in the euphoria of their SI.. and that's more than pathetic. This is board is nothing like it used to be. Read the back posts... like when "canada" was created... who do you think thought that up? *raises hand*... you people have noooooo idea, and that's why all of the long time members left here. Because this place doesn't feel real anymore. It's so one-dimensional that I can't even find one ounce of depth here. Now there are exceptions to this.. and for those people, I'm truly sorry. They don't deserve any of this.. but to the other people (and you know who you are, I don't think you want me calling you out by name) ~ I have no remorse for anything I say... and if you don't hear from Nicke.. it's only to be more dramatic so everyone will worry.. hate me if you will... but it's only because the truth hurts like hell... and I'm the only one who is willing to say it.

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:06:54 2001 (#4085)

possible what is so wrong is that you are here bragging to us. dose it matter who has been cutting longer? no, dose it matter who has been at this site longer? no. there is NO WAY that you can possible compare your exsperinces to nickies, or to some one else, because they all view their problems diffrently. and this site is made for what ever each person wants. a month ago you were here yelling at me b/c i said i thought something shouldnt be at this site (and i was wrong i admit it) and now you are here saying that what people post is wrong? i leanred the hard way, but people can post about what ever they want.

you left because you said you wanted to move on. but you really dont. all you do is come back and complain.

it dosent matter "how much you've been through" or how much shit you have gotten, it matters on how you respect people.

About Nicke
Posted by Nicke's Friend on Sun Mar 4 12:35:31 2001 (#4099)

Hello. I'm a good friend of Nicke's. I am not depressed because I have always got Nicke to talk to when I have problems. She is one of the best people I know and it hurts to hear so many nasty bitchy comments said about her. She hates attention seekers, because she is always helping people through their problems, she hates having her time wasted when it could be spent on helping someone else. So for someone to call her that is just down right awful because you don't know her. For all those out there who do care about Nicke, and there seems to be alot then I just thought I would post and let you know how she is doing. Last night she was found unconcious in her flat after taking alot of paracetamol.(they are not sure how many). She had cut her arms pretty badly too. I think she had to have stitchs. Nicke has no family to turn to because they disowned her. She says that this board is like her family because deep down she knows you care. We don't know if she is going to be alright but I for one am hoping that she is.

Claire

Re: to da-da-dat grrrl read this
Posted by lostand lonly on Sun Mar 4 16:59:39 2001 (#4101)

i started this and im about to finish it. Nicke is in hospital, so much for her overreacting she was crying out for help and that is what i want to do HELP people not to put them down. it fine to have a strong opinion, but you need to know how to express it and how to controll it. i dont care what you think of me or this board but the ppl here help each other and it does work as since i have been here they have made me realise that i dont need to SI and that i can stpo if i try hard enough. the ppl on this board have helped Colin to get through the relapse he had and now hes not cutting, and im sorry but if thats wronge to help othrs in this way then you should just shoot me coz that is the way i have always done it and it has always worked

FUCK da-da-dat-grrrl
Posted by Tara on Wed Mar 7 01:34:11 2001 (#4216)

Lisen here you fucking bitch.You don't tell people to just go ahead and kill their selves.That is just wrong.Ya so what if you have been here longer than any of us.This board has changed since the last time you were here.How would you like it if I told you to hurry up and die so I wouldn't have to lisen to you any more,I know that it would not make you happy.We are here to talk about our problems.If you don't like it than get the FUCK of this board now and don't come back until your aditude has changed.We don't need people like you in here.Is that clear enough for you miss bitch.I also don't care if you think that you are hot shit,because you know what,this might be a suprise to you,but there is no way in hell that you are.You post one more message like that and I will fucking find you sorry ass and set it straight.

TARA

to EVERYONE BUT da-da-dat-grrl
Posted by Tara on Wed Mar 7 01:44:31 2001 (#4219)

Sorry for the langage that I used in my last post.It just get me so mad to hear people that don't give a crap about other people to come on this board and say something like that.If that was me that she was talking to I would be so upset right now.Anyways I just wanted to apoligize for my anger and langage.

Love You All,

Tara

I'm sorry. Goodbye
Posted by Alana on Sat Mar 3 22:20:11 2001 (#4069)

Hey everyone. I'm sorry but I won't be able to come back here for awhile. I'm having a hard time with life, cutting in general and I have to start taking it all seriously. By coming here, i'm just stepping back. It has nothing to do with any of you, you have all helped me sooooo much. I love you all. I just need time. I will talk to you guys later! Love you all, stay strong, Alana

Re: I'm sorry. Goodbye
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 02:20:36 2001 (#4079)

I understand Alana. Everyone eventualy has to "move on down the road" (from the movie Easy Rider... anyhow..). I'm glad you're at that point, and I wish you the best. If you need us, we're right here. I'm not going to e-mail you about this, because I think that would be just like coming back to the board, but if you mail me I'll write back. So, I'll say good bye, and God bless.

love and prayers always, Colin

Re: I'm sorry. Goodbye
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:13:54 2001 (#4087)

good luck sweetie. good luck

suzie

hmmm
Posted by Alana on Sat Mar 3 23:46:10 2001 (#4072)

I think what you have to say is somewhat truthful. Somewhat....but I still don't think that you should come in here and say everything that you have. Just understand that for some these aren't just threats. Its life. So keep that in mind.

hi again....
Posted by lys on Sun Mar 4 00:11:17 2001 (#4073)

well, just thought I would drop in and say hi, I haven't been here in a while.... actually, I am just on a pass from the hospital now, I just came home to pick up a few things... well, just thought I would say that I am alive, and I should be home in a week or so, I hope!! lots of love, and take care all, lys

Re: hi again....
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 05:15:32 2001 (#4082)

Even though you won't be able to read this, I hope you're doing better, and I'm happy to hear you're alive. Hope to hear from yo uin a week!

love and prayers, Colin

Re: hi again....
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:18:17 2001 (#4088)

good job

Re: hi again.... again.....
Posted by lys on Mon Mar 5 00:27:32 2001 (#4113)

well, I am on another pass, so if you do respond to this one I won't be able to write back or read it for sure (I think).... But thanks though.... I don't think the dr. will let me on a pass this week again, because I have already cut up both of my arms, and they check when I get back for things like that.... oh well, it is my own bloody fault... but, as I always thought, if you are going to fuck up, my as well do it big!!! With that in mind, I may as well do my legs.... And to all the girls, a hint of advice: if you like shaving you legs, NEVER go into a hospitals psych ward.... or any mental hospital..... big no-no..... oh well... Just a question, my mom found this site and posted like a month ago... did anyone read it??? actually, only a few weeks ago.... I don't know what she put, but I would like to... she read everything I wrote though..... big oops..... And on the bright side, I am not coming home after I leave the hospital, I may be emancipated and put on some form of gov't support, or put into a group home.... I am looking more at the emancipation route.... anyways, I am blabbling on and on, and I should go, or I will be late for when my pass ends..... toodles!!! lys

Re: hi again....
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 05:15:46 2001 (#4083)

Even though you won't be able to read this, I hope you're doing better, and I'm happy to hear you're alive. Hope to hear from you in a week!

love and prayers, Colin

hey guys, i'm back
Posted by Sharon on Sun Mar 4 01:38:45 2001 (#4075)

hey everyone, here i am again (for those of you who don't know me, i used to come to this board, left a few weeks ago and here i am again) i cut myself last night, after going for two months without. i really thought i'd make it this time, but then all this stuff happened in one day and it kinda snowballed into this huge depressionistic muckball and i ended up cutting myself. i feel like crap, what's the point y'know? all i seem to do is make good reaolutions and then screw up. well, that's it.

-sharon

Re: hey guys, i'm back
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 01:45:53 2001 (#4077)

Oh Sharon, I'm so sorry. That doesn't mean the fight is over though! This is just a temporary set back, that's all. I'm really sorry, I am. It's good to have you back, but I wish it was under different circumstances.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: hey guys, i'm back
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:21:42 2001 (#4089)

haha girl, thats what resolutions are for. i think maby .005% of resolutions actually happen, so girl dont worry about them, they suck. but it will be ok, i promise

good luck

suzie

Alright, that's enough of this garbage!
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 02:12:04 2001 (#4078)

Ok, I have just read this whole "da-da-dat grrrrl" fiasco, and I am NOT happy. First off da-da-dat grrrrl, you say that you are angry that this board isn't "real" anymore. Just because it's not what you're used to doesn't mean that it's not real, OK? It's just different. Secondly, ths board is different now because the people are different! Things change, people change. The old-timers didn't leave because the board was changing, it's the other way around. The board changed because the old-timers left. I remember when you yourself left (yes, I know who you are), and you left because you decided to move on. But have you really moved on? It seems to me like all you're doing is complaining about a board that you don't need anymore and aren't interested in helping with. The reason this board is different now is because there are different people now. I expected this to happen, and I'm glad! If there was no change, then there would be no progress at all! People are all different and all need different things. Secondly, I think that your response to Nicke is the single most insensitive response I've ever read, and I've looked through all of this board's archives. Do you really want to help? Do you? Well, I'd suggest thinking about what other people need instead of youself.

after all that, I still love you and I'm still praying for you, Colin

Now that I've settled down
Posted by Srider on Sun Mar 4 05:07:30 2001 (#4081)

Now that I've settled down, I'm sorry. The way to respond is never with anger, so I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a jerk, but I was just upset. Once again, I apologize.

Re: Now that I've settled down
Posted by da-da-dat grrrrl on Sun Mar 4 06:07:10 2001 (#4086)

FIrst of all, I don't care if you know who I am or not. It doesn't bother me if I get flamed, so say what you will... at least when I post, this board comes alive.. and people are talking about something OTHER than SI.. yes, I know that it is an SI board... but c,mon... It can't be your entire life. And if you think that a lot of people on here aren't fake, then you know NOTHING about human life. The thing is that when you flame me, it doesn't bother me, but tomorrow, you will still be dwelling on the words that I've written.... and you will think about it.. then you will think about it more.. and you will begin to question your intentions too.. no, Colin.. that post was not directed at you... the people who it was for.. they know who they are.. so I don't have to mention their names.. and lastly... I know my God... I don't need your prayers... He and I talk on a regular basis.. so please scratch me off of your list of people to pray for and save. There are people on here that I care about, and I've never tried to do anything but help... but in order to do that... I need to be honest... and I'm not going to start lie just to save feelings around here. Anyone who knows me, knows that I would lay my life down for anyone in a heartbeat... but I am always going to be honest. If you want the truth, you come to me... and that's all I'm giving here, is the truth.. sometimes it's going to hurt... and other times, you will nod your head in agreement.. this is one of the times you don't agree with me.... but hey... there are a lot of people on this board that DO agree with me, but they don't want to be the one to say something.. and I know this because I've spoken with a lot of them... so just because I'm the only one with the testicular fortitude to admit it, doesn't mean that I'm the only one who feels this way.. maybe you should dwell on that thought for a while.

Re: Now that I've settled down
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:39:57 2001 (#4090)

a person who cuts cuts. it dosent matter why they cut, for the attention, for the pain, for the relief from the pain. beating down on someone b/c you dont think they are true is completly wrong. That is also completly insenceitive. and how could you be such a bitch to colin, who has replyed to your postes with are all the time. that is totally idiocicy. he helps anyone, through and through. there is no right to be a dick to him. why are you so hatefull. you act like you are the "true" cutter. when we are all the same, possible if you stoped the hatred maby you will feel better. you know what, people pick on other people to make them selves feel better. if you are so mature and so exsperinceds, you should know better than that, you should be able to grow up and past that. but you cant. well you act like you cant. and about the praying thing, you really need to be prayed for. honestly. im not trying to be a bitch here, because im not really mad, im just surprissed. your 27 or something and you act like you have the maturity of a 12 year old (sorry if anyone at this board is 12 or something) im just voicing my opions, and true, so are you, but there are times to hold back, i am extremly opionated, and i always hold back when the times are wrong, and you need to learn that. laura, you really need to learn that

Re: Now that I've settled down
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:46:56 2001 (#4092)

this was written by you about a month ago

What the hell is going on with us? Is it that time again? Time for everyone to have their lives dive even deeper in to hell?!?! Am I the only one who notices it? My God... That's it.. I can't take it anymore... I'm breaking the ice. Look, I love all of you.. you have ALL been there for me when I needed you.. I'm not giving up on any of you. So deal with it... We are all getting our asses to Canada.. we need to remember something good in our lives... DB, fran, yvonne, lost, MELISSA, nuni, marie, baleigh, blue rose, christine, neal, SImon, linda, tara, michael, sara, meg, kate, sharon, melissa, anka, ang, weeping willow, nytmyst, butterfly, beautiful and dying, heavenleigh, lost and lonely and strider and anyone else... Please.. we are all amazing people.. we are loved, we just don't know it.. we are too busy carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.. so we break constantly.. I've talked to many of you.. and I've been coming to this board for about 4 or 5 months now... I don't know what the fuck I would do without you guys... Lori, your poems.. beautiful..and your friendship, lost.. lol.. your stank humor,.. nuni.. your kindness,.. fran.. gosh.. what can i say? you are wonderful, Yvonne.. your encouragement,... linda... your guidance,.. marie.. your sweetness,... neal.. you.. just all of you... sheesh.. the list goes on and on... I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! Please... find that one thing to keep you wading through all of this crap.. we will all come out clean on the other end one day... Remember when I tried to take myself out? I slashed my throat... you guys were here for me... I came back to a ton of emails.. some of you even talked to my mother (grr... moms)... I never expected anyone to give a damn... but why didn't I? I would have done the same thing for any one of you.. You all know that I'm not the happiest person in the world.. but someone here has to try to hold all of us together.. and I'm not letting any of you go... and if you do.. damnit, I'll fucking jump too... So don't do it. C'mon guys.. let's get our arses to that house in Canada... Can we please think of something good right now? Let's see... I'm thankful for my son.. and my friends.. and family.. and for a God that seems to be letting me in a bit.. and my counselor, who has been there for me... and right at this very second.. i'm actually thankful for my life... =) I love you guys.. be well and stay safe

*hugs* ~laura

what happend ~ ? where did that laura go? bring her back because this new laura sucks

This is the last you'll hear about it from me.
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 06:40:29 2001 (#4091)

You know, this is the way fights start on this board. All I know is that people who come here sometimes just want someone to listen to them, because no body else will. All I care about is helping people, not hurting. So, I won't be dwelling on anything you say, because there's no room in my mind to hold anger that I don't need.

love and prayers, Colin

to: suzie
Posted by the girl you call bitch on Sun Mar 4 06:48:45 2001 (#4093)

Please, hun... if you are going to keep posting... please, please PLEASE learn to spell. I can't read your ranting posts directed towards me if all the words in it are spelled wrong... my level of intelligence won't permit it.

Re: to: suzie
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:49:53 2001 (#4094)

hi LAURA!

No judgements please
Posted by me on Mon Mar 5 07:03:14 2001 (#4140)

i don't think that last comment was necessary... this whole thing is getting childish.

people have forgotten the point of the board... it's a place we come where we DON'T GET JUDGED!!! You may all have opinions about issues, but you don't make them personal. We are all here to help each other and ourselves, and this fight isn't doing anything for anyone.

Re: to: suzie
Posted by Weazle on Mon Mar 5 20:05:56 2001 (#4158)

I've been observing this entire argument, and i'd just like to say can't everybody just forget this? da-da-dat girl, yeah you were out of order in my point of view aswell but hey, why let her get to you all so much? when people say things that aren't worthwhile you just gotta do your best to ignore it. i know when people say things that get to you it hurts but by retaliating your giving somebody like her what she wants which is a bad reaction. just ignore her. forget about it, dont even reply to her messages until she has something worthwhile to say. da-da-dat girl, you say "it cant be your entire life" well for some people, it is. you say so many people on here are fakers and maybe some people are but it isnt up to you to "guess" whose faking. because you'll only end up hurting somebody. Why do you think "tomorrow we will still be thinking about it"? because im certainly not. people who aren't worth my time are definitely not worth remembering. the only people i do think of are people who ARE worth others time and care for example Colin, lost and lonly, beautiful and dying, and almost everybody here including Nicke, although ive never spoken to most i read almost every message if not all, i see what you all to each other. Maybe Nicke is a faker, i dotn know. i for one do beleive she's genuine but i'm not gonna accuse her either way because its not my place to make that risk, and i think you need to learn that too da-da-dat grrrl. and i think on this matter were all being pretty immature. I'd just like to add i had a lot more respect for your having your own opinion da-da-dat grrrl before you started being insultive because thats where it starts to get ubelievably petty. We know your level of intelligence wont permit you to read it with slight spelling mistakes because your intelligence level is too low. it doesnt take all the brains in the world to read it and work out what she means. If a half blind retard like me can read it i dont want to even imagine what problems you have girlie.

Weazle

Love and care to y'all, even da-da-dat grrrl.

xxxxx

ok
Posted by s.a.r.a on Sun Mar 4 04:23:13 2001 (#4080)

i've been reading the messages around here since canada started (actually it was right after i got back from there) but never really posted, maybe once.i must say that i am one who is completely against ranting or venting, i like helping. but you see a good friend of mine at college found how a few months ago about me and i am quite worried about her. i mean she was quite supportive and caring, but i just have this feeling that something is going on. i don't know what it is, but you know those feelings you get when you just know something is going to happen (i don't know if that made since, i am rambling quite a lot, though). but i don't want help for me, but for her. she and i had like a 5 hour talk when she was home from break, and i don't know... when people found out that you self-injure, what did you do? sara

Re: ok
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 06:05:07 2001 (#4084)

Hm. I think I do know that you mean. That feeling of impending doom. When people found out that I cut myself, I at first told them that I didn't want thier help, but then I was honest with them, and people tried to help. All I can say is keep talking to her, but ask how she's doing as well.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: ok
Posted by Sharon on Sun Mar 4 21:42:22 2001 (#4109)

sorry everything's kinda being turned upside down with you. i find that there are usually three types of responses when ppl find out that i si. one is where they are so freaked that they start treating me all weird, the second is where they pretend it doesn't happen, the third is where they try to help. i'm pretty sure everyone likes the helping best. just be honest and real with your friend, if you feel like crap, say so, my biggest problem is being a perfectionist and wanting everyone to be happy around me. well, sorry to make you read this neverending story, hope everything works out for you.

hugs,

sharon

ps
Posted by da-da-dat grrrrl on Sun Mar 4 06:50:25 2001 (#4095)

I'm leaving this board for good now... so um.. if you want to flame me.. I'm sorry, but I won't be reading any of the flames. But if it makes you feel better to get it all out, and have someone other than yourself to hate, go right ahead.

Re: ps
Posted by Ignorance is Bliss on Sun Mar 4 06:51:33 2001 (#4096)

you'll be back

Re: ps
Posted by Kate on Sun Mar 4 21:23:54 2001 (#4107)

Before you go. I know who you are and I agree with you 100%. YOur right, people should start trying to get help and stop whining. We are so much older and we have been through alot. I don't mean to be a bitch to you guys but you'll realize it is time to stop this bullshit and get help. YOu have to want to get help. Anyway I am just visiting so good luck.

Re: ps
Posted by lost and lonly on Sun Mar 4 21:55:05 2001 (#4111)

You may be older but there are some of us that arent ok?? im only 14,i find telling people that i SI very hard and i have never had the guts to go to a doctor or to ask for therepy. I have always been careful so that i dont get caught cutting coz if i did then i would be sooo scared. So i came here to get help and do you know what??????? i found it, the ppl here are great and i have hardly ever cut now, i think this is something that should not be mocked and if im wrong then i must be stupid! Amanda

now that im thinking about this all
Posted by Suzie on Sun Mar 4 06:58:13 2001 (#4097)

now that i have been thinking about this whole situation, and been talking to a good friend about it i was wrong to reply to the situation with laura (da da dat grrl) post. i think that it was great that we stood up for nicki, but i think that it was wrong for me to say anything. and i would hate it that this site would turn into another world war three site. that would totally not be cool, so im saying sorry for my past posts, and if i offended anyone i am sorry, it was not my place to speak.

good night

suzie

Cheze2????
Posted by Strider on Sun Mar 4 08:24:03 2001 (#4098)

Does anyone have any news on her? The last I remember she was going for a hospital admittance. I guess she got in, but does anyone know for sure? I'd like some info, if possible.

love and prayers, Colin

questions
Posted by kathleen on Sun Mar 4 13:41:44 2001 (#4100)

all of you seem to notice that self harm is unhealthy but what about the good side? self harm provides you with a (tempory) solution to your problem if it didn't why would people do it? secondly, what right does people have to call us freaks? thirdly, why does my mom refuse to recognise my self abuse?

love kate

ps; ofcourse i dont want people to hurt themselves but when everything else fails...

Re: questions
Posted by gnimia on Sun Mar 4 20:29:44 2001 (#4104)

Thank you. it often surprises me that the people who write on this board rely so much on SI, but cant acknoledge the small amount of good it may do them.

You wont know me cos i only found this board last week, but i live in England and ive been cutting for six years. since i8 accepted that when i do cut it helps me, ive cut a lot less often. though now isnt exactly the best example.

We are not freaks. we just choose to deal with our freakishness in differnent ways to others. Mothers dont like to accept self harm cos it makes them feeel theyve let you down. fucked you up in some way. at least you recognise it. xx gnimia

Re: questions
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:47:20 2001 (#4122)

i totally agree with you. being i know si has delt me a fair bit of crap, but it has also helped me so much more. I know my self, i know my limits. si has helped me meet some of the nicest people alive, and it has helped me discover who i am. with si i have become strong.

Re: questions
Posted by lostand lonly on Sun Mar 4 21:46:33 2001 (#4110)

I think deep down i know that SI helps me but I think that is why I am so afraid of it, i know that because it helps i might not be able to stop if i go on. and because i also know the negative sides of it i try not to thikn about how good it feels at the time and i try to think about how i feel afterwards and how my friends feel about me hurting myself( this may not be how you think its just my view)

And NO-ONE no matter who they are or think they are has the right to tell you, you are a freak because you are NOT one OK???????!!?? As for youe mum im not sure why she doesnt recognise you self abuse but i know my mum doesnt understand either, and the onnly way i can think of to get around it is by not telling her about it unless she asks, if i need help i turn to my friends not to her. Dont get me wrong i would LOVE to be able to talk to my mum and i would LOVE to be close to hre but i dont think it will happen. This may well be different for you and your mum so try to talk to her, try telling her how you feel.

Good luck Amanda

Re: questions
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 00:47:12 2001 (#4115)

Actually Kathlene, you do have some good point. I definaely think that SI is better than any sort of drug use. As long as the damage isnt too severe (burns that arent third degree, cuts that don't enter mucsle tissue) there's no real long term down falls like there are with drinking or drugs. BUT! It would be much better to not have to rely on any sort of self destrucing activity. But if you end up doing something, I think that you're better off doing SI. As for your second question, they have NO RIGHT! To me, cutting my arms was just the normal way to deal with extreme emotions, so to me, THEY were the freaks! As for your mom, I think that she just doesn't want to deal with the idea that not everything in her life is picture-perfect, including you. Not to say bad about your mom, it's just one of the ways people deal with things, that's all. and don't worry, I don't think that anyone on this board thought that you wanted people to hurt themselvs. People here are amazingly understanding.

love and prayers, Colin

One last thing
Posted by Alana on Sun Mar 4 18:02:31 2001 (#4102)

Do you guys think that piercing is a form of self injury. I got my third yesterday, and I want so many more. Is this a bad thing?

Re: One last thing
Posted by Jess on Sun Mar 4 21:00:39 2001 (#4105)

Thats body modification in't it? i suppose if you do it for the pain it is but if you want the look then it isn't.I don't really know it go's by opinion

Re: One last thing
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 01:01:06 2001 (#4116)

Hmm. That's something that's really specifis to the person. If you're doing it as an ornamental thing, then I'd say no. But, if you're doing it for the pain of the piercing, then I'd have to say yes. It all depends on why you're doing it.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: One last thing
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:50:32 2001 (#4123)

pircing can be viewed in diffrent ways, yes it is self mutilation. but people do it for beauty, and it is commonly accepted. doing it for looks isnt called self mutilation, when it is, but if you do it for the pain it is more likely self mutilation. it all depends on your view of the subject

suzie

stuff
Posted by none on Sun Mar 4 19:47:44 2001 (#4103)

She lays in a field. Everything black and grey. It's raining silver drops of ice. People come and circle her. Scratch their heads and wonder what kind of evil possessed her. Her lips are slightly parted and her body cold. They wonder what was wrong with her. They leave still confused about her twisted behavior. She rises and smiles because they think it's over. Not at all. She walks away from the field and her black gown flows behind her and fills the sky. She has some work to do.

Re: stuff
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:51:59 2001 (#4124)

nice

WOW
Posted by Jess on Sun Mar 4 21:02:48 2001 (#4106)

I just read everything since i last posted and wow.WOW WOW WOW.It's brill here and i wouldnt change it for the world.I'm lucky to have found this board

Re: WOW
Posted by strider on Mon Mar 5 01:04:42 2001 (#4117)

Well, I'm glad that you're here with us, Jess.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: WOW
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:53:13 2001 (#4125)

we all are.

I have a feeling that I over-reacted..Sorry!
Posted by lost and lonly on Sun Mar 4 21:35:27 2001 (#4108)

I think when I left that message to da-da-dat grrrl I was just letting out all the anger inside, and i dont think i should have done that. I know it right to have an opinion but I should have controlled my feeling a bit more. I was just so angry and upset and worried about nicke, that I didnt think. This silly argument about that one post needs to be forgotten and we need to think about what is the main issue here and thats nicke. If any one here knows how she is could they let me know coz I'm really worried about her, I read the post from her friend but I was wondering if anyone had any moe news???

Oh and if da-da-dat grrrrl reads this then im sorry for starting this big stress-out over one post, i was thinking with my heart and not my head. Again I apolagize and you dont have to accept it and you dont have to care but I wanted to tell you I was sorry.

Amanda

Re: I have a feeling that I over-reacted..Sorry!
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:56:17 2001 (#4126)

we all get mad, and we all over react. but the immaturity is wiped away when people say they are sorry, that they are wrong. thats mature. so we do apologise for yelling at you laura, and judging you. we were wrong. thank you

suzie

happy b-day to me
Posted by Ang on Mon Mar 5 00:09:59 2001 (#4112)

hi its march 4th and itsmy b-day

Re: happy b-day to me
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 01:18:26 2001 (#4118)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!

love and prayers, Colin

Re: happy b-day to me
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 03:57:24 2001 (#4127)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: happy b-day to me
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 05:58:40 2001 (#4136)

Happy birthday and cake and ice cream! (I'm a bit late - but it's one minute before midnight here and therefore still your birthday.)

Re: happy b-day to me
Posted by Someone on Mon Mar 5 18:08:08 2001 (#4144)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (better late then never)

Re: happy b-day to me
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:09:43 2001 (#4173)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY...it's the closest I could come to yellin it hehehe! Have fun! Christine

oh shitty.....
Posted by lys on Mon Mar 5 00:34:05 2001 (#4114)

I just read (i searched and found it) the msg that my mom wrote.... you know what she told me??? that I was stupid. That this was stupid.... and she asked me how i could do this to her and HER family. Fucking hypocrite bitch.... anyways, just thought I would say that..... bye

Re: oh shitty.....
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 01:24:24 2001 (#4119)

Ohhhh, man. I think that's about the worst response a parent can have to this! Usually though, it's because she just freaked out. I hope so, otherwise she really is selfish, and that would really suck.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: oh shitty.....
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 04:02:27 2001 (#4128)

i understand. you moms just afraid. she dosent understand, and shes scared. this has never happened to her, and so she has never had to deal with it. responding that why is the only way she knows how to deal with it. you have to help her, shes scared, probably more than you are, and she dosent understand. help her understand

Re: oh shitty.....
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:14:15 2001 (#4175)

u r not stupid...I can understand exactly y she'd react like that...both my parents did and made fun of me! And remind her that ur also a part or HER family...she probly just freaked out and ur mom is for a fact not the on self centered and selfish person for saying that...that's what my mom told me too! Christine

To my dear Nicke
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 01:36:32 2001 (#4120)

Nicke, when you can read this, I want to say that you feel like family to me as well. I now have no friends around too, and my family is no where near me either. This board has become a home to me, and I want you to please, when you feel up to it, post and tell us how you're doing. I've never for an instant thought that you were anything less than completely scincere in everything you've said to us. I'll be praying for your recovery Nicke. I really hope that you'll be OK Nicke. We're all here for you.

I love you and I'm praying for you, Colin

Oh, and in case you missed it...
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 01:56:27 2001 (#4121)

To anyone who may have missed it in the myriad of posts, Nicke is in the hospital. There's a post up there from Claire, a friend of hers. Oh, and to da-da-dat grrrl, I hope you're happy.

I love you and I'm praying for you Nicke!, Colin

oh girl... nicke honey.
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 04:07:48 2001 (#4129)

oh girl, nicke honey. i hope you are doing well, we are all so scared for you. really, we're worried. i know you are so scared right now. just know, we all care for you. ANYONE THAT CAN POSSIBLE GET INTOUCH WITH NICKE PLEASE TELL HER THAT WE ARE ALL PRAYING FOR HER, THAT WE'RE WORRIED AND WE ARE SO SCARED, AND THAT WE ALL LOVE HER. WE WISH HER THE BEST.nicke, if there is any way you can ever read this. please know you are so sweet, and so kind, and we all love you. ..... we are so worried. oh please be ok, oh please......

God bless

suzie

Re: oh girl... nicke honey.
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:18:16 2001 (#4176)

I hope soo much for u to be better Nicke. I'll be praying for you! this place is like my second home...I hope u get better! Christine Christine

Happy
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 04:27:13 2001 (#4130)

you know what i relized today. i am happy. truly happy. i got to spend all day with the people i love. and i havent really felt like this is a while, and its such a good feeling that i thought i would share it with you. its amazing. thanks for listening,

suzie

Re: Happy
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 05:37:51 2001 (#4133)

You know Suzie, knowing that makes mefeel alot better, and I haven't been feeling all that great lately. Thanks for sharing it.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: Happy
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 06:00:21 2001 (#4137)

That's great!

Here's to a hopefully good tomorrow.

tracking members
Posted by Deanna Olson on Mon Mar 5 05:27:43 2001 (#4131)

I've been tracking the people that come to this board on a regular basis. I mostly just hang in the shadows, but I thought I would come out to inform this list of something. I would be willing to bet that Nicke is doing okay. She has visited this site many times in the past few days. I'm not saying that what was said was nice or fair, but I do know the facts that are here before me. So Nicke, when you read this, you may want to let them know that you are doing okay. Or at least that you are able to get online, but you have not been posting.

Thank you for listening. Good luck to you all.

Sincerely, Deanna

Re: tracking members
Posted by Rhiannon on Mon Mar 5 05:51:38 2001 (#4134)

how do you track people? just curious.

Re: tracking members
Posted by Alana on Mon Mar 5 05:56:33 2001 (#4135)

Can't you all just leave her alone. Please, do yourselves a favour and stop trying to act better than everyone else.

Re: tracking members
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 06:27:49 2001 (#4139)

Tracking people eh? How is that done exactly? I don't know much about computers, so I was wondering. Also, about Nicke, it could be her friend, Claire, coming here to check on things using Nicke's computer. I say this because I'm not the only one that uses the computer in this house (my friend, his sister, his parents). It was very nice of you to break your scilence and come forward in order to let us know about Nicke. You gave up your anonymous lurking to tell us about her, so thanks.

love and prayers, Colin

p.s. don't be shy, post some time

Just to break things up...
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 05:32:31 2001 (#4132)

Has anyone ever seen the movie "Evil Dead"? It was made in the early eighties and stars a young Bruce Campbell. It's directed by the amazing Sam Raimi. It's ahorror movie unlike any other. It is quite possibly the best direction in a film that I have EVER seen! Definately check it out. The camera angles and lighting are absolutely stunning! I know this has nothing to do with anything, but just to break things up, you know? Warning though! It's VERY greusome! There's something about the film quality and style that make it VERY blood currdeling. Oh well, enjoy!

love and prayers, Colin

Re: Just to break things up...
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 19:38:38 2001 (#4149)

horror movies?? those rock! thanks!

I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 06:13:15 2001 (#4138)

I just wanted to tell everybody that in July I will be leaving this board for good. That's when I go off to the army. I probably won't be able to post at all after that because I won't have the opportunity to. I'll be so busy with everything that I'll have no chance. Actually, I might be leaving this board at the end of March if I get the job I want. I'll have to move, so even if I can post on the board, it won't be for a while after I go there. I just wanted to tell you all a while before it happened. I want you all to know that no matter what happens, no matter where I go or what I do, I will never forget all of you on this board. My love and prayers will be with you always. *sniff* ok, ok, so it is a little ways away, but it's still hard for me, alright? *wipes tears from his eyes*

love and prayers, Colin

Re: I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by Maggie on Mon Mar 5 11:38:24 2001 (#4141)

Oh Colin! We are gonna miss you soooo much too. And we will never forget how much you have done for us. But you gotta do what you gotta do right.

Re: I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by Someone on Mon Mar 5 18:22:30 2001 (#4146)

Collin dear! I'm gonna miss you, you did so much for me and for other people! thanks to you I didn't cut myself for 3 days now, I hope I can say its forever! always love you!! *snif* Lots of love !! vicky!

Re: I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 19:40:52 2001 (#4151)

sniff sniff, you know what im going to say, so ill leave that between us. good luck in march

I'll miss you, but good luck.
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Mon Mar 5 19:40:48 2001 (#4150)

I wish you the best luck when you leave (even though i wish you werent going!) please try to post whenever you can, but if you cant then we will just assume you are too busy. I hope you have a great time in your life. I know you are not going yet but I wanted to say good bye now coz then i know you will read it, as the time difference means that i might miss when you actually leave. I know what ill miss most about you, your great way of making me see that there is a good side to things even to me! So this is for when you leave: GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK! *she waves good bye* Love and Hope Amanda

Re: I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:28:25 2001 (#4177)

Colin, I'm gonna miss u sooo much,*sniff sniff*! I wish u didnt have to go...if u even get the slightest chance please post and tell us how u r! Goodluck in March and dont forget us when u leave! I wont forget u! Christine

Re: I wanted to mention it before it came to pass
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 23:43:58 2001 (#4180)

*Sigh* Well, all I can really do is add my voice to those that have already spoken. I would put in some witty or poignant quote, but I can't think of one.

As I might not be around when you leave (on vacation, away from the computer, etc) I'll say "Good luck" to you now.

Byebye
Posted by Maggie on Mon Mar 5 12:01:21 2001 (#4142)

Dear Everyone

Even though most of you don't know me, I just thought I'd say goodbye. I have been posting here over the last 4-5 months, but I wont be coming back.

Basically there's nothing that I can say to you to make things better, that somebody else can't say. And even though you guys offer great advice and support, I have to sort myself out alone.

I hope someday that your lives will improve enough so that you don't have to resort to cutting. You guys are the most courageous group of people I have ever come across, and I know you have it in you somewhere to overcome this.

I will miss ya all muchly. Love always, Maggie.

Re: Byebye
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 19:42:25 2001 (#4152)

good luck. . thank you and good luck

Re: Byebye
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Mon Mar 5 19:44:14 2001 (#4153)

I know i dont know you but i will miss you as i have noticed you around. I wish you werent going as i would have like to be able to help more but if you feel you must go it alone then i want to wish you the very best luck and i hope you can find true happiness and love in your life. Godd bye and good luck Love and hope Amanda

Re: Byebye
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 21:13:03 2001 (#4161)

It's sad to see you go Maggie, but I'm happy that you want to sort things out in your life. We all have to move on one day. I'll nevar forget you and I hope and pray that you'll be alright.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: Byebye
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:32:46 2001 (#4178)

Maggie, even though I dont know u very well I will miss u! I know u said u need to sort things out urself but if u ever need someone to talk to I'll always be there! my sn is twistedpsycho13@aol.com (dont let the name throw u off) K? buh byes, Christine

Re: Byebye
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 23:45:09 2001 (#4181)

I hope the sorting yourself out alone works. Good luck.

Any ideas ?
Posted by SunRay on Mon Mar 5 15:44:24 2001 (#4143)

Hello everyone

I'm new to this board and was wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions.

Just a brief outline, I am being treated for depression with Efexor (150mg), I also suffer from an Eating disorder, and I have been cutting for the last 6 months.

My question is if anyone knows of a product that helps scars to disappear?

I am really panicing because the closer it gets to summer the less I can get away with wearing long sleeves. I have tried make-up but this doesn't seem to be very effective. I have stopped the cutting - hopefully it will be permanent, but no one knows apart from my doctor and one of my friends, I would like to keep it that way.

If anyone has any suggestions I would really appreciate them.

Thank you Sunray SunBeam2001@ivillage.co.uk

Re: Any ideas ?
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 19:44:31 2001 (#4154)

scars dont go away. they say there is this "mirical drug" that helps but its fake. scars are a permanet reminder of your past. The best thing to do it to put aloe on them to help them become less visable, but im sharing your pain there with you. well girl, good luck

Re: Any ideas ?
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Mon Mar 5 19:49:17 2001 (#4155)

I wish there was a miricle that got rid of scars but i havent found one! they are a part of you forever and they are not something to be ashamed of i think. i am not ashamed of mine, i bear them with pride(well not quite pride if ya know what i mean) but i wont try to hide them, i wear what i want and if people stare then they get an earful of abuse(not always from me, sometimes my mates do it for me!!!) So my only advise is try not to think about them and to get on with life. Love and hope Amanda

Re: Any ideas ?
Posted by gnimia on Mon Mar 5 20:24:19 2001 (#4160)

they are right. dont be too ashamed of your scars, and they will stay with you. but i have heard that Vitamin E cream sort of helps scars heal. its not miraculous, and i havent tried it so i say this with extreme caution. but it may help you. congrats on giving up. hope things are okay. xx

Re: Any ideas ?
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 21:26:12 2001 (#4162)

I don't know of any product, but I do know that swimming in chlorinated water (like in a swimming pool) does wonders as long as you do it regularly (like once or twice a week), so do thsat if possible. I hope that the cutting has stopped for ever for you. I'm trying the same thing myself.

love and prayers, Colin

LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
Posted by Nicke's Friend on Mon Mar 5 19:17:44 2001 (#4147)

Listen for all you people out there who just can't leave Nicke alone I have some information for you. Nicke and I both live in a place called a Foyer. It is a semi-independant unit for 16-25 year olds. Which is basically like a hostel but more independant. The place has an I.T. suite which is open to the public from 9am until 5pm and sometimes until 9pm. Also it is open to the residents (there are 33) most of the time. So if you know so much then answer to that. Nicke should be out of the hospital tomorrow and if I were her I don't think I would want to come back to this board after all the comments said about her. From what I can tell all she did was post about her fellings and it has caused a full scale row. Even now people can't leave her alone. It seems that some people are out to prove that Nicke is lying. I wonder how many people are doubting Nicke now or how many will doubt her in the future. I don't think that is very fair now. People will not trust her when trust and friendship is what she needs at this low point in her life. I apoligise for my rudeness, but Nicke does not need this right now.

Claire.

P.S. I apoligise for those who have been supportive of her.

Re: LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 19:52:06 2001 (#4156)

girl its ok. most of us care so much about nicke. there are people out there, bad people, who pollute the world. i dont waste my time thinking about them anymore. they are too sorry. and they need to learn about themselfs befor they try to attempt to "give their advice". I dont know what condition nicke is in. but if you feel it is right, tell her im pulling for her. tell her im praying for her. tell her we all care for her soo much. oh gosh, please let her be ok and get better, .........

suzie

Re: LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 5 21:34:22 2001 (#4164)

I know now why I left. all you guys do is fight. I came back because to see how Fran and Collin were doing. I also was concerned about Nicke. Laura is not a bad person. She is a very selfless good person. I know you are talking about her when you said that. I have had enough. NO wonder everyone is leaving. I think suzie you and Laura should work it out because something went wrong with your friendship. I care about and love all of you.

Kate

Re: LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 21:33:16 2001 (#4163)

All I can say is that I hope Nicke is OK. I always believed her. I just hope she'll be OK. I won't bother her anymore, but just let her know that there are people here that care about her, and I'm one of them. Tell her that I love her and I'm praying for her.

Colin Marlow

Re: LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:41:08 2001 (#4179)

I do not think that Nicke is lying or ne thing like that...I wish soo bad that she is OK! I will try to be as supportive as I can and will never crisize ne one for their actions! I hope she comes back bcuz none of the comments I said were against her and I dont know her that much at all but I miss her! tell her I'm praying for her if u read the message! thankyou! buh byes! Christine

Claire, please read this.
Posted by lost and lonly on Mon Mar 5 19:33:58 2001 (#4148)

You must realize claire that most of the ppl here love nicke as if she were our family, read the posts left by Strider, suzie and many others. there are a few ppl here that have different opinions about nicke but most of us are worried about her and we are praying for her to get better. If nicke doesnt come back here then i know she will be greatly missed, as we all care for her sooo much. when you see nicke could you please tell her we (mostly all of us) are hoping and praying for her to get better soon. I know that so many of us here DO trust her and I value her friendship and opinions, many others do as well. There are just a few people who view things very differently and dont see things how we do. THis is not their fault entirly so we cannot really blame them(although i would love to!!!!) it is not our place to tell them how they should think, so all we can do is try not to let their harsh views affect us too much.

Love and hope Amanda

Re: Claire, please read this.
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 5 21:40:52 2001 (#4165)

Hi Claire, you don't know me. My name is Kate. I used to post here but I quit cutting also people were fighting too much as you probablly noticed. I feel awful about Nicke and I believed her. YOu should never doubt people being suicidal. But I know the girl that posted "dat girl" and she is a good person. I think she feels there are some people on the board who don't help eachother. Know it's not me but I can relate in some ways to her and to you. There may be some horrible people in the world but here. Give Nicke my love.

Take care.

My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by lost and lonly on Mon Mar 5 19:53:41 2001 (#4157)

maybe just maybe i might be getting back on track in my life. the fog is clearing and i can see where im going, at last! i am now dating a guy i have liked for sometime, i met him 4 years ago and i have always had a soft spot 4 him. and we finally got it together. my mum has started a new job, which she is happy about so she is not always stressed. (so she doesnt shout as much) and things are just starting to look up. i just hope it lasts. Love and hope Amanda

Re: My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 20:23:28 2001 (#4159)

that is SOO great, dosent it feel good to have that feeling. it feels like a high (im onlt guesse on that one there, but it feels the way a high would, i guesse... ok ill shut up now, im making no sence) BUT ANYWAYS it feels great, like heavon on earth. you go girl im so happy that its happeing now to you. :) byebye

suzie

Re: My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 5 21:45:19 2001 (#4166)

I am sorry I was rude about your age. I know you guys are hurting. I am glad you are doing better and I hope Nicke is okay. I will be visiting every so often just to see how you guys are doing. I left some friends behind like Colin and Fran. Good Luck.

Kate

Re: My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by Strider on Mon Mar 5 21:57:52 2001 (#4167)

Wow! I hope that things stay like this for you L&L!

love and prayers, Colin

Re: My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 23:46:01 2001 (#4182)

I hope so too. It sounds wonderful.

Re: My life may be on the up....well i hope so!
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:46:07 2001 (#4183)

I'm glad to here that ur life is on the up side and I hope everything is better for u! I hope that ur relationship w/ur bf works out! I hope it all lasts for u! Christine

Kate
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Mon Mar 5 22:25:35 2001 (#4168)

Thank you for the apolagie and it is accepted and the whole thing forgotten. you proberbly didnt know anything about me so it wasnt really your fault and so i cant really hold it against you can i!?! Love and hope Amanda

Re: Kate
Posted by Kate on Mon Mar 5 22:54:01 2001 (#4170)

Thanks sweetie. Good luck!

Love ya, kate

'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 22:38:45 2001 (#4169)

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhh hhhhhhhhh!

I don't get it. I was going to do it. I put on my best sweater, brushed my hair, got all dressed up, walked into Counciling Services, and asked to get any appointment.

And they were all booked up for the next three weeks.

I'm not making an appointment a month ahead of time. I'd never keep it.

I was really going to do it. I was shaking nervous. It took me fifteen minutes standing outside the door, walking away, coming back, walking around some more, but as soon as I opened that door and stepped inside, I felt happy. I was doing it. I was refusing to give up on myself as I had so many times in the past.

So much for that. I doubt I'll ever be in such a receptive mood again. It was just a combination of events that gave me the courage, the impetus, and the despiration.

I have too much work now, not enough time, and I just got my midterm grades.

I'm falling now, I don't care anymore. God, what do you want out of me?

This has been a horrid day. I'm sorry for taking up your time, but I am more upset at this frustration than I have ever been.

I went there to find a purpose to my existence. I still don't have one. Maybe there isn't one. I'm not asking anymore.

Re: 'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 23:07:13 2001 (#4172)

sweetie, you gotta keep trying, just keep dong it. try a different place. BUT KEEP TRYING. you've got to do it. its the only way. jsut try. you did more today than i could ever do in my life. i am jelous.

Re: 'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Mon Mar 5 23:54:06 2001 (#4186)

Thanks. I wish I could promise I would. Since I've gotten this out in the open, maybe I'll find the committment I need for later.

Suzie, never say never. A few days ago, I didn't think I could pick up the phone to make an appointment, much less walk down there and talk face-to-face with the student receptionist. Anything's possible.

Re: 'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:49:51 2001 (#4184)

dont stop trying...u have a purpose in this life...u may not know now but there is a reason u r here! keep trying! Christine

Re: 'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by Strider on Tue Mar 6 07:36:32 2001 (#4196)

Don't be sorry Masque, that does sound very stressful! I know that it seems like there's no point to you're life, but there is! I know there is! You will find it, just keep looking. You will find it. I'm very sorry about the counciling sessions. I know you really wanted to go. Mabey you should try making an appointment, and then just see if you're ready when it comes time? Just a suggestion.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: 'Scuze me for a moment
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Tue Mar 6 19:28:59 2001 (#4203)

there is a purpose for you to be here, you just havent found it yet. But you will i promise you this it is out there and you will find it. You just have to look really really hard and you will see it, oh god i hope you find it soon. Love and Hope Amanda

EVERYONE
Posted by Jess on Mon Mar 5 22:57:44 2001 (#4171)

SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!! De-stress for a min. I'm a strange girl(in a good way)

SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jess

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by Suzie on Mon Mar 5 23:11:00 2001 (#4174)

girl im smiling through my tears, ! thanks

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by blackrose on Mon Mar 5 23:51:18 2001 (#4185)

even when I have the most pain in my life I will always try to smile for u! Christine

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by JUST ME on Tue Mar 6 01:47:32 2001 (#4187)

ya'all are soooo corny!! has it occured to you this is why pretty much all the "real" people left!!! this use to be a safe haven for those of us who SI. Check yourselves and make it real huh? Not the cutting, that is real, yourselves..how you feel!!!!

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by Masque d'etoiles on Tue Mar 6 02:12:42 2001 (#4188)

I'm sorry . . . could you please clarify what you are trying to say? I don't quite understand. Since when is smiling corny? I seem to remember reading that the act of making yourself smile can in fact improve your mood. Seems like it's worth a shot to me. If I enter a "safe haven," I would like to be greeted by an understanding smile - makes it a little more friendly than just a group of dour looking people.

And I thought many people left because of arguements here - often those started by criticisms.

I really do not understand your message, so if I have interpreted it wrongly, by all means explain.

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by ignorance is bliss on Tue Mar 6 02:36:43 2001 (#4189)

laura, will you either stay or go, pick one, but dont say you're gone but stay,

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by JUST ME on Tue Mar 6 03:54:05 2001 (#4190)

Exactly the point I am trying to make. First of all I am not Laura!!! I do know Laura... anyway...there isnt anything wrong with smiling, but why do you bother even replying to my post. There was a time where one came here to talk, express, share. Try being real, maybe there isnt anything to smile about...maybe you all could try being true to your feelings...Geez be real!!! DO you really feel like smiling...REALLY???? and NOOOOOOOO, people did not leave here because of arguments, people left here because of all the B.S. some of you were posting. Look I have been SI'ing for 13 years, and some of you may feel personally accused some of you cant help it, but some of you CAN!! Figure it out, it became so inpersonal... dont worry about what i post ots based on opinion...AND>>leave Laura alone, we are pretty tight and you dont begin to know what a sweetie she is!!

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by an old friend on Tue Mar 6 04:44:27 2001 (#4194)

Smile though your heart is aching; Smile even though it's breaking; When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by; If you smile through your fear and sorrow; Smile and maybe tomorrow; You'll see the sun come shining through. Light up your face with gladness; Hide every trace of saddness; Although a tear may be ever so near. That's the time you must keep on trying; Smile, what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worth while; If you just smile. ;o)

Re: EVERYONE
Posted by Strider on Tue Mar 6 07:41:28 2001 (#4197)

Yes Jess, you are strange.... in a good way! Freaking right smile! You've got the right idea!

love and prayers, Colin

damn this place has gone to the shits
Posted by LOST on Tue Mar 6 04:20:19 2001 (#4191)

Well you guys... i just came back for a visit to see how everything was going... WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLL it doesn't really seem like u guys are doing too good... whoever it is who keeps posting those messages is probably one of my friends... but u guys... if u don't like what they have to say, just ignore them... i mean u guys commenting and arguing with them is just pointles... don't u think? I'm not even gonna like take sides... cuz honestly i really don't care but i just wanna put my lil 2 cents in or whatever... but i just think that that person made their point or whatever and u guys made urs... i mean, do ur own thing. who cares what they think? (i personally do agree with some of what they have said, because those are some of the reasons that i left) but WHO CARES... if u guys are happy with how u guys are- then handle ur business... stay like that... don't let someone come in and ruin ur stuff for real. Honestly, at first i found this lil argument amusing... but now i think its just going too far and its getting kind of lame... its just getting MEAN. i mean its one thing to state ur opinions... but its going further then that now... so yeah... this was kind of pointless... but i said it anyway :)

annnnnnd just to let da da dat girl know... *I'VE* been here the longest so neener neener neener!!! :) (uh oh i started some drama...... ;þ)

Re: damn this place has gone to the shits
Posted by Bob on Tue Mar 6 04:26:53 2001 (#4192)

haha, sorry that last line was too funny

Re: damn this place has gone to the shits
Posted by Strider on Tue Mar 6 07:52:54 2001 (#4198)

It's good to hear from you, LOST. I was wondering how you're doing. Actually, I still don't know, but oh well, I hope you're good! Thanks for stopping bye though. Oh and because of that final statement of yours, I know who to blame the next war on!! (heh). See you later!

love and prayers, Colin

NEW TOPIC
Posted by suzie on Tue Mar 6 04:29:47 2001 (#4193)

well, um, how about those mets? eh? they were doing good there for a while. and ummm, well. whats new with ya all? anything funny happen. ok than, ta ta

What happened?
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 6 05:13:07 2001 (#4195)

What is going on why is everyone so mad? This wasn't like this in the summer. There has been four fights that I know of and it is neither persons fault. It is all misunderstandings.

what happened?
Posted by Strider on Tue Mar 6 08:00:54 2001 (#4199)

People coming and going. Things changing scares people, but it has to happen. If it didn't, no one would ever progress. Oh well. I just try and help out.

love an prayers, Colin

Re: what happened?
Posted by Lost and Lonly on Tue Mar 6 19:39:34 2001 (#4204)

things change and it can happen so slowly that we dont notice untill it is all compleatly different, and untill we all just forget about what has happened it will not go away. Love and Hope Amanda

GOTTA GIVE MY OPINION AGAIN
Posted by LOST on Tue Mar 6 16:36:16 2001 (#4200)

OK THIS IS MY DAMN OPINION SO ANYONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE IT CAN SUCK A FART OUT OF MY TOE.... AND IF U WANT TO ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT THIS, THEN U'LL BE ARGUING WITH URSELF CUZ I WON'T RESPOND BECAUSE I'M NOT CHILDISH... SOOOO HERE IT GOES....

i think that the reason all these arguments are happening is because MAYBE some of you guys have forgotten that this is a place for everyone to be HELPED. I've also noticed that there hasn't been much ADVICE being given out (yes... there is SOME... but not a whole lot) I mean, its good to give support and let people know that you're there for them, but i think advice is a major part of it also. You can't get better with just knowing that someone is there for u... if u could, everyone would be better now :) I'm not even trying to put u guys down... cuz u guys are doing ur own thing... but i'm just trying to give CONSTRUCTIVE critisism so maybe u guys can help eachother a little more or kind of take control of the board... I think maybe another reason is because u guys are all youngER (13-16) or something like that... which is fine, but maybe THAT'S why all the old board members have a problem... not because u guys suck or because u guys or lame or fake or anything like that... ur just DIFFERENT from us... you think different, u work different.... and i guess maybe to us old board people its a bad thing... but if it works for u guys... then do ur own thing... ha i can't remember the damn point to this letter... hehehe oh well... anyway thats all :) i'm a dork.

Re: GOTTA GIVE MY OPINION AGAIN
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 6 17:33:32 2001 (#4201)

You're right. That's why I left. Not because you guys suck, you just were on a different page from me and maybe some of the others.

Re: GOTTA GIVE MY OPINION AGAIN
Posted by sara on Tue Mar 6 22:49:27 2001 (#4209)

ok, i have to agree with you about people posting about problems and not giving more advice....but you know someone has to ask for help with a problem in order to recieve advice (or something like that). it think that one reason why people get so mad is b/c people take things the wrong way when they read a post, things sound differently depending on how you read them. that was why i have always been so timid to post and i've been coming to this board since this summer or earlier (i don't really remember), that someone would take it the wrong way.

but i don't think that age has much to do with the problems (but i can't say much b/c i am 16..but i will be 17 soon). but i guess it might feel odd for a 20 year old to get advice from a 12 year old, but the reason why we are here is the same.

we, as a whole, help each other in someway (maybe just knowing that it is here is comfort enough...)...so that is a good thing. ok, i'm done now, if i've made anyone mad, i'm sorry. -sara-

Re: GOTTA GIVE MY OPINION AGAIN
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 01:41:44 2001 (#4217)

You're right, it is different now. The age thing probably being one of the reasons. It is different for different age groups, it really is. It's too bad that the different ages can't seem to coincide. I don't know. I'm still around to help till I go though. It is weird being the oldest one here at age ninteen, but It doesn't bother me.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: GOTTA GIVE MY OPINION AGAIN
Posted by gnimia on Thu Mar 8 02:52:32 2001 (#4317)

i realise you dont know who i am, but, im grown up and nineteen and still cutting. so you r one up on me. xx

Gnimia
Posted by LOST on Thu Mar 8 05:19:23 2001 (#4325)

i don't understand what u just said... but i have never seen u post here before so that comment about the age doesn't apply to u... it has to do with how it used to be and how it is now...

It's sad
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 6 17:46:58 2001 (#4202)

It's sad, I like you guys very much but I also like Laura, DB, Lost, Fran, Blue Rose, Nuni, Marie, Melissa, and anyone else I forgot. I have known Blue Rose, Lost and others since I have been posting this summer. I wish we all could post together but I don't think that is going to happen. Maybe it is because 13-16 year olds can't post with 17-25 year olds. I don't know. Well I'll shut up everyone is probablly sick of me and my opinion. I was also stupid enough to use my real name. Love Ya!

Kate

Re: It's sad
Posted by ignorance is bliss on Tue Mar 6 19:58:22 2001 (#4205)

This is just my opinion too, but it is not necessarily the ages. I mean some of the people here you cannot tell what their ages are. Some people act older and others act younger. Growing up is a part includes acceptance. You "old people" (I use that term as the "original people") should be able to accept they responses and posts of the younger people. "WARS" aren’t always the answer.

You figure everyone here is hurting, each in his or her own different way. Other people may view another as a "fake" but there isn’t really a "fake" I mean if someone cuts them selves just to cut, than they really are true, being that they're cutting. So calling them fake is just closing your mind to his or her problems, and everyone here needs help.

I figure I’ve made a WHOLE LOT of mistakes, here at this board and in my life, but with growing up, I have learned to say "yeah, I’m an ass, that was me, sorry" I figure that’s what you guys have to do.

this IS NOT directed towards the "old folks" and it IS NOT directed towards the "young people" . It’s directed towards everyone in general, everyone, including me.

This is going to be my last post on this topic in general, because I figure me posting is only clogging up the board. So sorry for making a mess

Me

Re: It's sad
Posted by Kate on Wed Mar 7 00:01:31 2001 (#4212)

Thanks, you gave a good clear answer and it makes sense. Don't worry i probablly messed up the most. What's your name are you new or have been on this with a different name. I'm Kate and i am just visiting. Luv ya!

Re: It's sad
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 01:46:51 2001 (#4220)

It is, it really is. I really miss DB, Fran, Lost, and the others you mentioned. It's really strange for me being right in the middle (age wise) of this whole deal. I'm the age of duality. Love you to Kate.

love and prayers, Colin

can we all say...DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Ang on Tue Mar 6 20:09:49 2001 (#4206)

SERIOSULY PPL get ur hit togethere all we do is fight over petty shit were supposed to be here to help one another insted were fuckin making eachother feel worse its not okay with me so lets drop this shit and act like adults OKAY!! and i'm serios i don't want to hear anymore of this none sence Ang (an i'm do mad u ppl on't get any hugs or kisses)

Re: can we all say...DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 6 21:36:05 2001 (#4207)

Hi, I think its over hopefully. I think everyone calmed down. Well talk to you later!

Re: can we all say...DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 01:56:16 2001 (#4221)

Strider

I guess it's fair to say that I'm a total gimboid?
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 02:02:04 2001 (#4223)

Yet another post of mine gets screwed up by my own computer stupidity! Oh welll. What I was GOING to say, ws that I hope that all of the stupidity is over. I would hate for this board tht I've come to love so much, would be in turmoil when I leave soon. I can only hope.

love and prayers, Colin

otayz...
Posted by Weazle on Tue Mar 6 22:48:06 2001 (#4208)

um, i dun really know what im even talking about but i just wanted to say, why are we even still stressed about this? the argument finished ages ago and we are STILL criticizing each other. i mean....we are criticizing each other about critisizing...cant we write about something else? lets just all forget about it. maybe what somebody said wasnt to your liking but its over with now, we all hope that Nicke is okay, but the actual argument is over so lets ALL just move on...

Love and hope to y'all

Weazle

xxxxx

Re: otayz...
Posted by Srider on Wed Mar 7 02:12:48 2001 (#4227)

My sentiments EXACTLY.

love and prayers, Colin

movin' on up!
Posted by Suzie on Tue Mar 6 23:09:39 2001 (#4210)

ok, well i just wanted to know, how are you all doing. like, is stuff going good for ya, or is it going bad for yeah. im just wondering so im gonna say.... Ta ta

suzie

Re: movin' on up!
Posted by Kate on Tue Mar 6 23:58:50 2001 (#4211)

I am doing fine. I have been posting here to try to help all the drama. I probablly made it worse. I not posting here as much because I quit cutting for good (hopefully) and you all have my email if you need anything. I figure if you want my help and opinion you will ask. I love you all even the 14 year olds, just kidding! Your older friend, Kate

falling futher
Posted by Kekky on Wed Mar 7 00:20:15 2001 (#4213)

~Reality~ Why is life so generous, To everyone but me? I don't understand or know, I guess patience is the key. A shrink could have a field day, Off a mind as crazed as mine, But I guess besides reality, My life is going fine.

hey....just wanted to introduce myself. I'm kelly. A sixteen year old cutter. Ive been looking through these posts and this place doesnt seem too bad.

Re: falling futher
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 00:29:03 2001 (#4214)

hehe, usally we're more happy, the psyke board has um, pms, thats about right. it happens about once a month, so dont think that we're all bad. its just the monthly pms attacking us.

Come here and talk about anything. its all cool, well ill see you later

bye bye

suzie

Re: falling futher
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 02:25:44 2001 (#4229)

Hi there Kelly! My name's Colin Marlow, and I'm glad to help. With the help of this board I was able to stop cutting. I will be leaving soon (moving and then to the army) but while I'm he, plese e-mail me and IM me (my AIM name is UndeadLine). The board is going through a rather vile time right now, but it'll be OK. Keep posting, Kelly

love and prayers, Colin

Re: falling futher
Posted by Someone on Wed Mar 7 18:20:45 2001 (#4270)

It is a good place here, It did help me alot! see you! greetings Vicky!

Ahhh... the ever so sweet good ol days!
Posted by Hick-A-Billy BOB on Wed Mar 7 01:07:44 2001 (#4215)

Lordy! Ya'll ain't gonna like this none! (Sorry... I'm stuck in the pre-intellectual state of mind that you all seem to be wallowing in) Anyway! You know me... OPPS!... lemme re-phrase that... SOME of you remember me. I like to think that I at one point shed some light unto this oh-so-sad little board. For those of you whom this may concern... this board has, indeed, seen it's better days. It used to be a refuge for people that NEEDED help... and WANTED encouragement... now all that remains is a haven for people who like to cry baby. I mean... go ahead... see all the times that I came here to whine, because, frankly, I do whine. But it's just gotten to the point to where it's pathetic. And drama is a very big characteristic for this board now. 'Oh! *throws arm over eyes* I just don't know what to do with myself. I hate my life... I just hate everything! I have no friends! PLEASE be my friends! PLEASE! PLEASE, dear God, write to me to tell me the SAME FUCKING thing over and over! I'm going to go in there and kill myself... at 9... okay? Just letting you know that... I'll do it... I'll kill myself!' It really is quite ridiculous! You are the most unimaginative and uncreative bunch I've ever seen! The general response to the rant above: 'Don't worry! I love you so much. Everything will work out... I know it will!' You know JACK SHIT! Who are you? What are you??? God? I doubt it! (This is in no way, shape or form directed at Nicke... so don't EVEN start bitching at me for being mean to her!)But all the same you guys! Things changed... as things have a nasty habit of doing so. Unfortunately this time a bunch of friends, whose little dreams were stolen and taken over by a bunch of strangers, were left out in the dark. I tried to settle in with all the new people that came... but none were, even in the slightest, concerned with me... THAT is why I left! There's nothing like being replaced... which happened to every single one of us who left! This is SO not even a sob story... don't even write back telling me that I'm going off on an 'Oh poor-poor-pitiful Baleigh' act... because that's not want I'm doing at all. There's a bunch of you that I tried to help... that I emailed with my concerns for their well being... and one can only go so long without any gratitude. So please, before you go off and bash peple for being mean... think about what you've done to them! This is a two way street here, folks. This is almost like the kids who go and shoot their taunter's at school... so think before YOU start YOUR shit. Stop being so selfish and open up your eyes... take a look at what the board has become. And for all you 'newer' people... I'm really sorry you never got a chance to be a part of the community this place once was! As far as I'm concerned... you can have Canada... take it and trash it up however you all want...

Baleigh

PS- Oh yeah... before any of you even try to hurt my feelings... it won't work! But hell... everyone can take a stab at it... email me if you'd like. I don't know what good it'll do you... it would just amuse me... and I, in turn, may have to say some not-so-nice things! Chao!

WHAT A BITCH!
Posted by LOST on Wed Mar 7 01:44:00 2001 (#4218)

YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T LIKE WHAT THIS BOARD HAS BECOME... BUT WHAT THE FUCK GIVES U THE RIGHT TO COME OVER HERE AND SAY THIS SHIT? DA DA DAT GRRL ALREADY DID THIS, BUT AT LEAST SHE DID IT WITH SOME CLASS AND SHE SPOKE TRUTH... BUT *YOU* I THINK U WERE JUST TRYING TO BE MEAN. I THINK U JUST WANTED TO PUT UR LIL 2 FUCKN CENTS IN (WHICH WERE TOTALLY POINTLESS) I MEAN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF UR POST? JUST SO U CAN FEEL ALL BIG AND MIGHTY AND PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN? AND PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSEEEEE DON'T START WITH THE "FEEL SORRY FOR ME" SHIT MRS. "ALL THE BOYS HATE ME AND ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THE WAY I LOOK AND THATS ALL I EVER TALK ABOUT SINCE I DON'T HAVE ANY REAL PROBLEMS TO TALK ABOUT!!" I MEAN, U EVEN SAID URSELF THAT U'D RATHER HAVE THIS SI PROBLEM AND CUT URSELF AND STUFF THAN TO HAVE PIMPLES-- AND I'M SURE ITS BECAUSE UR SO SELF FUCKN ABSORBED THAT U'D RATHER HAVE BETTER FACIAL SKIN THAN TO LIVE A LIFE FREE OF CUTTING URSELF... I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF THINKING IS THAT??? AND IF THATS THE CASE... WHY ARE U SITTING HERE COMPLAINING ABOUT CUTTING URSELF IF UR HAPPY WITH THE RESULTS OF *NOT* HAVING PIMPLES?? MAKE UP UR FUCKN MIND. AND U KNOW I SAT BACK AND I HAD MY THINGS THAT I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU ABOUT THAT KIND OF STUFF, BUT I WAS POLITE AND I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MEAN AND UNCALLED FOR TO SAY CERTAIN THINGS... BUT SINCE *YOU* HAVE DECIDED TO COME OVER HERE AND SAY SHIT THAT WAS MEAN AND UNCALLED FOR, I JUST THOUGHT I'D LET U KNOW HOW I SAW *YOU*... BUT THATS AS FAR AS I'M GONNA GO BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER. AND U KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?? U WEREN'T EVEN AROUND FOR THAT LONG BEFORE EVERYTHING STARTED TO CHANGE, SO I DON'T WANNA FUCKN HEAR ALL THAT BULLSHIT WITH U ACTING LIKE U'VE BEEN AROUND SINCE THE BEGINING... JUST STOP TRYING TO PUT OTHER PEOPLE DOWN JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE URSELF AS A PIECE OF SHIT OK?

(and to all u people that have been being talked shit about constantly on here *the "new" group of people*- just don't pay attention to what BALEIGH had to say cuz she's just trying to make u guys feel like shit cuz she has nothing better to do with her goddamn time.

and for all the O.G. people on here... don't trip on me for saying all this stuff, but i couldn't bite my tongue for any longer.

AND I KNOW THAT YOU IN TURN MAY HAVE SOME NOT SO NICE THINGS TO SAY... BUT THATS OK BALEIGH BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH ME, AND U CAN CALL ME OUT ON ANY OF IT... AND AT LEAST I'LL BE GETTING SHIT TALKED TO FOR *DEFENDING* PEOPLE RATHER THAN TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL LIKE SHIT.

HAVE A NICE DAY.

BRING IT ON FUCKING BITCH
Posted by Tara on Wed Mar 7 02:03:12 2001 (#4224)

FUCK YOU BITCH.Where do you live,because if you live anywhere near me I am going to kick your fucking ass and don't think that I won't.I don't want people like you on this board.YOU can try to e-mail me if you would like.But you put one more person down on this board than I will fucking find your dumb ass and knock the holy living shit out of it.Get my fucking drift.

Re: BRING IT ON FUCKING BITCH
Posted by Lost on Wed Mar 7 02:05:57 2001 (#4225)

are u talking to ME?

Re: BRING IT ON FUCKING BITCH
Posted by Tara on Wed Mar 7 02:13:13 2001 (#4228)

NO i ment it for that hick-a billy bob

no no no nonononono
Posted by ignorance is bliss on Wed Mar 7 02:45:20 2001 (#4230)

PLEASE!~!!!!!! PLEASE DONT FIGHT AGAIN. Everyone who fights talks about how this board isnt the way it was, isnt how it used to be. and all that happens is people fight. I mean, wouldnt you want people to be supportive and "whine" than people scream and fight? Everyone here has enough shit to deal with. please dont fight. its bringing down everything psyke was or is or has become. psyke was an amazing place to come, but now, in its current condition. its terrible. there is a civil war going on here. and you guys have got to settle it. PLEASE do, PLEASE!

Re: Ahhh... the ever so sweet good ol days!
Posted by Lost on Wed Mar 7 04:01:04 2001 (#4241)

and one more thing... how come after u just now talked all that shit about them, are u going to try to make it seem like YOU are the victim?? it seems as though that is one of ur common characteristics... constantly seeing urself as the victim... maybe u should think about that......

Re: Ahhh... the ever so sweet good ol days!
Posted by Bob on Wed Mar 7 04:06:07 2001 (#4242)

good one

Re: Ahhh... the ever so sweet good ol days!
Posted by Alana on Wed Mar 7 21:21:53 2001 (#4289)

Hey Baleigh, I think you are the only on this board that makes actual sense. Email me sometime, we'll get along!

TOTALLY UN-FAIR
Posted by LOST on Wed Mar 7 02:01:12 2001 (#4222)

you know... u guys were just sitting here minding ur own business trying to help eachother out... and then WHAT HAPPENS?? people come in here and start talking shit to u?? i mean, what the hell is that???? i can understand if it was constructive critism... but what SOME of these people are telling u guys is TOTALLY out of line. You guys are being bullied. i think its stupid. but u know that bullies (like in school and stuff) just like to do those things because USUALLY they don't like THEMSELVES and so they want to make everyone else feel gross inside just like them... and it makes them feel powerful since they have always been powerLESS... and u know... some of those people that have posted mean things to you are my friends... (one of them isn't... the one that stepped the MOST out of line and totally acted stupid... anyways) but i feel as though i should apologize to u guys for their behavior. it was inappropriate and uncalled for and u guys shouldn't have to deal with it... so i'm sorry for the way that u guys have been treated these past couple of days... and i hope that u guys can just ignore what is said from now on and be BIGGER people than them-- because some of these "bullies" are just being childish and although u guys are YOUNGER than them... u can still be more MATURE than them.... stay safe u guys.... and don't let other people bring u down... u have enough problems to deal with without other people trying to talk shit to you..... and again... i apologize for what has been said to u guys... bye...

SORRY TO EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT ON THIS BOARD!!!!!!
Posted by Tara on Wed Mar 7 02:08:30 2001 (#4226)

i am sorry if i am being a little mean.it just makes me so fucking mad for people to come here and trash us because we have problems to deal with.as for you hick-a-billy bob read my message to you and see if you like how i treat you.if you don't i am sooooooooooo sorry for you.....NOT.you can kiss my white ass

TARA

once again NEW TOPIC
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 02:49:11 2001 (#4231)

now um... lets talk about something just pointless. like how um. well i dont know, just change the subject

A JOKE!
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 03:16:09 2001 (#4233)

hm, pointless, eh????

well, I have a joke!

when you're driving down the high way and you run over a cat, which way do the hairs on a carrot stand up??????

Punchline!
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 03:19:26 2001 (#4234)

But Fish don't eat ice cream!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Re: A JOKE!
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 03:19:54 2001 (#4235)

oh dear, um....... lemme see. do carrots even have hairs?

Re: A JOKE!
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 03:21:27 2001 (#4236)

WHATT!!!!!! ok yeah, you won the pointles award

Re: A JOKE!
Posted by LOST on Wed Mar 7 03:35:03 2001 (#4237)

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!! i swear that was for reals some FUNNY shit. for reals. (yeah i know it didn't make sense) but it was still hilarious cuz i didn't expect it to not make sense... Much love strider... that was cool :)

what the hell
Posted by Alana on Wed Mar 7 03:04:03 2001 (#4232)

ok you know what, this place is such shit now. Some people try so hard to keep it going, and than others come in here and JUDGE! What the fuck is that about? I came here about 2 months ago or so, to find a place which wouldn't judge me for anything I said or felt. You wonder why people leave this place. Holy shit! Thats all that happens here. Is there a place in this world where you can just be you, where people don't fuck it all up. This is the farthest from that.

a moment of your time please...
Posted by DeliriousButterfly on Wed Mar 7 03:37:25 2001 (#4238)

Okay, maybe I'm making a big mistake posting here, but I have a few things to say. It's clear that everyone is madder than Hell, except Strider, who is always calm in a Zen-like way! Not my point.....but anyway...have you even noticed that da-da-dat grrrl hasn't posted lately. Remember her, she is the one you're supposedly mad at, but she hasn't been around and you're still fighting! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? You people need to calm down! Let me give you a bit of advice.....you shouldn't threaten to hunt down people and kick some ass. You can be mad at me, too, if you want. You can flame me or e-mail me and say hateful things if you want. I am not scared of anyone. I'm just trying to get all of you to see that this is stupid. Has anyone stopped to look at themselves? I'm not directing this at anyone in particular, just telling you what I see happening here. This place is going up in flames. (No pun intended.) I'm not going to claim to be the first person here, because I wasn't. I came here on October 4 of last year. I posted under Butterfly at first, you can look it up. People have been trying to change the subject around here....why don't you let them?!? Come on, this is getting ridiculous now. Everybody act your age. I don't care why it started, just let it die down. Flame me if you want. I don't care. Like I said, maybe me posting this was a mistake, but I'm not perfect, you know?

Lori

Re: a moment of your time please...
Posted by blackrose on Wed Mar 7 04:37:36 2001 (#4249)

Lori, ur right..everyone is still mad at each other for things that happened ages ago...hopefully we can get back to helping each other out instead of critisizing! I dont care if ppl critisize each other though bcuz I'm gonna help! I dont want ppl fighting we should just get back to what we're all here for in the 1st place...trying to help on1 another cope! i g2g 4 now! Christine

:( :( :( :(
Posted by LOST on Wed Mar 7 03:39:29 2001 (#4239)

UHM U GUYS I'M SORRY... I FEEL ALL GUILTY NOW, I KNOW EVERYONE IS MAD FOR PEOPLE TALKING SHIT... AND I'M SURE U GUYS ALSO INCLUDE ME IN THERE... BUT LIKE I DIDN'T MEAN TO TALK SHIT... I KINDA JUST WANTED TO DEFEND U GUYS A LITTLE BECAUSE EVEN THO I'M ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO LEFT A WHILE AGO AND I'M ONE OF THE ONES WHO AGREES WITH SOME OF WHAT DA DA DAT GRRL SAID, I STILL THINK THAT U GUYS SHOULDN'T BE HARRASSED AND STUFF... SO I APOLOGIZE IF U GUYS THOUGHT THAT I CAME HERE TO TALK SHIT TO EVERYONE... I WAS JUST TRYIN TO MAKE THE OTHER PEOPLE (WHOM I KNOW PERSONALLY) STOP DOING WHAT THEYRE DOING EVEN THO THEY'RE MY FRIENDS... SO.... SORRY.....

how about this...
Posted by -sara- on Wed Mar 7 03:55:02 2001 (#4240)

i have a proposal for all of you board members. i've been at the board for awhile and have been just got done reading the latest posts. the lastest ones have been quite disturbing, what if a new person who cut came in here, i would hate to think what impression they might get. but that's regardless of the issue at hand right now.

anyway, i don't think that i was involved in any of the fighting, but what if we stop all of the fighting right now. that is all, good night, if you feel like people just don't want to listen, e-mail me and i will listen. -sara-

Re: how about this...
Posted by Julia on Wed Mar 7 04:13:15 2001 (#4243)

I'm a new cutter and also new here. I don't think I'm any board member or anything, I don't know what that is. You're right, the latest posts are disturbing but I am glad that I've found this place.

Re: how about this...
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 04:16:53 2001 (#4244)

we're all happy too. ill look at you "new folk" as the boards midol, since i said the board has pms b/c they get in fights about once a month!! hehe

im me at phishvisor or email me anytime! hehe ok than byebye

suzie

Re: how about this...
Posted by Strider on Wed Mar 7 05:39:28 2001 (#4261)

Sarah, you are very right. I'm glad that all of this didn't scare you off.

love and prayers, Colin

Re: how about this...
Posted by -sara- on Wed Mar 7 05:50:23 2001 (#4262)

i just figured it was about time someone said something...i mean i usually just hang around in the back drop, but i'm starting to come out. i just got tired of everyone being so mad, so when i want to get something done, i usually try to take the innitiative. well, good night again...rather good morning (at my house), -sara-

new here
Posted by Doris on Wed Mar 7 04:20:01 2001 (#4245)

Hi everyone

I've been posting on the Suicide board for a while and I thought I'd try it out over here. Here's a short bio:

I'm 18 and I was diagnosed with manic depression three years ago. I started cutting when I came to college. I didn't cut for very long before it got pretty bad. It got so bad that all my friends got together and had an intervention to get me to stop. Even after that I still cut. I don't know what eventually stopped me. It was probably the loving support of my family when I told them all about my problem. They got me the help I needed.

It's been 78 days since the last time I cut. I went to the pyschiatrist the other day and he told me I was in "full remission."

I just wanted to say hi to everyone and tell them that I'm here if they want to talk. Feel free to email me anytime. I'll be praying for all of you. Please be well and happy. God speed.

Doris

Re: new here
Posted by blackrose on Wed Mar 7 04:44:30 2001 (#4251)

hi Doris :O)...welcome! it may be a lil hectic in here bcuz there r some fights...but dont worry...I know they'll go away! keep postin! :O) Christine P.S-have fun!

Re: new here
Posted by Doris on Wed Mar 7 05:15:13 2001 (#4255)

Hey Christine

Thanks so much for welcoming me. I hope I can help people here. That's all I want to do. I've been reading up on these recent fights and I just think it's a shame. People come here to escape from the stress and chaos of their lives - God knows we don't need more chaos here. I hope everything gets worked out. Thanks again, Christine!

Doris

Re: new here
Posted by Suzie on Wed Mar 7 05:19:12 2001 (#4256)

holy crap!! 78 days?? how on earth did ya pull that one off. i could never do that one. geeze you must be one strong chicka. come and visit out board. i must apologiese for the hectic going on here, its not normaly like this. .... it just has a bad day once in a while, so exscuse the fights! '

suze

Re: new here
Posted by Doris on Wed Mar 7 05:34:47 2001 (#4260)

Thanks for welcoming me Suzie

Yeah, 78 days is a long time. With the love of my family and with the strength and guidance from our Lord, I have come out of my depression. It's been a long and bumpy road, but I am SUCH a better person for it. And I wish every single one of you on this board the same fortune and strength that I have found.

And as for the fights, I certainly hope that all stops. I know I haven't been here long, but I've heard nothing but praises about this board - about how much it helps people. I hope all the bitterness and fighting can stop and it can go back to a place where people feel comfortable posting and not feel like they're being judged with every word they type. My best to you all. God speed.

Doris

Re: new here
Posted by Someone on Wed Mar 7 18:33:15 2001 (#4272)

78 days it seems so long, I'm trying to stop now and so for so good I didn't cut myself for 5 days now! its hard because I'm thinking about it every day. but I'm doing the best I can, peole thank you all!! greetings and lots of love Vicky!

Re: new here
Posted by Doris on Wed Mar 7 19:07:20 2001 (#4273)

WOW!!! Congratulations, Vicky! 5 days is great! I sincerely hope you keep it up! I know it's hard.. trust me, I know. The first month or so I could NOT stop thinking about it. But that goes away, trust me. I hardly ever think about it now.. maybe once a month or something. I just keep myself busy and I don't even think about it. Vicky, I wish you the best of luck! Please keep it up! We're all cheering for you! God speed.

Doris

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