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Threads 2901 to 2950

who is tara?
Posted by kae on Mon Oct 29 10:12:33 2001 (#11369)

hey i havent been on here as long as u guys but ive noticed that Rhonda posts on here as Tara's Mom. who is tara and what is the significance behind that name? why isnt tara on here herself?

hope u can fill me in. thanx

luv y'all, kae

Re: who is tara?
Posted by Amanda on Mon Oct 29 16:32:15 2001 (#11371)

tara come on here when she can, but as far as i can tell she works a lot and doesnt get the chance to post very often. Rhonda is tara's mum(well DUH!!) and tara's lucky as her mum cares about her enough to want to come here and help. she offers a view that not many of us have, she is an adult, a parent and an outside view all in one. it helps to have someone like her around.

Love, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: who is tara?
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:29:11 2001 (#11379)

Tara is a young lady who used to post here often but I think I remember Rhonda saying she moved out. I hope Taras alright, she was a cutter and we all supported each other just like we do now, as a family (well we try, right) anyway yeah..just one of us.
:) Good luck Tara wherever you are.. love KAT

Re: who is tara?
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 01:49:31 2001 (#11394)

Thanks for all the kind words about Tara guys. Kae, Tara is my daughter and she cuts. Although she hasn't in quite a while now, she still battles with it. With the right meds and one hell of a therapist, she has been doing great.Yes, KAT is right. My baby moved out with some friends about 2 weeks ago and I really miss her. I still get to see her a lot as she drops by to borrow stuff, the vacum cleaner, gas money. (HA!HA!) The friends she moved in with don't have a computer so needless to say, she doesn't post much, but she did tell me today to tell everyone hello and she still thinks about ya'll a lot. Well, I'll go now. Probably boring everyone. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Re: who is tara?
Posted by KAT on Tue Oct 30 02:15:16 2001 (#11402)

aw thats so sweet!!! Rhonda, aw..hehe thats so nice of you to give her gas money, I wish my mom did that. Oh well..hehe take care Love KAT

Re: who is tara?
Posted by kae on Tue Oct 30 09:18:58 2001 (#11408)

sweet as......good to know! i hope she keeps improving and beats this shit.

luv 'n hugz, kae

Me again!
Posted by Jenny on Mon Oct 29 16:21:00 2001 (#11370)

Hiya all, only me again, ve made up with Keith and Sallyanne, not how I wanted to but still were mates! For how long I ask my self?? They fobed me off with some crappy story and I pretended I believed them which I didn't but who cares!!?? I tried my hardest not to cut over them but it didnt work, so one again I can be called a cutter! I slashed till I had no dry skin left and boy did I feel good after wards! ne way gota go Im on de school computer love ya all loads Luv Jen

Re: Me again!
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:30:33 2001 (#11380)

PLLLLLLLLEASEEEEEEEE be carefule, and take care sweetie. love ya much-KAT

*SIGH* i know i said i was going........
Posted by Amanda on Mon Oct 29 16:40:14 2001 (#11372)

i cant, this place, its like a safty blanket. im in florida on holiday and i had to find a comp so that i could come on here. cant cope without speaking to you lot!!!! my blades used to be my safty blanket but now its a cross between them, here, and a paket of cigaretts(soz cant spell). i have to have something to hold on to and this place is one of those things. i have done a lot of thinking this week, i supose this holiday is going to help me in a few ways, it will give me a head start, i cant cut for these two weeks, it would be to risky. and it has given me a chance to do a lot of thinking as i said. also, it might just bring me and my mum closer together, that is one thing that i hope for more than anything, i go through periods of hating her. only coz i feel like she doesnt love me, i know she DOES but i dont feel it and i hate her for that. but i love her and want her to love me back and show me that she does care.

oh well. how are you guys? i dont have time to read all the post from the last week, so could you all just let me know. email me if you want. i dont know when i ll next get the chance to check my mail but ill try and do it fairly soon.

Luv, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: *SIGH* i know i said i was going........
Posted by Angelica on Mon Oct 29 18:30:30 2001 (#11373)

Hi Amanda I know what you mean, I also find this place a security blanket, even though I haven't cut or burned for over 3 months now, I still feel a need to come here every day if possible and checks posts. Up till now I've been very shy and nervous about replying to other people's posts, but now I feel more able to. Sorry for rambling on. Please feel free to e-mail me if you'd like? Love 'n' blood soaked tears Ema xxx

Re: *SIGH* i know i said i was going........
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:33:48 2001 (#11381)

Hi Amanda, Im not sure if we've met. Im Jessica but I post as KAT. Ive been posting here a long long time, anyway Im glad your thinking things through. Time away from tirggers and blades can be time welll well spent, I assure you of that. Parents are human beings too and some just dont know how to be excellent parents, give your Mum time Im sure shes trying, and show her you love her if yo honestly do. Good luck to you on that...and have a safe trip. Me? Im okay...actually pretty crappy but I wont bring you down w/ my bad news. be safe take care Love -KAT

Re: *SIGH* i know i said i was going........
Posted by Dawn on Tue Oct 30 00:50:19 2001 (#11387)

Hi, hope you do get closer to your mother. I understand the hate/love? thing. Growing up I had no feelings for my mother, but when I had my breakdown I realized I Hated her, more her treatment of me. But once I talked about it began to see that I was not much different than she was. And as I began to forgive myself forgiveness for her happened. Now she is dead and I miss her. Which is something I never thought would happen.

So what I am saying is just be yourself, try to get your emotional needs met with her, but if it doesn't happen on this holiday, maybe it will come later.

Have a safe holiday...Dawn

Re: *SIGH* i know i said i was going........
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 01:56:12 2001 (#11395)

Hey Amanda, This place does become a habit doesn't it? Of course I mean that in a good way. I wouldn't trade ya'll for anyone. This might be a good time to think about things. Maybe you can have a heart to heart talk with your mom and get things straightened out. Could be she is just scared about things happening to you and doesn't really know how to deal with them. Mom's are like that sometimes. Sometimes I don't know what to say when some one posts something here. If you ever want to talk, just email me. You can write anytime. Take care. Love, Rhonda

**
Posted by thisbe on Mon Oct 29 19:49:38 2001 (#11374)

yey it was almost been 6months that i haven't cut.but i was to depressed today. cant help myself im such a failor. pf fuck everything.dont care anymore.

Re: **
Posted by jue on Mon Oct 29 21:32:01 2001 (#11376)

hey, hey... six months is amazing. i went for a month and then the sadness hit hard again... it happens...but that doesn't mean failure, it doesn't mean weakness... it doesn't mean anything bad... it is just a time that may not feel like it will pass...but it will...time is having its way with all of us...it just keeps ticking on and as bad as it sounds even if we are doing nothing time will change things in ways that we will never be able to imagine...sorry for the rambling,,,just want you to know to take care and be careful....

love lots...julie

Re: **
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:36:09 2001 (#11382)

Just because you cut after a period of time most ceratinly does NOT mean you are a failure in any way. I promise! Like I said earlier its like riding a bike, when you fall off you dont give up you get back on and try again and see how long you can hold yourself up. and when you fall off lets hope you have someone around to catch you, and if you dont well I hope your strong enough to pick up the pieces. Take care of yourself, and keep trying (thats what Im doing). No one ever said it was gonna be easy
:) love -KAT

Re: **
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 01:57:56 2001 (#11396)

You are not a failure!!!!! Just take a deep breath and relax. You have friends here who will help you. Talk to us. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Re: **
Posted by Amanda on Tue Oct 30 16:58:53 2001 (#11417)

try to care, its hard but try as hard as you can. it gets better, or so ive heard!

Love Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Treatment
Posted by Andrew Levander, M.A., M.A.C. on Mon Oct 29 20:04:52 2001 (#11375)

My name is Andrew Levander and I am a therapist and addicitive disorders specialist in the Los Angeles, Ca. area. I have a private therapeutic treatment center for self-injury and would like to let people know that there is help in LA. I can be reached at TheHealingHouse@msn.com or at 213-470-7730

Thank You,

Andrew Levander, M.A., M.A.C. The Healing House Clinical Director

Re: Treatment
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 02:02:22 2001 (#11398)

Hi Andrew, Are you gonna be coming on the board regularly? Some of these people live in different countries so they can't get to you personally. I think it would be neat to get the input of someone who specializes in this. It's such a problem to find a therapist who will REALLY help these kids and young people. Of course, you can't judge them. What do ya think? Email me if you have any questions. I don't cut, but I come here to help the ones who do. Take care. Love, Rhonda

THIS IS NOT OUR FUCKING FAULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by jue on Mon Oct 29 21:41:44 2001 (#11377)

I been thinking how we all blame ourselves here. WHy the hell do we blame ourselves for hurting...we can't help what is over,,, we can't change what we did,,, we have a hard time controlling what is before us,,,we are living in pain that makes us want to hurt ourselves, yet we blame ourselves and say that we are failures after we get sad and hurt ourselves, or are angry or whatever,,,it seems as though we are mad at ourselves b/c we can't control our emotions. why is it okay for other people but not for us????? why can people show sadness when they find out they have cancer but we can't with the situation we are in..... WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THIS IS OUR OWN DAMN FAULTS...I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE HAS DONE OUR SAID OUR ANYTHING,,,IT IS NOT OUR FAULT THAT WE ARE IN THIS SITUATION,.

we are sad and frustrated and angry and numb and confused but we shouldn't beat ourselves up about this...

Does anyone understand...it is just sad that i am mad at myself for cutting again,,, it is a process it isn't something i am to blame for.

it just really hit me,,, we are all good people.

we don't deserve this. we are innocent no matter how dirty we feel.

please...i am trying to believe this....what are others thoughts. it just struck me that we shouldn't be angry at ourselves for suffering.

am i way off base??????? please reply.

take care...love julie

Re: THIS IS NOT OUR FUCKING FAULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 22:39:52 2001 (#11383)

Congradulations, Im sooo Happy for you Julie. Youve come to the point where your realizing this shit is something that we kinda have no control over and we arent responsible for alot of things that go on in life therefore we shouldnt be the ones taking all the blame. Im happpy for you, your post was real encourgaing to me. I used to be real confident and stuff, and Im really slipping back into my depressed cutting wrists times. Its not good and I thank you so much for posting that your absolutely right about it all. and You are not way off base oyur right on the target. Thanks again Jules, and nice posts. Take care be strong, have hope...love KAT

Re: THIS IS NOT OUR FUCKING FAULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 02:07:04 2001 (#11399)

Of course you're all good people. Things have happened in your life that have caused you to deal with pain in this way. Whatever happened to you is not your fault. Just keep thinking that thought. Do what Dawn does, she puts signs on her wall with sayings on them so she can see and remember them. Like "This is not my fault" Maybe that will help. Email me if you want to. I'm always here. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Now I feel guitly..
Posted by KAT on Mon Oct 29 23:23:04 2001 (#11384)

so these people tell me they are having problems with SI and Suicidal thoughts so I give them this page website b/c It has helped me alot. and they come back complainging and telling me it has worsened their life. Im so confused...a little feed back anyone?

Some people are not ready for help
Posted by Dawn on Tue Oct 30 01:09:29 2001 (#11391)

Kat, I know your heart is in the right place. But some people just are not ready to stop being mad at the world and taking it out on themselves, so they cut, and they strike out at people who are trying to help. I think we have to learn to keep our hearts open and not quit when arrows come toward us. Because they are going to come. We just have to learn to not let them distract us from helping those who want help and are ready to open the eyes to the truth. It hurts, but we can't let it stop us.

Re: Now I feel guitly..
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 02:09:58 2001 (#11400)

Maybe they don't understand and just lashed out on you. I wouldn't worry about it KAT. You're a good person with good intensions. Some people will never be happy and you can't change that. Just take care of yourself and your friends. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Re: Now I feel guitly..
Posted by jue on Tue Oct 30 04:32:19 2001 (#11403)

you had the right intentions...as already mentioned. what worked for you might not work for another. it has nothing to do with you. you are a sweetheart. remember that. also it is for them to figure out what works for themselves you are throwing out ideas which is great.

take care...love lots julie

help
Posted by *me* on Tue Oct 30 01:05:19 2001 (#11389)

Things are just going from bad to worse lately and I don't know what to do. I hate the way I am feeling but I don't know how to make it stop. Yesterday my mother told me, she goes, "You know, I'm really learning to hate you. I can't wait until you leave for college." GOD WHY DO I LET HER WORDS HURT ME?!!? I don't know. They stab into me like they actually mean something. WHY do I let them mean something? Shouldn't I have learned by now just to IGNORE them. But they hurt, and so I hurt myself.

But yeah, so my mother doesn't care. My only living grandparent wishes I had died instead of my father. My half brother has not contacted me in my entire life and ignores my existance. And I am pushing my friends away from me. I don't know why, but it's like I've just separated myself from them. I don't know. So I was seriously thinking the other day about just running away. I doubt I would do it, but in my head I was planning out what I would take and what I would wear and where I could go. And then I was thinking who would really care if I died? Like, in 20 years who would CARE that I wasn't alive? I'M NOT GOING TO OFF MYSELF RIGHT NOW. That's not at all what I'm implying. I don't know what I'm talking about even, it's just all the feelings I've felt for these past few days that are all rushing out right now. I have no idea what I'm expecting. But I'm feeling so freaking pressured right now and very sad and very lonely and I just want to bleed and bleed and bleed it out. The blood has become important to me. It never used to be. I just cared about the pain. Now I need the blood. I need to cut in the shower and see the blood turn the water orange. I need to see the blood drip down my leg. Plz help. I don't know what to do.

Re: help
Posted by KAT on Tue Oct 30 02:00:14 2001 (#11397)

Im sorry people say things to you that hurt you like a physical wound. I know how it feels to be shut out and put down by people who mean the world to you. It hurts, and that hurt stings forever, but it will fade over time, just like everything else. I hope you have a therapist or counselor because I think that might be a good thing for you right now, ya know. I love you, I think you need to hear that, I know I do. so Im saying it to you, I love you take care. I wish I could forsee the future and tell you everything will turn out how you want it, but I cant. Life is hard and things hurt but we get through it somehow..(I dont know how). Your still breathing and thats what matters, now take care of yourself your the only YOU out there. (I hope that made sence). anyway be strong *hugs* Im here if you wanna talk more, feel free to e-mail me. LOVE -KAT

Re: help
Posted by Tara's Mom on Tue Oct 30 02:14:07 2001 (#11401)

I'm so sorry about what your family is saying to you. That is very cruel and mean. I really wish I had some magic words to make things better for you. Instead I'll send you this (((((((((((HUG)))))))))) and hope you feel better soon!! Please write me if you want to. I'm here for you. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Re: help
Posted by jue on Tue Oct 30 04:39:46 2001 (#11404)

*me* i just wish i could hold on to you and keep you safe... you are very special. i am so sorry about your family,,,if you can, try not to push your friends away,,,they care and they will try to be there,, even if they don't know how, or even don't know that you are hurting...please be careful...i wish i could say somewhere that you could run away where there was love and warmth. where everyone showed love and affection. just keep posting... tell that teacher you were mentioning before(anon) if you can....

i am really hoping for you.

God speed...take care love lots, julie

KAT, rhonda and jue - plz read
Posted by *me* on Tue Oct 30 19:53:48 2001 (#11421)

Plying to ur posts in a big post, so forgive me if I leave nething out.

KAT - I don't have a counselor/therapist, tho I seriously wish I did. NO ONE knows about me and cutting and stuff. I'm trying to figure out how to contact someone anonymously to get help, bc I don't know if I can wait until I'm 18. Thank you for telling me you loved me. I am crying. It really means a lot to me. I love you too. I love everyone here. I hope you all know that.

Jue - My friends don't know about me, either, but I know they care. I don't know why I'm pushing them away. I'm not, like, physically doing anything to them. I just kinda sit and observe instead of taking part in convos. I got into a huge fight (their fault) with some of my friends a few weeks ago, and I just can't bring myself to forgive them. Things like that. I'm afraid I'm going to lose all of them, bc they are the only ppl in real life I feel that care about me, but I can't help feeling like an outsider when I'm with them. And I don't know why I feel like that, bc they try to include me but I just feel so ALONE even when I'm in a group. I don't know. And I came thisclose to emailing that teacher, I even planned out what I would say, but I'm SO SCARED that she'll go to guidance and they'll track me down. I can't stand the THOUGHT of ppl knowing.

But for all three of you, thank you for replying. I was nervous that no one was going to reply, and I need to talk about what I'm feeling right now, bc otherwise it just turns into more of a hurt that I'm keeping silent. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think you know what I mean.

Lots of love.

WEll...there goes my life again...
Posted by *Poison on Tue Oct 30 05:07:42 2001 (#11405)

OK..here's what happened. i'm supposed to be moving back with my mom friday. but guess what!!!!!!!!!! I"M NOT NOW. (how'd u guess?!) me and my mom got in a fight last night cause i was looking out for my sister, cause i fear that she is going to turn out like me, but in a different way, because she lies a WHOLE lot, and she is 12, and i dunno, she just really does a lot of things that are not normal for a kid her age. but anyway. so i told my mom that it was important for someone her age to have a room of her own so that she has a "safe place" to be a place she can call her own and explore her indivuality with etc. and my mom only has 3 bedrooms, (and i have a brother who is 4) but my sister and my brother do not get along and me and my sister don't get along. so i was like fine, i'll by myself a shed and go live in that so she can have her own room. but of course my mom flipped out on that cause that makes her look like a bad parent, etc... but she was supposed to be putting on an addition to her house this month but one contractor gave her some whack price that isn't even concieveable, it's more that what my dad BUILT his house for! and my mom jsut gave up hope there and she's like well i'll have to put ryan (brother) and tabatha(sister) together. and i was like " what are you going to kick her out of her romo whenever ryan needs a time-out?" and she's like "yeah what's wrong with that!?" I swear to god my mom is a dipstick! i hate her! so i told her that all my problems started when i moved in with her in 3rd grade, and she's like "all the way back then!?" and i was like "YEAH!! DON"T YOU REMEMBER MY WHOLE SUICIDE THING IN 6th GRADE!?" she's like "NO" and it's like HELLO you had to go in and talk to the friggen guidence councelour!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking idiot, shows how much she pays attention. ahhh! je ne sais pas! Je deteste ma mere! elle n'est pas sympa!! now i get to tell everyone at school that i'm not moving. WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 that ought to be fun!!! espically since one of my teachers was going to have a "party" for me..jesus fukking christ!!! and people wonder why i don't talk!! cause it always gets me in trouble. i'm done. ...maybe i can convince her someway?? i just NEED to get out of this house with my dad!

KoKo

****Don't worry about this part, i needed to finish this at school, and i couldn't find a floppy disk to save it on, and they don't allow u to bring in burned cd's and i would get thrown off the computers all year if they caught me checking my mail****

Leading this country to independence was a very difficult task. There were many obstacles that the colonists had to overcome, many of them being with their own “mother country”. Politically, the Americans had every right to do as they did they had taxation without representation, and were considered unequal to their ancestors, and at one point before American consciousness came into play, their heritage and true home. If the colonists had never stood up for themselves then they we might still be under English rule, and we definitely would not be the land of the free. In 1776 the Declaratory Tax enabled England to tax the colonists. This was to help England regain economical freedom, since they were extremely in debt from helping the Americans fight the French and Indian war. The Americans paid the tax, as it was their duty, and seeing as England was their “mother country”. The Americans however were unhappy about paying the tax because the English law stated that parliament had the right to tax, and the colonists were not allowed to have representatives in neither the House of Commons nor the House of Representatives. This angered the colonists because it was taxation without representation. All the rights, which their forefathers had fought for with the Petition of rights and the English bill of rights, had been forsaken because they were now living on a different continent. The Declaratory Tax led the English to take action, which they did in 1770 with the Boston massacre, where certain English soldiers shot into a rioting crowd and killed many people, including one African American he was the first black person to be killed in the beginning of what led up to be the revolutionary war.

Re: WEll...there goes my life again...
Posted by sammie on Tue Oct 30 14:22:38 2001 (#11412)

i bet that felt good to get that all out. i hope you and your mom make up because it does sound like she is trying to help you out. I think your sister will cope with her brother for awhile. we all have to learn to adjust with what god gave us. times do get rough but that also can turn around for the better. i do know how you feel. i had to share a room with my brother when i was 9 and he was 11 and we fought like cats and dogs and finally my mom did have to seperate us. so hopefully after awhile all three of you will have your own space but be patience and just keep expressing your feelings hear b/c i know it helps me.

sammie

i dont have much to say but......
Posted by Amanda on Tue Oct 30 16:52:17 2001 (#11415)

its hard to respond to some post but i feel its best to try!

i hope you and your mum can sort things out, i know what its like to not get on with parents, i dont get on very well with my mum. but keep trying, it can only get better....i hope! lol. it sounds like a tough problem but im sure if you talk it through with her and see if you can find a better way of dealing with things. it might help.

Love, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: WEll...there goes my life again...
Posted by Elizabeth on Tue Oct 30 18:50:36 2001 (#11418)

Do you think you can talk things out with your mom again and come to a happy medium so that you don't have to live with your dad any more? Maybe it will only be a short while that your sister and brother have to share a room. Talk to your mom about getting a new price from a different contractor and maybe the addition can start soon. Do you really hate your mom? And why do you want to move out of your dad's so bad?

Re: WEll...there goes my life again...
Posted by *Poison on Tue Oct 30 23:53:24 2001 (#11424)

no, i don't really hate my mom, she works really hard for her kids and everything, it's jsut that she doesn't make smart decisions. and that annoys me a whole lot because i can see where she is making the mistakes, and she is too stubborn to even listen to my suggestions. and what i thought was correct my mom was wrong on the price, i knew she didn't know what she was talking about. grr i hate that. i don't know i just guess it bothers me that i know my mom deserves better than her fiance who sits on his ass and does jack shit, and my mom is soo shy that she can't stand up to him and so everyone suffers. it jsut makes me so mad becasue i always have to act like the mother to get something done in that house and then i get in trouble for it.

Re: WEll...there goes my life again...
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 31 01:40:57 2001 (#11426)

hehe, nice to see you do your homework. :) Anyway, Im sorry , Like ive said many times before, parents werent born knowing how to act like parents you know. It actually is a tough job and I will give your mom credit for *trying* ya know..Im sorry she doesnt pay attention like you would like her to. Im sorry I dont know what to say, only that I hope your doing alright, and set an example for yourself, strive to be better then your mother( not saying that your mothers bad). but you know what I mean. and take care sweetie, good luck LOVE-kat

I want to slit my throat
Posted by Alana on Tue Oct 30 06:04:57 2001 (#11406)

I want to fuckin slit my throat right now. I can't control what I feel, and it's getting the best of me. I honestly had a breakdown - a trip I guess you could call it. I can't be insane. Better be dead than insane. I need to cut! It's been so long....at least 15 days since I last picked up the box from in my beside table drawer, took out my fresh razor and sliced my wrist. I love to watch the blood trickle down my hand onto the floor - beautiful and blissful.

I would love to just really fuck up my arms right now. I don't like to see them healing - it feels wrong. I feel like I'm letting myself down by not cutting. Who will I be if I don't cut? It's the only Alana I know.

I want to slit my throat.

Love, ALANA

Re: I want to slit my throat
Posted by kae on Tue Oct 30 10:17:51 2001 (#11409)

alana.....please stop and think what has happened to you. you've gotten fully caught up into the cycle of cutting - and now u dont believe you can ever stop. i can relate to that completely. i hold myself together by cutting, it keeps me in control of myself and my emotions. it makes me feel like i have something to fall back on. but its still wrong.

lets think about this in a different sense. imagine yourself when you were eight. young, innocent, happy, playing with barbie dolls and giggling in class. you would never have imagined yourself growing up to cut your body.

you are still that eight year old girl, but you have now seen a different side of life. you have learned that life is cruel and that sometimes it hurts too much to keep your pain inside. and so you cut your flesh in an effort to heal your pain. but it doesnt last. you simply become angrier, sadder, and hate yourself more and more. this reinforces your cutting, and it goes round and round.

marilyn manson said "the only way out of hell is to go right through it". its true. you have to fight the pain you're feeling from this shitty world and try to deal with it in other ways, ways you might have used if you were eight years old again. well, whatever age you feel you were perfectly stable at. cutting and hating yourself is only going to make your life spiral deeper into hell.....and that will take you nowhere. but thinking positively, thinking of the good times and what you can do for yourself will bring you out of hell and back into peace. once you are here, you can realise that you conquered the shit that the world threw at you and are now stronger for it.

i hope some of this made sense.

good luck, hun.

luv 'n hugz, kae

Re: I want to slit my throat
Posted by Amanda on Tue Oct 30 16:57:00 2001 (#11416)

alana, the only thing i can say to you is PLS PLS PLS PLS dont cut your throat. i dont remember where i heard it but someone said that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. problems go away, it takes time, work and determination but they can go away. look at yourself, you have done an incredable thing by not cutting for that long. WELL DONE YOU. now all you have to do is keep it up. dont let yourself slip back into that violent circle again. you are strong enough to break that circle....OK!?! well done again and try your hardest to keep it up.

Love, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: I want to slit my throat
Posted by Erin on Tue Oct 30 21:32:57 2001 (#11422)

that was said really well..

Re: I want to slit my throat
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 31 01:43:16 2001 (#11427)

Alana....Im sorry. I thought I knew what to say to people because Ive been through most of the shit they have, but when it comes to you, your emotions are so strong and it reminds me of when I was so soo close to death. I dont know what to say but please keep breathing and take care , wait until things calm down. You knowit'll get better...love ya much -KAT

Re: I want to slit my throat
Posted by Tara's Mom on Wed Oct 31 02:10:57 2001 (#11431)

Alana, This may sound silly, but I'd rather see you cut your arm than your throat. Please don't hurt yourself that way. If you want to talk, just email me. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Complete and utter apathy?
Posted by Drew on Tue Oct 30 10:49:36 2001 (#11411)

What the hell happened to me?…. I used to read every post and respond to as many as I could.(back in the day)(I don’t know why I added that) Any-who I was a cutter (stopped and haven’t since around apr.although there were some close calls.) and I was trying my best to help people. Now though I read a few here and there respond to some but I just can’t seam to care about it.

I mean I try and I want to be helpful to everybody in this room, you guys (and girls) helped me stop and I feel really bad that I can’t bring myself to any kind of emotion about your post. What the hell is wrong with me? It’s like I’m going for the biggest asshole in the whole world prize. I have absolutely no emotion whatsoever when I read most of your post. I’M SORRY!!! I try but errrrrrrr. And no I’m not a sociopath. I think maybe I’m just a deep rooted jerk or something. Sorry bout not caring bout you people. (oh man! That sounds so bad) so yeah… I’m just going to go now, maybe later I will redevelop my frontal lobe and have something worth posting.

TTFN

thecutthatneverheals... .

you can only do so much
Posted by Marie on Tue Oct 30 15:30:13 2001 (#11413)

Drew, You don't have to feel bad for things you can't fix... I really don't think that it's that you don't care - if you didn't care you wouldn't come to the board at all, but obviously you do... You won't always have the right words... and sometimes, just knowing that someone will read what has been written is enough... we don't always need confirmation of our emotion... just an ear will do.... Thanks for being honest, and I'm glad you're not cutting... I'm trying to quit myself... it's been just over a month and a half and it gets harder every day... Luck and hugs... Marie

an ear or a word....
Posted by Amanda on Tue Oct 30 16:45:34 2001 (#11414)

either is better than nothing. knowing a post was read, understood and noted gives a feeling of relief just as much as a word in responce. the fact that you fel no emotion....if it was me id proberbly say that it was because you have got rid of the wmotion that caused you to cut so letting yourself feel our emotion is not a thing you can do. you have detatched yourself from those feelings so it is bound to be hard to feel what we are feeling. hope that helped. Love, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: Complete and utter apathy?
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 31 01:35:49 2001 (#11425)

I think your so immuned and used to it all its nothing new and its not shocking. I can't say that I completely understand where your coming from but I can tell you that I would never hold it against someone for not caring, and thats the truth. I dont think its your fault and Im not blaming you for not caring, Im glad you want to care but it just seems that the feelings cant come out, its okay Drew. I hope your alright, I dont think we've ever met Im jessica (KAT). anyway..take care wherever life runs ya Love-KAT

Re: Complete and utter apathy?
Posted by Tara's Mom on Wed Oct 31 02:04:31 2001 (#11429)

That's okay Drew, sometimes I don't know how to respond either. I can't think of words to say that I think will help so I don't write anything at all. I know that's bad and I'm trying to change that aspect. If I screw up, ya'll let me know, like you shouldn't have said that or that was a dumb thing to say. I just worry about pissing people off sometimes so I don't say nothing. Maybe I'll just start offering hugs. Take care everyone. Love, Rhonda

MISS FUCKING WORLD
Posted by Jenny on Tue Oct 30 19:17:11 2001 (#11419)

you post ere and dont write to me!!! Life is one fucking mess, i dont know if you get the magasine anywhere where you live its clled sugar. There is an article in there on some one who cuts, her scars look so painfull.but its here way! You should get the mag is good.

I think my klife is one fucking mess, something happened today and i went down the pan big time, anbd no fucking one cared unough to come with me i went by myself. I hate tis fucking work.

who the hell do some people think they are MISS FUCKING WORLD???!

Dont worry, just me ranting and raving, ill be ok soon if im still ere, just going now to take a big slice outa my wrist so deep you can see bone.

love you all loads and ill miss ya be stay safe thax to everyone ere

Re: MISS FUCKING WORLD
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 31 01:45:09 2001 (#11428)

its kind of a scary thought that SI is out there being exposed to people who otherwise would of never known about it, Kinda like giving kids an idea to solve problems, it scares me. Im sorry, Im sorry I hope your feeling well, please dont hurt yourself because hurt ontop of hurt is never good..try and heel. Things will get better, love ya very much -KAT

Re: MISS FUCKING WORLD
Posted by Tara's Mom on Wed Oct 31 02:07:40 2001 (#11430)

I hope you feel better soon Jenny. Take care of yourself and here's a hug for you. ((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))) )))))))))))))) Love, Rhonda

Re: MISS FUCKING WORLD
Posted by kae on Wed Oct 31 10:59:02 2001 (#11442)

JENNY!!!

please dont do anything, honey.

BE CAREFUL. the world is full of enough pain without us creating more.

"the only way through hell is to go through it, all the way to the bottom." - Marilyn Manson

luv 'n hugz, kae

Re: MISS FUCKING WORLD
Posted by Jenny on Wed Oct 31 13:16:47 2001 (#11443)

Hey well.......................... .............................. .............. I didnt do it! Im still ere and in one piece, i guess i woz just feeling really down yesterday and need to say how I feel and for someone to listen to me. Kae this message woznt ment for you just saying that you neva emailed me yesterday!!! Im gona email you but it will be later as im at school at the mo and im sat next to a teacher so this is really dodgy riting this I shouldnt be doing it!!

Life is still poo,i have something major to do tomorrow but dont have time to prepare for it properly!!

If I could change my life, who I am I would to be born again would be my wish alwayz!

Im going trick or treating to nite with my little sister it should be good then im egging places.

Gotta go hes looking loove ya jen

these ppl need help
Posted by laura-anne on Tue Oct 30 19:22:52 2001 (#11420)

me personally used to cut my wrists becos i am overweight and i know wot suffering ppl go through wen they do this. in art at the mo im doing my g.c.s.e on self harm and would be delighted if anyone who does slit their body for wotever reason pls contact me by emailing me at the above adress daisychps@hotmail.com please i wud appreciate it.

Re: these ppl need help
Posted by Jenny on Wed Oct 31 13:20:23 2001 (#11444)

Hey wot are oy mad? Your treating this whole thing like a joke, doing your G.c.s.es on this who the hell would like to look at cuts and stuff? not "normail" ppl cutters would be not "normal" ppl. Ill email you to find out what exactly you are doing but hey you can email me

Jenny pls read
Posted by Amanda on Wed Oct 31 16:24:54 2001 (#11450)

jenny i am doing GCSE art and i am intending on doing a project on SI. i dont know if laura ann has similar ideas but i was planning on using my art to show the pain and emotions behind it. she may not want to use actual pictures of cuts and stuff so try not to fly off the handle at her, talk it over calmly and find out her reasons behind it......oh and using the word normal....there is no normal. Love Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

its me again
Posted by laura anne on Wed Oct 31 17:13:46 2001 (#11452)

look by doing self harm in my g.c.s.e doesnt mean im taking it for granted i am doing exactly what amanda said showing the pain and emotion ppl go through. my m8 does it and i used to do it becos i was depressed and i have stupid m8s who take the issue as a atention seeking thing wen it is not and we all know that.i want to prove to these ppl that not all ppl who cut them selves need help anmd the reasons for doing it.

new here...
Posted by Erin on Wed Oct 31 02:24:22 2001 (#11432)

I've been reading some of the posts for awhile but I never really started posting or anything...I dont even know why. I've never really talked to anyone who cuts themselves too. I dunno if I'd be any help either but..I read mostly all the posts and everything. anyway, this is a little introduction. my name's erin, i'm 15 and I cut myself.

Re: new here...
Posted by KAT on Wed Oct 31 02:29:52 2001 (#11433)

Welcome Erin. Im sorry you've had to come here, but Im glad you've found us. This boards helped me alot, maybe even more then my therapist has. so I hope it works out for you and take care of yourself, E-mail me anytime you wanna talk about anything. Im jessica (KAT). Im 16 and I love your e-mail name heh. anyway take care sweetie LOVE-KAT

Re: new here...
Posted by Erin on Wed Oct 31 03:11:09 2001 (#11434)

thanks jessica :) thats my best friends name too. I don't have a therapist or anything but hopefully this board will help me.

Re: new here...
Posted by Dawn on Wed Oct 31 06:20:03 2001 (#11436)

Welcome Erin for coming out of the shadows and introducing yourself. I hope we can help you on your journey. You know yourself better than anyone, so don't be shy to ask for what you need.

If youv'e been reading the posts and responses you probably know a lot about us. Post for anyone you relate to or just throw it out there and see what you get. But stay safe and stock up on all the love...Dawn

HEY!!!!!
Posted by Amanda on Wed Oct 31 16:21:01 2001 (#11449)

welcome to our haven! (hehe i like that word) no one here will judge you or anything like that. btw my name is amanda im also 15 and im trying not to cut. Love Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: new here...
Posted by ~~~ on Wed Oct 31 17:42:06 2001 (#11453)

I don't post here often... but Hello and I hope to see you around :)

Butterfly

Re: new here...
Posted by Tara's Mom on Thu Nov 1 01:14:41 2001 (#11456)

Hi Erin, Welcome to the board. This is a great place to come for support. Write me if you ever want to. Take care. Love, Rhonda

hi - can anyone help me
Posted by hystericalanduseless on Wed Oct 31 04:38:54 2001 (#11435)

hi everyone - this is my first time here.i'm 19 and have been cutting and burning for 5 years. i just got out of mental hospital (again) where i've endured 8 months in there in total and 2 courses of electro-convulsive therapy. nothing helped me. i'm only out 'cos i learned to lie better. i just want to cut myself to the bone and bleed to death slowly and quietly (soundtrack - No Surprises by Radiohead). i just don't know what to do. i can't go back to hospital i can't cope with life i just want it all to stop. sorry to ramble on people but things are getting pritty shitty. anyway, maybe someone will reply. together we're stonger. bye xxx

Re: hi - can anyone help me
Posted by Dawn on Wed Oct 31 06:30:09 2001 (#11437)

I've only been held captive 2 or 3 days at a time, but from my experience when you are held captive the one thing you want most is to as you say get out and cut-- and do it deep.

I hope you know you don't have to do that. we care here. We listen to rants and others listen to my "lectures". I don't intend for them to be seen as lectures. I am just an old cutter with a fair amount of wisdom to pass on, and I have faith in a Living God who hold me up and reminds me when I OD that I don't really want to die and pick up the phone and get me some help QUICK.

Email me if you want to talk, maybe we can be messenger buddies. Any way this is a 24 hr, round the world site to people come and go all the time. Welcom aboard

Re: hi - can anyone help me
Posted by kae on Wed Oct 31 10:37:37 2001 (#11440)

hi hun....

it'd be good if you could come here a bit and share what you're feeling....a problem shared is a problem halved (or so it goes). but we all meet on here to talk about any shit thats going down, and help each other out.

could you tell us a bit more about yourself? interests, hobbies, dislikes, etc? where you live, family?

luv 'n hugz, kae

Re: hi - can anyone help me
Posted by Amanda on Wed Oct 31 16:18:15 2001 (#11448)

"maybe someone will reply, together we're stronger" i have never heard such a true saying! that may be why this place can help you, it may help you to be stronger in yourself. we will try and help. (my way of saying WELCOME to our haven) Love, Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: hi - can anyone help me
Posted by Tara's Mom on Thu Nov 1 01:19:32 2001 (#11459)

I'm sorry you're having so many problems. Welcome to the board. This is a really good place to come. There is so much support here that I consider us all family. I don't cut, but I'm here because I care and want to help in any way I can. If you ever feel like talking to an adult who won't judge you, just email me. I'm here every evening. Take care. Love, Rhonda

Re: hi - can anyone help me
Posted by KAT on Fri Nov 2 00:03:35 2001 (#11493)

Hi there, I understand about the hospitals. haha.....they let you out once you've perfected your lying techniques. they just stold my parents money while I got sicker, anyways. Im not sure what to say to you but to hang in there and take care becasue your precious to me. Anyone who cuts is precious to me because in my eyes they are just like me. The pain the people on this board have had to deal with is extremly terrible, so therefore like you said together we're strong. Hang in there *hugz* much lova to you -KAT

GOOD NEWS ABOUT BECKY
Posted by Dawn on Wed Oct 31 06:38:11 2001 (#11438)

She has emailed me twice. She is in counseling 5 days a week. She says she doesn't think she will come back to the board. Maybe that is a good idea for awhile, but I bet she could sure use some encouraging e-mails :-) Dawn

I didn't cut but it was difficult not to
Posted by Dawn on Wed Oct 31 06:51:41 2001 (#11439)

It seems that tv is showing a lot of shows involving child sexual abuse and sexual assaults lately, even in family sitcoms, it is also on the news. Well it floored me last night. I cried, I put away dishes and picked up in the kitchen but I did not cut.

OH HOW I WANTED TO

But I also want surgery on my thumb and I had an appointment with the surgeon today and figured he may not do surgery if I'm doing it on myself, so I didn't cut.

Next week we are going to do the EMDR treatment I spoke about several months ago. I am anxious to do it and be free of mental images of sexual assaults and the feelings surrounding them. But I want to cut, maybe not today, or even tomorrow, but soon.... right now my leg hurts. Physical pain stops me from cutting. I don't know why but it does. Later :-) Dawn

For Dawn
Posted by kae on Wed Oct 31 10:48:27 2001 (#11441)

hi dawn

umm can i just ask how old you are? you say you have children. i havent been on here long enough to work out everyones backgrounds.

sweet az

kae

Re: I didn't cut but it was difficult not to
Posted by sammie on Wed Oct 31 14:51:44 2001 (#11447)

that is good that you have not cut. i know it is hard but keep up the good work. think of happy times and keep talking and being around loved ones. i find when i'am alone and depressed and can not find anyone to talk too is when i cut but finding this post and being able to read about other people and responding to them keeps me sane and from cutting as often.

i'm here for support

sammie

Kae and Sammie
Posted by Dawn on Thu Nov 1 01:15:47 2001 (#11458)

Thank you for your support. It means a lot. I'm crying.

Re: Kae and Sammie
Posted by Tara's Mom on Thu Nov 1 01:24:27 2001 (#11460)

Dawn, You are an inspiration to me to continue to do better in my life. I haven't had it any where near as bad as you, so I just remember when I'm feeling down that you are one of the strongest people I know, and if you can survive, so can I. Take care, sister! I love ya lots and lots. Love, Rhonda

Re: I didn't cut but it was difficult not to
Posted by KAT on Fri Nov 2 00:06:56 2001 (#11494)

good luck on your treatments Dawn. Im sorry you've got that little pest on your shoulder, the one who's telling you to cut because it'll feel so good. I know, it's tough, hang in there, I know ya can *hugs* love -KAT

ah feck
Posted by jes on Wed Oct 31 14:20:39 2001 (#11445)

i did it again. i was doing so well. not a well as i've done in the past but still good all the same. it was over a week. and b4 that, over 2 weeks. it's like, i do it, scare myself cos i don't want to go down that road again, then i just get all fucked up and scared that i can't cope without it. is that as stupid as it sounds? i can't live like this but i can't change it. i can't do it. there's always something to make it bad again, usually me. i'm a weak, pathetic, useless individual without whom the world would be a better place. feck. love n hugs, jo xx

Re: ah feck
Posted by Amanda on Wed Oct 31 16:28:37 2001 (#11451)

you may feel pathetic, usless ect but you're not. you are an indiviual being who has the right to live in peace and with love in your heart.this right can be clouded by emotion but you must fight for it, it's worth having.

Love Trust and Pixi Dust, Amanda

Re: ah feck
Posted by Dawn on Thu Nov 1 01:26:22 2001 (#11461)

It is tough looking into the future. Our inner eyes get jaded by the present and we panic. And like you did, we go to the sourse we think will make us calm down. I know what that is like, I'm fighting not to give in to the lie. But life goes on Jes, every minute is a fresh start. Hold on to that. I think you are a good person fighting a war of emotions and bad thinking. Think of the best place you've ever been and go there in your mind and find the peace there. Practice that and when the bad times comes maybe you'll go there rather than to your weapons. I love you stay safe... Dawn

Re: ah feck
Posted by Tara's Mom on Thu Nov 1 01:30:10 2001 (#11462)

Jes, Please believe me, you are not weak, pathetic or useless. You do give something to this board and people do listen to you. Email me if you're feeling bad. I truly do care and worry about you. Take care. Love, Rhonda

ignore me, i talk rubbish, it's a vent s'pose
Posted by jo (jes) on Thu Nov 1 14:34:36 2001 (#11474)

i wish i was as strong as ppl think. as i want to be. maybe i am? i mean, i'm not dead yet am i? but then, just cos i'm not dead, doesn't mean i can cope, or am coping. maybe it just means i'm a coward too. i live only for other ppl, if it was just me i wouldn't.

sorry this is depressing, i just nned to get it out. love n hugs xx

Re: ah feck
Posted by KAT on Fri Nov 2 00:10:25 2001 (#11495)

those feelings suck. Those useless hopeless worthless.....(bad bad) feelings that come in your head and fuck you up. they are doing their job , making you believe all those things, but sweetie Im sure your none of those things. Please take care, we can all start over if we give in, over and over...it doesnt mean we've lost. take care of yourself love KAT

thanks everyone :)
Posted by Erin on Wed Oct 31 22:45:20 2001 (#11455)

thanks to everyone who welcomed me :) I'm from ohio by the way...I think I remember someone saying they're from ohio too...can't remember though..

Re: thanks everyone :)
Posted by *me* on Thu Nov 1 01:15:07 2001 (#11457)

Hey welcome..just checked the boards and was gonna reply to ur first post...but I'm gonna ply to this one instead! This board is a really great place and without it I might not be here. BTW, I'm the one from Ohio. Where abouts are you in it? You don't have to tell if u don't want to. I know I don't like giving away too much PI. Ok well take care and stay safe! Lots of love.

Re: thanks everyone :)
Posted by Erin on Thu Nov 1 02:38:57 2001 (#11464)

I live in a little town that I'm 99.9% certain you haven't heard of....lol its about an hour maybe north of youngstown though...where you from? you can email it to me or something if you'd like. i dont care

Re: thanks everyone :)
Posted by *me* on Sat Nov 3 01:19:54 2001 (#11534)

Hey! Well, I don't think we live in the same town, bc I'm near Cleveland. We're sort of close though. lol.

Lots of love.

Re: thanks everyone :)
Posted by Erin on Sat Nov 3 02:31:53 2001 (#11541)

thats cool...still pretty close though. I'm only like an hour and a half maybe from cleveland. lol

For the new people
Posted by Dawn on Thu Nov 1 01:36:32 2001 (#11463)

At the very top of this page are some things you can use to learn about people. You can set preferences for how far back you want to read posts. You can set up how posts are listed. And you can do searches and type in someones username and read their post back to when they first started posting and you might learn a lot about people you connect with. For instance you can go back and read who I am where I live. what my past has been like, and where I stand spiriually. My old username was overcoming-1. You can find out lots of information if you are interested it knowing more about the people on this board. I better stop or I will get another email or response telling me to stop lecturing. Love to all...Dawn

Re: For the new people
Posted by Erin on Thu Nov 1 02:40:18 2001 (#11467)

thanks for the info. I didnt know all that lol

Re: For the new people
Posted by KAT on Fri Nov 2 02:22:48 2001 (#11509)

Hey Dawn, its kinda wierd. I looked back to my first post and some of my older posts, pretty scary how far I was in depression. ah...its kinda neat to see how people progress over time. Id like to read your first post.
:) love KAT

Currents
Posted by Jen on Thu Nov 1 02:39:54 2001 (#11465)

Secret longing An endless pang The silence echoes Around me As I sit Perched on my bed In my prison cell Here in my parent’s house Drown in the web of lies Spun to protect myself The only thing it succeeded In doing Was entrapping me In this state of Suspension

Obsessing over the little things Gaining some sort of control Over the surrounding and ever-growing Chaos of my mind Denial with every fiber of My being Relinquished nightmares Of disturbed minds And joining them In their bout Of madness

Your eyes betray you Your whispers of faith Of believing me More lies to add to The web that covers me

Another soldier falls Will I be next? Time off requests made And worriedly granted Hushed tones quickly cease Upon the presence of The fallen soldier

Words of encouragement offered Cookies of diversion given Urges to explode in anger The pain seeping from the veins Diverted, forgotten; the void within Momentarily filled

Promises of hope Long forgotten Shattered under the weight Of the enduring silence Acknowledgement is not a part Of this family’s life Shallow explanations Hollow apologies With mirror image Forgiveness

All seems well upon the surface But the current underneath Surges with an anger Yet to be discovered The danger of the current Not known

Tip-toe around Walk on eggshells We all know your Disturbed thoughts Your terrible secrets Lower your sword Unshield yourself We will not harm you False cease-fires called The second your guard drops Attacks will resume

The growing-up process halted By the need to survive The emotional ice age Brought on by unaccepting And the impending silence

The foundation is cracked and leaking Duct tape is carelessly Put up to cover the unsightly Wounds No explanation is demanded None is given Never spoken of are the reasons Nor the currents that rage within

Play your part Memorize your lines Agreement to the destruction Of self A never ending tirade The circle of madness Continues passing through Generations of innocent

Expectations firmly stated Punishments never bearable Prayers lost and unheard By the unseen being

Scars run deep within The veins of the lamb The slip of a sheer Angry red fire pumping From the life of the Defenseless soul

False pretenses Blindly believed The children taking the hand That stole their smiles Protection of the only Normal ever known

Deep down terror lingers Images flash in the minds eye Horrific memories sealed off The mind too fragile To bear the weight Of actualization

Truth known in the soul Refused to be known in the mind A never ending battle Rages inside Control shifted

Self-discovered sixth sense of Physical pains soothing ability Punishing the body so The soul will survive Screams of anger Painted with each slice

Owning the pain as it surges From the veins Given strength with each pump Of the heart Each beat a reminder to breathe Oxygen-the life giving element Spooling the acquired memories The pain continues to seep

Open wounds haphazardly Covered No attention is drawn near To discovery Impending guilt overcomes The impressionable Unspoken demands and Silenced questions

Urges to scream out with each Painful beat of the heart Curbed by the sight Of the paralyzing effect of physical pain On gorged wounds

The unacknowledged current of anger Surges with new found strength And drives itself inward Impaling the heart Like a rusting nail

That was beautiful, Jen
Posted by Marie on Thu Nov 1 15:35:30 2001 (#11476)

I love the way your words flow... beautiful and disconcerting at the same time... I loved your post, I believe it speaks what all of us aren't saying...

Re: That was beautiful, Jen
Posted by Becks on Thu Nov 1 21:41:09 2001 (#11483)

That was amazing! I would love to be able to wirte anything as powerfula ndmeaningful as that! wow!

Re: That was beautiful, Jen
Posted by Becks on Thu Nov 1 21:42:04 2001 (#11484)

That was amazing! I would love to be able to write anything as powerful and meaningful as that! wow!

I've felt that way before, now I'm better
Posted by Dawn on Fri Nov 2 06:17:36 2001 (#11516)

Jen; you write well. Literature professors stress the importance of writing what you know. And you did just that.

I've known that undercurrent, not too many years ago that could have been me you wrote about. But time and a lot of perserverence has brought me to a place where my life is not governed by the current. I hope that one day the same will be true for you:-) Dawn

Currents
Posted by Jen on Thu Nov 1 02:40:05 2001 (#11466)