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Amanda
Copyright, Amanda
Hello. My name is Amanda. I'm 24, I have a beautiful 2 and half year old daughter and the most wonderful husband you could ask for.I don't deserve either of them. I'm a livng nightmare. I have bipolar disorder, and to top it off I started cutting about 3 months ago. It was an accident really. In a manical rage I grab a knife and sliced myself.
To late, I was hooked. I found a way to relieve some of the rage I keep locked away in my mind. Nobody knows, yet. I cut in places that I can hide, at least for now I do. Every cut goes deeper and deeper. I've already scarred myself in places. I can't imagine what I'm going to look like a year from now. I want to stop it, but it's my Rx for relief, and I just can't seem to stop!
A beautiful daughter, a caring, devouted husband...
Cutting is just one more hell that I'm subjecting them too. And they don't deserve it. I need help, but I'm scared. I've been in hospitals before because of my bipolar. They were horrible visits! If getting help means goin to another one, then I'll die a cutter. But my mind tells me there must be another way. I've survivrd sexual, mental and physical abuse over the years of my life, and I conquered them. Yet I can't conquer my latest misery. No, there must be something you can tell me to help. I'm begging you!
Save me from myself.