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Ashley

Copyright, Ashley

What do you do when you dont feel pain from cutting anymore and its just the sight of blood? Well I tell u what I did I began to burn Myself with candle wax and lighters. Why because I need to feel pain again the sight of blood running from my cuts didnt work anymore. So I cut my arms and my legs my thighs and my wrists? Why because the phisical pain to my mental pain away. It releaved my stress but it would always come back at first I only did it about once a month even going back over old scars cos the sight of scars made me sadder I didnt want them but I also couldnt find a new way to discard my pain.It hurt for a while but I got immune to the pain of slicing things that I put hot melted candle wax on my cuts it was working again my pain went away. Now I am going to counsoling because I wrote a poem about how I was going to commit suicide and things like that.. I am still harming myself I get mad and hold in my anger then I realse it when Im alone in my room I cut open my arm and drip in the wax. I need help and it isnt coming fast enough! How do I stop will it ever go away I am afraid that the next time I do something Im going to kill myself and I really dont want to die but if I know it will stop the pain then I will do anything. Can you give me advice and help me along with my counslors advice?