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Gambling

Copyright, Mego

the screams that come from my closed mouth
are what keep me awake
the pills i swallowed a minute ago
were more than i should take
the wind screams outside in the cold
and echoes throughout the room
my heart is cold but my skin is warm
in this dark and lonely tomb
the blood that flows from my skin
will leave a scar tomorrow
will i be around for that
or will i drown in blood and sorrow
these words that trigger some
to find their precious releif
are more powerful than anything
and are my only beleif
my laughter is convincing
i put on a good show
cover up the pretty cuts
nobody will ever know
only i know inside
that nothing is okay
nothing has ever worked out for me
not tomorrow, not today
i walk on in a daze
and nothing is real
i don't know how to love
i dont know how to feel
i'm afraid of affection
i'm so vulnerable and bare
never again will i ever expect
anyone to care
i'm sorry to everyone
for these red tears that stain
i'm sorry to everyone
because i caused you pain
but for every day thats passed
something more i gain
another heartache to eat me away
something else that tells me i'm not sane
crying for what had happened before
nothing can be the same
i decided to gamble and i lost
i'm terrible at this game