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Threads 51 to 75

remember me?
Posted by Sharon on Fri Dec 14 05:12:33 2001 (#208)

Wow, it's so great to see all of you "old Canada people"! I didn't realize how much I missed you guys 'til just now!
Anyway, life's been pretty ok-ish for me, very busy with midterms coming up and all, but I'm handling it ok. It's been about a month since I last cut, go me! LOL.
I hope everyone's doing alright, glad to see y'all again, stay safe.
hugs,
Sharon
Ps. I'm actually going to the "real" Canada for the holidays! lol

Re: remember me?
Posted by Aukee on Fri Dec 14 21:03:55 2001 (#215)

hey i remember you, but im sure you dont remember me because i am using a difrernt name. have fun in CANADA, ill see you soon in our own canada.

Blessed Be

Aukee

Re: remember me?
Posted by *me* on Sat Dec 15 03:03:20 2001 (#219)

Welcome back sweetie! Good job on the no cutting - I'm proud of you!

Re: remember me?
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 01:39:28 2001 (#254)

How cool! Let me know if you see our house. Go by the pond and see the turtles for me. Also, look into my room. I think I left a candle lit. Feel free to hang out on my bean bags. Take care and have fun. Huge Hugs!!
Nuni

Re: remember me?
Posted by Maggie on Mon Dec 17 01:42:26 2001 (#255)

Of course I remember you! My room was probably on the same floor as yours. Mines the one with turtle wallpaper and a huge balcony. I drove my bike into the white picket fence, and it needs mending. Sorry guys! I think Lori made another batch of those weird cookies again and Laura has left her Sarah Macluclinn CD on repeat.
Have fun there!
Luv Maggie.

Re: remember me?
Posted by Sharon on Thu Dec 20 02:39:20 2001 (#322)

LOL, you guys are great! Yeah, I'll make sure I go by and say hey to the house. I'll put up my punching bag in my room in case y'all need to vent! :) Well, that's it for now, see ya later!
hugs,
Sharon

Very Disturbing
Posted by Linda on Fri Dec 14 06:00:25 2001 (#209)

I know that many of you are very conditioned to pain and violence. I ,for one, am not. You all opened a new door to that for me.
I don't know what to say about this but I challenge you each to go to this website if you are curious at all about hell and whether it exists. I know we all must make our own decision by faith but I think it is fair for all to have the opportunity to check this out. http://www.av1611.org /hell.html
Before going there, I will warn you this is a VERY RELIGIOUS SITE

Re: Very Disturbing
Posted by Maggie on Fri Dec 14 10:39:16 2001 (#210)

DISCLAIMER: This message contains religious content. To those who resent religious-talk on this board, this is your cue to stop reading. Otherwise please do not comment unless it's in an non-provocing/judging manner.

Hey Linda!
I read through the site and it's quite disturbing. Personally I'm not convinced about the validity that hell is a physical place, and especially a place 50 miles under my feet. In my scientific mind I think there are other explanations for those recorded screams. But all the same the evidence is interesting.
I'm definately not trying to dig a debate here, I'm merely curious about a few things, and some of points raised on that site made me wanna discuss it more.
Firstly, why would a forgiving God who made each of us in his image, send us to a place that horrible? I know we have free-will and choices to follow his lead, but if we are supposed to forgive our neighbour 7x70 times then why wouldn't God forgive us to? What constitutes a mortal sin and one that is forgiveable?

My personal believe about hell is that it is a 'separation from God'. I don't believe in the whole burning fire thing and I don't believe in the devil either. My view is that that if you refuse to acknowledge God, when placed IN HIS PRESENSE after death, then we will just never get to know him. (ie: hell=separation from God) A worser hell than fire,in my mind, is never knowing you even existed... I think the whole fire thing is just another example of the metaphors and parables that the bible is full of. The old testament catered to the fearful side of people and the new testament is full of hope and forgiveness. With such a contrast in teaching, surely it's not realible to take all the bible says literally at face value. There's a lot of value and important messages in there, but I think that what we absorb should be put into historical context... that's my main gripe with the whole fire + hell thing.
Once again that is just my interpretation...and I'm just sharing it with you. I'd also be interested in your take on what I just said. You're really knowlegable whereas I'm more opinionated... can you answer some of my above questions?
Thanks.

Re: Very Disturbing
Posted by Linda on Fri Dec 14 15:54:20 2001 (#212)

Maggie....just wanted to let you know that I read your response and have printed it out so that I can put some thought into this before I answer. I have a very busy day and weekend following so it may be Monday before I get back to it but I WILL be back. Thanks for your sweet attitude. Hope your still in the states having a good time!!

Re: Very Disturbing
Posted by Nuni on Fri Dec 14 18:02:35 2001 (#213)

It scared me. I dont know what to believe, and I am pretty naive sometimes.

Maggie's Answer-LONG & RELIGIOUS
Posted by Linda on Fri Dec 14 23:01:39 2001 (#217)

Well, Maggie....I just couldn’t wait to answer this so here I am back already! Yes and to those of you that, as Maggie said before, prefer to not participate in religious talk this is your warning that the following WILL be offensive.
You raised some very interesting questions. In every belief there needs to be a foundation and I am anchored to the Bible as God’s word to us. I believe it to be infallible and a commentary on itself. Yes, I do realize that the scriptures have been translated into different languages and even different versions of the same language. I do have my preferences as to which version I would trust over another but that is unimportant. I believe that the Word of God will stand true through whatever thorough inspection we may give it.
With that as my foundation, it leaves me no room for supposition or private interpretation. I will admit to you that many times I struggle with my own questions, especially in regards to why I, through no choice of my own, was born to a family that became Christians and gave me a loving and safe environment to mature in, while others suffer under intense physical and emotional pain. And, I am not sure that I have all the answers to that one.
With the understanding that I am being authoritative only on the basis of the Bible then I will try to give an explanation for the questions you asked.
Your first question was “why would a forgiving God who made each of us in his image, send us to a place that horrible?” I think that probably the greatest mistake we make is in not understanding enough about God. We have made Him to be some loving, father-image, who is a bit like Santa Claus and always turns His head and winks at our mistakes because He loves us so much and wants to make us eternally happy. That is a very false view. God is righteous.........EVERYTHING He does is right. God is holy.......there is NO impurity in Him. In his character, He NEVER changes. He is all knowing. He is all-powerful.
Sometimes I think of Him and wonder how we must appear to Him in our incessant search for all wisdom and our pride in the small amount of knowledge that we have. Surely we must look foolish.
I believe that scripture backs up the fact that God created the world for His own pleasure. At some point He created the angels. I know that you said you do not believe in Satan but scripture declares that he is real. He was an angel of the highest order. In fact, he was the most beautiful angel and the one that was to protect God’s holiness. He made a choice to try to be as God. His pride led him to lead a rebellion against God. He and the angels that chose to follow him were expelled from heaven and allowed to exist on the earth in spiritual form. But he will only be allowed that freedom for a short while. Soon he will be bound and eventually cast into the Lake of Fire.
Back to your question, God created us in His image. He loved us so much that He planned for our redemption and offered it freely to whomever chose. He does not choose to send us to Hell. In fact scripture says that He is “not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” II Peter 3:9b
Scripture also tells us that the “everlasting fire” was prepared for the devil and his angels in Matthew 25:41. So you see, God DID NOT intend that any human be there. It is not His choice for one to be punished there. He has provided ALL that you need to avoid that punishment BUT if you refuse……..sorry…..there is no other choice. (Not works, not baptism, not church membership, not giving money nor even given your life for a good cause-----NOTHING but accepting Jesus Christ’s sacrifice in place of your sin.)
Now, about your comparison of God’s forgiveness to our command to forgive seventy times seven………In context, Jesus was speaking to the Pharisees who were depending on their good works and the fact that they were Jews to get them into heaven. The Pharisees were especially self-righteous, being Jews and being very strict in their adherence of the Mosaic law. They were so strict that they added MANY more laws to the few that God had given to Moses. Surely they were going to heaven, they thought. They were constantly flaunting their own righteousness. Jesus was trying to get them to see that the trouble was on the inside, not the outside. They LOOKED great but the inside was totally incapable of performing the law to perfection. And so it is with us. We MUST have the Holy Spirit within us in order to perform God’s commandments and that is a gift at the time of our acceptance of Jesus death on the cross in our place. So, you see, God created the world; He allowed sin; He provided for the payment of sin; and He gave us a free will to choose what we want to do. The only problem is that there is absolutely nothing He can do to change our destination if we refuse the escape He has made.
Lastly, you asked about what constitues a mortal sin and one that is forgivable…….well, God’s word says nothing about mortal and venial sins. It does mention a “sin unto death”, which we believe to be the rejection of God’s only Son for our only hope. In my Schofield Bible, I read a definition of sin that I will paraphrase. It is an act or violation of the revealed will of God. So therefore, if God’s word condemns the action and we refuse to bring ourselves into submission of His will, that is sin.
The Bible explains that the law was given to us as our schoolmaster because if we had never heard God’s law, we would never be aware that we were sinners. Yet as He made us aware of our sin, He prepared a way of escape. It’s OUR choice.
Hope this helps.

Re: Maggie's Answer-LONG & RELIGIOUS
Posted by Maggie on Sun Dec 16 22:12:28 2001 (#249)

Hey Linda.
Thanks for the really thoughtful response. I appreciated that you took the time to answer my questions.
I would like to continue this conversation, as I still have other things to ask, but am also stuck for time at the moment.
Just letting you know that you can expect a reply soon (email?)...
Take care,
Luv Maggie.

Re: Maggie's Answer-LONG & RELIGIOUS
Posted by Linda on Mon Dec 17 15:19:04 2001 (#271)

You know I'll be glad to get it---email OR post!!

Re: Very Disturbing
Posted by jes on Sat Dec 15 13:48:18 2001 (#222)

it scared me too. sometimes i do believe in god and the devil etc, but sometimes, i'm too scientific for my own good. i haven't got round to reading the whole thing yet cos the nasty librarian is kicking us all out (so what if the place is closing!). but it scared me. i mean, i thought here was bad, but if it does exist, i don't wanna go to hell. where ever it is. but how do we know if we're doing enough to keep us out? i mean, no-one's perfect, there just seems to be so much that you have to be and not be to be even close to fitting into what you're 'meant' to be. i dunno. some of it i find hard to accept, but other bits kinda make sense. it's not just the nice bits i get or vica versa, just some bits i do and others i don't. i'm having enough trouble trying to work out me and God and all that shit withut people putting up stuff ,like that. i mean, yeah, it was interesting and fine, they ahve a message they want to get across. but do they have to be so mean? saying to people 'oh, yeah, ur not good enough, ur going to hell' is not the way to convert people or even bring them closer to believing what ur saying. i think sometimes people of a religious persuasion can get the (and pardon the pun) 'holier than thou' complex.
i know that some of what i just said is off topic and some people may even disagree with me, but i'm not closed to these ideas, just to the way some ppl try to put them across.
ok, gotta go now. xx

Awwwww Jes!
Posted by Linda on Sat Dec 15 16:57:20 2001 (#224)

I surely do understand where you are coming from. That site was VERY scary to me as a Christian. I am not afraid of going there BUT what it said to me is that I'm not understanding how very horrible it is. If I was I would be telling everyone about it. If I truly care about you I MUST warn you!
I answered some of the very questions you asked in my answer to Maggie so I won't go into long detail about it. I will just say that according to the Bible, you do NOT have to DO something in order to avoid Hell. You must only understand that you are a sinner and accept the sacrifice Jesus already made for sin as your own. I John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."
I understand that many people on the board do not believe the Bible and think it is full of contradictions but I believe it to be the truth. John 8:32 "And ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free."
You see, as long as Satan keeps you bound to just trying to analyze and figure things out scientifically, he has you bound to the fact that it seems impossible. Everyone has their own ideas and we are taught that everyone has a right to believe what they want to, and so they do BUT I believe that everyone also has a right to hear the truth! Knowing that there is an unshakeable truth to build on frees you from being bound to figure it out for yourself.
I guarantee you that I have nothing but love in my heart for you and hope that in some way I may lead you to search for the truth! A lack of love would be to keep this knowledge to myself. I know from experience that it is real!!! ((((((Jes)))))

Re: Awwwww Jes!
Posted by jes on Mon Dec 17 00:29:25 2001 (#250)

thanks, i am trying, which is more than i would have done a year ago. which i suppose is a good thing. it scares me tho'. hmmmm, i'm gonna shut up now cos i can go on for ages on this kinda topic. :-) xx

I'm not going to get any friends from saying this.
Posted by cindy on Mon Dec 17 20:18:05 2001 (#274)

although I have no doubt linda that you had the best intentions on posting that link I can't help but thinking it was completely irresponsible...the people on here, including myself, from what I can tell are very vunerable and impressionable. they come here for comfort for understanding and as a medium through which they can express their pain...not to be faced with such horrible ideas as the reality of hell and the supposed screams of the damned...although these are both concepts that an indivdual should rightly address and really dont think here is the time or the place to be confronting sensitive people which such triggering material...this is only my opinion but I felt utterly compelled to share it...however love to you all as always, cindy xox

Re: I'm not going to get any friends from saying t
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Mon Dec 17 22:18:54 2001 (#276)

before the picture she had a warning...i'm not saying that the picture is right or whatever, but there was a warning...she warned eveyone that something triggering was going to appear when the entered,she did nothing wrong

Re: I'm not going to get any friends from saying t
Posted by Linda on Mon Dec 17 23:43:54 2001 (#280)

Thanks Kim.

Re: I'm not going to get any friends from saying t
Posted by Linda on Mon Dec 17 23:41:23 2001 (#279)

Cindy....You have no reason to feel bad to say what you said. I have been on this board a long time and I know there are people on here that would be influenced by the site. That is why I put the warning before the message. I'm sorry if it hurt you. Most of the time my posts will be of a religious nature and you are not at all looked down on for ignoring me. Love and Peace!

RE
Posted by cindy on Tue Dec 18 00:16:59 2001 (#281)

I have no problem with theological debate believe me-but no matter how much you warn things like this curiosity, I would argue, will tend to overcome, but again of course everyone is free to voice. personally I wasn't hurt or anything by the site I just felt that their was a significant possibility that somebody could and that that is a possibility that should be avoided in such forums as these... love as always. cindy. xox

Why I cant die
Posted by Aukee on Fri Dec 14 23:20:36 2001 (#218)

every day.. i want to die, i dont want to live this life.. what is there in my life? all i see is hard work, and hard work to get the life my parents have. i dont want that.. I want to be happy. I see myself being happier in death than in life.. but i can not die.. Killing myself, would kill my family, it would destroy my mother, my father, my friend. All of them have had so much terrible things happening to them. and to just off myself, would place them over the limit. I couldnt do that to them. i couldnt let them be ripped apart like that..

now i can think about dieing, i can dream about dieing, but i cant die.. i cant let myself die... and it hurts, but it will hurt them more than i hurt now...

Re: Why I cant die
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 01:48:13 2001 (#256)

I don't mean to seem like I know what you are feeling. Because I don't. I have felt horrible before, like it makes sense that I die. That if I no longer exist it would make it better. I remind myself that SUICIDE is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know sometimes it seems that problems are not temporary, but believe me. After looking up from what could be your last day alive your problems may not be so bad. It is good that you are thinking of what it may do to your family. You still have that. Its called hope.
Huge Hugs!!! take care!
Nuni

Re: Why I cant die
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 01:51:53 2001 (#257)

Wow Nuni. That's really profound wisdom. You never know what your words can do for someone.

Luv you.
Maggie.

(PS: You can't knock me off the top ten)

Oops... mucked up
Posted by Maggie on Mon Dec 17 05:45:58 2001 (#269)

Ooops, sorry Nuni. I accidentally posted the last message using your name and details, since this new board saves the old details and I used your computer.

Just as well I clarified that, or else it would've seemed like you're a big moron. Sorry!

Luv Maggie.

everything is so screwed up
Posted by Erin on Sat Dec 15 03:12:20 2001 (#220)

I feel so depressed and alone and lonely right now and I dont even know why...there's no reason for me to feel this way..I mean..I went on that field trip today and I had a great time..laughed my ass off because me and a couple other guys were making faces at the people behind us and making weird signs and waving at them. (basically making them think we're on drugs or something) *sighs* just wish I wouldnt feel this way. I keep thinking that if I cut, I'll feel better but I'm trying so hard not to do that...I need to find something to do...something to keep me busy and keep my mind off things but I dont even know what... I have that song 'blurry' by puddle of mudd stuck in my head. grrrrrr just wish I knew what to do to stop thinking about all this. I dont even know anymore.

Re: everything is so screwed up
Posted by *me* on Sun Dec 16 02:28:16 2001 (#227)

I know what you mean. Esp that you go out and ppl think you're perfectly fine and dandy. And inside you feel like Sh*t (yes, with a capital S!). I don't know what to tell you hun. I give you credit for trying hard not to cut. I just dunno what to tell you. Take care, and stay safe! Write it you need anything.

Re: everything is so screwed up
Posted by Erin on Sun Dec 16 04:34:27 2001 (#231)

yeah, that is true. I hate it too. thanks for replying anyways. I feel better now than what I did last nite :)

Re: everything is so screwed up
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:10:13 2001 (#234)

that happenes to me all the time... when you get home and you arent around people you feel depressed. thats because you are truly yourself when you are alone, and they only way to change the way you feel when you are alone, is to get better, and i know thats hard and crazy, but thats the truth

blessed Be

aukee

getting drunk
Posted by pink girl on Sat Dec 15 03:38:05 2001 (#221)

sorry. am just venting, again, its all i seem to be doing lately.
got completly plastered tonight. the evening itself wont too bad but my best friend has a high white blood cell count and has had lukemia before, so looks likely again, so she was drunk and upset too. so i got back to my room and cut. but i have to go home next week for xtmas and now my body is in a state so when my mother inspects me she will see.
just feel lousy. prob shud go sleep and will feel better in morning.
sorry
love 'n' confused monkeys
xxx

Re: getting drunk
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:11:52 2001 (#235)

go get that stuff that makes cut heal better so you have a better chance that the cuts will look more like scars than cuts

blessed Be

Aukee

Re: getting drunk
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 01:36:09 2001 (#253)

Hi,
Why did you cut? Did you cut because you felt sad for your friend? or Did you cut because you were drunk and lost your inhibitions? For whatever reason it may be, it is important. I hope your mom isnt hard on you. Maybe it is a good time for you to tell her that you are hurting about your friend. Sleeping on it helps so things dont look so grim in the morning, just remember you cant sleep your problems away.
Take care, Huge Hugs,
Nuni

I feel so crazy
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Sat Dec 15 16:12:03 2001 (#223)

I just watched the film "pearl harbor" .. it is so upsetting, but when the americans were getting bombed, all I could think of was, "damn, I wish that was me".. I dont know why, I just wanted that to be me, I wanted to be killed I wanted someone to just come along in a plane and gun me down, I feel so weird.
I have this dream that keeps coming back, everyday when I sleep, that I am in a boxing ring, and that Im getting chased by this massive dinosaur, and then it stabs me in the back, and I can feel the pain in my sleep, it is so real, whats wrong with me, why the hell am I so morbid, why do I get these "sick" thoughts?... help me, please

Re: I feel so crazy
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:13:16 2001 (#236)

i have the same thoughts, when the columbine thing happened, all i wanted was that it happened to my school, and i was one of those 13 victoms.. so i understand

blessed be

aukee

boyfriends
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Sat Dec 15 18:46:43 2001 (#225)

okay well yeah...i dont know what to be...happy, sad, relieaved...i was out with my friends, boyfriend, and his friends...jeff and i (my boyfriend) have kind of been in a fight for about a week...i wasnt really talking to him he was being an asshole...but yeah...my friends and i were about to leave and he screams across the room..."were breaking up you ho" but i wasnt upset, someone who could say that to me doesnt deserve me to be upset over them...today i got an email from him saying how it was my fault because i am immpossable to get to know...and that he is sorry and he still loves me and crap, and i dont know if it is just an act or what...but i have very strong for feelings for someone else but now i am afraid to get into another relationship because i thought jeff ws truely a good person and he seemed so wonderful...gosh...i can not let him get to me...i dont know what to do anymore...i just cant believe that the one person i thought who loved me called me a ho...people can be so fake

Re: boyfriends
Posted by chris on Sat Dec 15 19:58:31 2001 (#226)

eh.. boys suck, and they always will. there are worse things than being called names... be glad you found out now, before he really had a chance to hurt you.

you'll find someone else. anyone who calls you names and then blames it on you is most likely not worth it at all.

Re: boyfriends
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:15:16 2001 (#237)

fuck him, dont go back to him because he is going to hurt you again and worse. trust me, i have been in the SAME EXACT position.. and it hurts,. bad.

blessed be

aukee

Re: boyfriends and yeah...
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Sun Dec 16 21:58:49 2001 (#245)

well lets see...im kind of proud of myself but not really...i got drunk and i was with my ex. and he tried to forse me to have sex but i said no. and he was saying all these sweet things to me and i kept telling him that he is a liar...i finally told someone how i really feel. i also told him that i am never going to cut over him again. he is not worth it. but now after all that happened it made me like stop hating him. grr i dont know what to do anymore...

Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by *me* on Sun Dec 16 02:32:43 2001 (#228)

HOW does this thing know that it's YOU that's on?? I mean, I'm assuming when you come on this site, the top of the page says, "Welcome back, (fill in your name here)!" And, when you post, what is an IP number, and why does it have that?? I'm just wondering. Ok...thanks...stay safe!

Re: Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Sun Dec 16 03:00:33 2001 (#229)

every time you connect to the internet you have an IP code... that is how the messege board recognises that it is you, as you will be logged on from your computer via your IP code, its simple really, dont worry about it!! its just technoligy!!
Take care
Love as always
CriMSoN*TeArS
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Re: Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:16:05 2001 (#238)

i dont know how it dose it, but i like it, it takes away the extra annoying work for me!!

Re: Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by Maggie on Sun Dec 16 21:55:11 2001 (#244)

It certainly beats that big green welcome sign on the old Psyke site "SELF INJURY BOARD".
How many of you have nearly been caught out by someone else seeing that on the computer screen?

Re: Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by Erin on Sun Dec 16 22:02:13 2001 (#247)

I have. I hated that thing...

Re: Someone explain...bc it's bugging me!
Posted by *me* on Mon Dec 17 00:43:11 2001 (#251)

Oh me too. My mom almost walked in while I was on the SUICIDE one. THAT would have sucked.

going away
Posted by jue on Sun Dec 16 03:16:57 2001 (#230)

i am going away for the holidays and won't have computer access. i hope everyone has safe holidays,.

take care...*hugs* julie

Re: going away
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:16:55 2001 (#239)

i hope YOU have a good and safe and happy holiday!

blessed be

aukee

Re: going away
Posted by Rhonda on Sun Dec 16 18:48:50 2001 (#241)

I hope you have a good time and we'll wait for you
to come back. See ya soon! Take care and stay
safe.
Love, Rhonda

Re: going away
Posted by Maggie on Mon Dec 17 01:27:30 2001 (#252)

You too!

takin some time off
Posted by melz on Sun Dec 16 15:27:47 2001 (#232)

I know I haven't been around for a while, and I know you all hate me, so I'll try and make this quick. Things are way to complicated I can't even begin to explain, so I would just like to say I'm sorry to everyone for saying stupid stuff, and for wasting your time.

Re: takin some time off
Posted by melz on Sun Dec 16 15:33:33 2001 (#233)

oops, I posted my message to soon. Just gonna ask what are you all hoping to get for christmas or hanukah etc.? Time off from school is a big enough present for me:)

Re: takin some time off
Posted by Rhonda on Sun Dec 16 18:54:00 2001 (#242)

You're not stupid and you're not wasting our time,
so don't even worry about that.As far as what I want for Christmas, well, I really like for all
of you to be okay and have a wonderful time this
holiday season. And, I know my family is getting
me some candles(I love candles!), probably some frogs,(I collect frogs) and a couple of CD's I've
been wanting. They're country CD's. I truly hope
you all have a safe time and get some good stuff.
After Christmas, everyone needs to come and tell
what they got, if they want too. I'll go for now.
Ya'll all take care of yourselves.
Love, Rhonda

Re: takin some time off
Posted by Aukee on Sun Dec 16 18:17:53 2001 (#240)

i dont hate you... dont worry, you are welcome here.

blessed be

aukee

Re: takin some time off
Posted by Maggie on Sun Dec 16 21:59:13 2001 (#246)

I don't think anyone hates you girl, so you are welcome here anytime.
I am away from my family for Christmas this year (they're all in New Zealand and I'm staying in San Diego with Nuni). Christmas is gonna be strange without the whole family traditional stuff, but it's still exciting here. Americans tend to go really full-out with Christmas lights and decorations.

I hope you have a great one too, and enjoy your holidays.

Luv Maggie.

upset
Posted by Erin on Sun Dec 16 20:04:47 2001 (#243)

it's been almost 4 weeks i think since i cut myself. its so hard for me not to do it right now. i dont get it..why do some parents always put their kids down? why do they always make them feel like shit and they know what they're doing? not cutting just isnt worth it anymore...i dont see the point. nothing changes..it all just gets worse. i worked really hard this year in school..even got on the honor roll. my mom dont care. i mainly worked so hard to do that good so she'd actually be proud of me for once...she wasnt. i just got yelled and bitched at for some other reason. i dont even remember it. i just want all this to stop. i dont know what to do. just want to get out....but i have no where to go

Re: upset
Posted by Maggie on Sun Dec 16 22:08:12 2001 (#248)

I'm sorry you're having a rough time at the moment, but don't cut yourself just because your Mum is being difficult. If you had the determination and motivation to excel at your studies this year, then I'm sure you have the guts to fight the urges to hurt yourself. You've already shown yourself that when you try hard, you get good results.

Why do parents put their kids down? Maybe because parents want the best for their kids, and don't wanna give them too much praise or they'll get lazy? Maybe because she thinks it encourages you to do better...even though you've already done so well.
I can relate to EXACTLY how you feel... when I told my parents how I had done last semester at University (which was actually quite well) my Dad said congratulations, but Mum said nothing.
Mum has never praised good marks... when I get 95%, she asks what happened to the other 5%.
It used to be upsetting, but after 5 or so years of this, I just accept that it's her nature.
Just make the decision that any good mark you get, is for your benefit and not anybody elses.

Anyway, I'm gonna say CONGRATULATIONS anyway for getting on the Honors role, because you deserve it. I'm sure you can make it through this.

Take care,
Luv Maggie.

Re: upset
Posted by Rhonda on Tue Dec 18 03:36:43 2001 (#289)

There are many reasons why parents put their
kids down and not one of them will make sense.
LIke I've said before, parents can be blinded by
stupidity when it comes to their kids. I've read
so many posts from all of ya'll about parents and
frankly, sometimes I can't believe what I read.
Not saying anyone is lying, I just can't believe
people act that way towards their own children. It's a real bad pet peeve of mine. Anyway, all I
can say is hang in there. I wish I was close so
you could just come over and talk to me. If talking to them won't or doesn't help, try finding
an adult who will listen. Just remember, you have
so many friends here who will listen to you. We're
all ears!!!! Take care and write if you ever feel
like it.
LOve, Rhonda

Re: upset
Posted by aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:22:29 2001 (#297)

some parents just dont get it.. and its a terrible thing that you have to live with two parents that are like that.. but someday, they will see the error in their words, the hard part is waiting for that.

DAWN
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 02:13:20 2001 (#258)

Hi,
Has anyone heard from Dawn? I'm a little worried about her. I havent seen or heard from her. i hope she is ok.
Nuni

Re: DAWN
Posted by Rhonda on Mon Dec 17 05:07:03 2001 (#266)

She's okay. I posted a response on the old SI
board so you might check there to see what I
wrote. Take care.
Love, Rhonda

Re: DAWN
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 17:30:54 2001 (#272)

Thank you Rhonda, Happy Holidays!!
Luv Nuni.

Re: DAWN
Posted by Star (amz) on Mon Dec 17 19:19:38 2001 (#273)

Hi, yeah shes mailed me today and yesterday as well, she seems fine shes such an amazing woman. love and prayers xxxx

Help me please I hate this depression
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Mon Dec 17 02:21:02 2001 (#259)

i cant stop crying
Ok Im drunk, but I cant stop looking back in the past, Im crying my eyes out, I really want to cut, but Im such a mess, my arms are a state and my friend stole my blade I feel like such shit help me please, please.

Re: Help me please I hate this depression
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 04:12:16 2001 (#261)

Hi,
Would you like to chat? Im sorry you feel awful. I know that being drunk doesnt help... I will be around if you need me.

NUNI!!!!
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Mon Dec 17 04:30:30 2001 (#262)

Nuni, I am trying to talk to you on yahoo, it says you are online but you are not replying.. :-(
Love CriMsOn*TeArs

CRIMSON!!!!!!
Posted by Nuni on Mon Dec 17 05:35:57 2001 (#268)

Sorry, im here now!!!!!

Re: Help me please I hate this depression
Posted by Rhonda on Mon Dec 17 05:09:25 2001 (#267)

I'm sorry I can't be there to hold you while you cry. Here's a big (((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))) ))))) for you. Wish
it could be me. Take care and write if you want too.
Love, Rhonda

Re: Help me please I hate this depression
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Mon Dec 17 09:37:01 2001 (#270)

thankyou Rhonda, and thankyou Nuni, you are both really great people.
thankyou so much.you have helped me alot.
Love as always
CriMsON*TeARs

Re: Help me please I hate this depression
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Mon Dec 17 22:21:37 2001 (#277)

drunk..hmm...being drunk is the only way i can say how i really feel, and talk about everything...its kinda sad

grrrrrrrr
Posted by Erin on Mon Dec 17 02:45:22 2001 (#260)

I hate these stupid blocks..I'm even blocked from some of the messages on here counting maggie's reponse to mine. *sighs* I'm trying really hard not to cut. I dont know if I make it tonite. grrrrr why does this always have to be so hard?

Re: grrrrrrrr
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Mon Dec 17 22:22:58 2001 (#278)

hang in there babe...i know its hard but everything happens for a reason, good or bad...you'll make it...

Re: grrrrrrrr
Posted by *me* on Tue Dec 18 01:35:02 2001 (#283)

Sweetie I hate the blocks too. I'm blocked from a lot of messages here, too. It sucks. I'm proud that you're trying not to cut, though. That takes a lot of guts! Take care and stay safe.

Re: grrrrrrrr
Posted by aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:27:22 2001 (#298)

try emailing Wulf and asking him whats up and what can i do?

Hughey
Posted by tawnia on Mon Dec 17 04:51:05 2001 (#263)

Has anyone heard from Hughey lately? I'm really starting to worry about her (she said she was going to kill herself on the 30th of December, and I haven't seen her post since). Hopefully I just missed it, but I don't think so. I even tried e-mailing her to let her know that someone cares, but I haven't gotten a response back. If ANYONE has heard from her, please let me know. I'm also going to ask that people e-mail her at tinkasmommy@aol.com to try and talk her out of it. I hope that together, we can convince her not to do end her life.

Like the stars above...'til I die

Tawnia

another quote
Posted by tawnia on Mon Dec 17 04:55:51 2001 (#264)

This quote is from the movie 'American Beauty' with Kevin Spacey (amazing movie, brilliant actor); I highly recommend it. It is, however, a bit...different. I also HIGHLY recommend his movies "Pay It Forward" and "Usual Suspects" (can you tell I love him? *L*). Anyhoos, this is the quote:

I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once and it's too much; my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax and stop trying to hold on to it. And then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure, but don't worry; you will someday.

Like the stars above...'til I die

tawnia

Re: another quote
Posted by the boy in the bubble on Mon Dec 17 04:58:53 2001 (#265)

Nice

i don't follow kevin spacey i have to say but that is quite a nice quote

have fun and stay beautiful

i wanna walk in the snow and not spoil it's purity

Re: another quote
Posted by Erin on Mon Dec 17 21:07:28 2001 (#275)

I LOVE that movie 'pay it foward' I'm going to own that movie one day...lol I saw it at school before thanksgiving.

forget it all
Posted by elle on Tue Dec 18 01:34:48 2001 (#282)

stupid flippin bastard, i wish hed just leave me alone. ahhhhh

and dawn. i do think things can go back into hiding cause sometimes if you remember you can forget you rememberd

Re: forget it all
Posted by aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:28:56 2001 (#299)

if this is the same guy i am thinking about, tell on him, and it will end everything..

you really should go for help with him,, just one word from your mouth and that guy is gone.

love you

aukee

blah blah...i really hate subject lines...
Posted by *me* on Tue Dec 18 01:42:00 2001 (#284)

Ok..I dunno...this is just another lil' ramble from me bc I need to vent and...yeah this is where all my venting goes.

One of my best friends is really starting to get on my nerves. I know that sounds TERRIBLE, but it's the truth. She is having a hard time in one of her classes, but ALL she talks about is, "Life sucks" "God, I hate this" etc etc. She must say life sucks about 30 times a day at the least. And it so totally is bothering me. She is NOT depressed. She gets little mood swing depressed, if you know what I mean, like "normal" people. But she is not clinically depressed. And it p*sses me off bc ALL she does anymore is complain. And I just want to grab her and shake her and yell at her bc there is no way she could understand what I - what any of us - are going through. It really really makes me mad that she is acting like that when she doesn't know what it even means to be depressed. To hate yourself and everything around you so bad that you just want to run away or die and that you have to cut to make things even seem managable for the moment.

Baahhhhh....that's my rant for today.

Take care and stay safe.

Re: blah blah...i really hate subject lines...
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Tue Dec 18 02:00:24 2001 (#285)

i hate that too...most of my friends have noo idea what i, or any of us go through...i hate when they want to kill themselves because oh no a gut doesnt like them...gosh it pisses me off...and the other thing that bugs me is these fucking 'trend cutters', gosh...okay lets scrach outselves a little bit then make sure everyone sees them and pays attention to me, it drives me insane...i dont want people to think that i just do this all...just because...grr...humph...sorry bout that...

Re: blah blah...i really hate subject lines...
Posted by Nuni on Tue Dec 18 02:17:35 2001 (#286)

Hi... I think we have all had friends that dont have a clue what we (here) are going through. maybe because we dont tell them. Aside from your friend telling you how she feels, complaining, etc.. tells me that she is comfortable enough to tell you things bother her too. Her not knowing about your problems (i dont know is she does) makes her believe you have it pretty easy and so she shares with you. Dont we wish we all had someone to tell when we felt that "Yeah LIFE sucks (right now, or today). Im glad you know you can come here and vent this about your friend here. Your best friend loves you, she tells you how she feels.. have you told her how you are doing? I think I would..
I wasnt saying all those things to be mean. I really ought to take my own advice.. Huge HUGS!!!
Nuni

Re: blah blah...i really hate subject lines...
Posted by Star (amz ) on Tue Dec 18 11:32:36 2001 (#293)

Hi well i guess i would be one of thoses kinda friends, sometimes i dont mean to be but i dont cut althought i read what you all write and try and imagine it althought thats very difficult and no im not clinically depressed but yeah i get depression periods like eveyone i guess, its more difficult than you would think being the friend of someone who SI's especially if you dont know as many times in my case i would guess or see or something and not say anything in the hope it would sort out because my helplessness and unability to make it right as all best friends *should* scared me to tears, i know it might seem hard from your side but the only way your friend will know is if you tell her how you feel.
Love and prayers Amz xxxx
It cant rain all the time

to Kim, Nuni, and Star
Posted by *me* on Thu Dec 20 20:02:50 2001 (#333)

Ok..first thing: I want to thank Kim for posting the responses on the old board...turns out I'm blocked from Kim's, Nuni's, and MY OWN post. Grrr. Let's see if I can remember everything I wanted to say. Humm...first, thanks for replying. It's so depressing when no one replies! haha. Umm...ok well my friend does not know about me (no one does). She does tell me stuff, about everything that bothers her. I know that she considers me her best friend, and that I should be grateful to have such a good friend. But it gets so annoying when all she does is complain and when she really has no idea. She complains about her family. And school. And EVERYTHING. And I know she doesn't know what's going on with me, and she thinks she has it so much harder, but I can't help feeling so p*ssed at her bc CANNOT and WOULD NOT understand just how much pain a person can really feel. And I can't tell her bc I know she would go tell a teacher or something and I cannot handle ppl knowing. I am waiting until I am 18 to get help for myself. When I get my driver's license I think I am going to go talk to my priest. But until then I am stuck in this rut and cannot let anyone know and she makes me very angry. We were on the phone today and she just goes, "Life sucks." And I was thisclose to screaming, but I just said, "what's wrong now?" And she goes, "I have a project to do over winter break and I have to spend Christmas alone with just my parents." I mean, THAT is what she complained about for like 20 minutes. I have to spend EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE ALONE with a mother who treats me like sh*t, and I have a lot more to worry about than a project. She just has no idea, and she thinks that bc she has a project over break she is MANIC DEPRESSIVE. This girl just has no idea. Well...sorry this turned into more of a venting than anything...

Take care and stay safe. Lots of love.

I cut
Posted by Erin on Tue Dec 18 02:55:26 2001 (#287)

*sighs* I wish there was never a thing such as self injury...or cutting yourself or anything. and you never went through any kind of pain at all. but nothing like that would ever happen. if only there was a easier way out of everything..instead of cutting yourself. my mom was really bothering me earlier. the thing i really remember is that she said she's not treating me bad...and how she is treating me is how i'll always be treated for the rest of my life... I dont get her. i dont get why she wants me to be someone that I'll never be and why she hates me so much for it. I'm trying so hard and it'll never be good enough and I'll just end up feeling like shit so why even bother? only reason I really want to do good in school anymore is so my bf will still be proud of me. seems like he's the only person that ever is. for some reason i just cant ignore how she wants me to be perfect. I wish I could but I cant. really wish I wasnt here. she cant stop telling me about if i was ever this lazy or stupid or inconsiderate, she would've gotten her ass beat and how her life was/is so much worse than anyone else's. its still bad because she has to put up with a selfish, bratty little kid. me. maybe if I just ended my life, it would make her happier...and she wouldnt have to put up with a selfish stupid kid anymore. i've been crying off and on for like an hour and a half now...adam (my bf) is starting to make me feel better but i still feel kind of shitty. nothing seems to get better...either stays just as bad or gets worse. I hate it

Re: I cut
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Tue Dec 18 04:41:28 2001 (#290)

I totally relate hun,
Take care, and try not to let her get to you, I know its hard.
Sorry to hear you are upset, Hope you are feeling better soon sweetheart.
Love, CriMsON*TeARs

i'm screwed...big time
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Tue Dec 18 03:30:27 2001 (#288)

okay i dont know what to do...i'm really sick, i have another freaking ear infection i think, my throat is killing me and i cant even eat. my mom is making me go to the doctors tomorrow...i have not cut in awhile, but i have tons of scars all over my arms...the doctors are going to see it...i am going to have to go away...i dont know what to do...if i am just going because of my ears...will they make me put one of those paper short sleeved sick "dresses" on...if i dont then i am okay...i dont want anyone to find out...this is mine...they will take it away from me..i am so scared i am like shaking... maybe i eill just tell my mom i feel better, then i will not have to go...but then i will just get sicker...god i am so screwed...i hate this...all of this...it is not even worth it.

Re: i'm screwed...big time
Posted by Maggie on Tue Dec 18 04:44:10 2001 (#291)

Hi there.
Sorry you're not feeling too good at the moment. I am guessing that the doctors will use their ear light thing and maybe swab your throat. It's possible that they may wanna do a bloodtest, and then volunteer the arm which has least scars.
For precautions I recommend putting cocoa butter or some other kind of concealer on them...it may not make tem invisible but may stop attention being drawn to them.
I don't see any reason why they'd make you wear a hospital gown if you have an ear infection either :) I think you may be stressing out a little over a small thing.
Will your Mom be going into the doctors room with you? How old are you anyway, because if you are over a certain age (not sure exactly) they can't legally tell your parents.

Anyway, good luck.
I'm sure it will be okay.
Let us know how it goes, and I hope you'll feel better soon.

Re: i'm screwed...big time
Posted by Aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:36:16 2001 (#303)

ive had the same thing happen to me.. there really is nothing you can do, but try telling them its something that you Used to do and you are over it and it was stupid and a mistake, try that, othet than that, i cant think of anything else, good luck

aukee

Re: i'm screwed...big time
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Wed Dec 19 16:08:30 2001 (#312)

okay well nothing happened...i didnt get caught, thank god...maggie i'm 15, thank you for responding guys

Breasts
Posted by Maggie on Tue Dec 18 04:48:04 2001 (#292)

I hate breasts... I don't know why, I just do.
Ever since I started growing them I've tried to hide them. I've had scary thoughts about how I'd like to slice them off, but that would just be stupid. It's not that they're too big or too small, it's just that they're there. Like 2 big parasitic blobs of fat tissue that cling to my torso. I also hate the fact that guys like them... I hate them being touched.
Am I a freak?

Re: Breasts
Posted by Nuni on Tue Dec 18 17:45:18 2001 (#296)

Maggie,
You and I have been talking quite a bit. I know exactly how you feel. These breasts are nothing appealing to me either, why do guys like them? Does it have to do with the weening process mothers put them through when they are first nursing. I could do without breasts. YUK!

Re: Breasts
Posted by Aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:33:33 2001 (#302)

you def are not a freak, i feel the same way about mine, i hate them,. i dont even know why there are there. i mean, its just like they are little roaches that cling to my body, they get in the way, they hurt, they are totally useless. they SUCK!!!!

Re: Breasts
Posted by Linda on Tue Dec 18 19:56:37 2001 (#304)

You know girls, I have to add my two cents worth here. Now that I think of it, breasts have been a focal point of my life and right now I think they are ugly. Now don't get me wrong....remember I am not a cutter...just a friend. But I see ladies with breasts that really try to use them to get attention from the opposite sex and it repulses me. I was a late bloomer so I was very much distressed as a young teen because all my friends were developed and I looked like a wall. By the time I got married, I had managed to get into an "A" cup. Welllllllllllll, lots of water has gone under the bridge and after nursing three children and going through menopause, I can wear a "D" cup! So think of it.....A-B-C-D......and ya know what....it's not nearly the big deal I thought it would be. But I will say this, some of my fondest memories have come from nursing my children. If I could go back to any time it would be those times. I nursed all three of them for a long time. It was such a warm, cuddly time and no one could interfere. It was something I could give them that no one else could. I can't help but feel like it helped to shape their character. So I guess there is a good reason for them!!

Re: Breasts
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Wed Dec 19 16:12:00 2001 (#313)

i hate breasts too...expecially when guys make stupid comments...all my friends are all like kim your so lucky blah blah...they dont realize how much i hate them...grr

Re: Breasts
Posted by robyn on Wed Dec 26 23:50:28 2001 (#365)

Hey now ya see i like them cause they make ya look thinner when ur wearin a seater case the push out the other crap but i hate it wen guys make cracks cause i always wear a jacket now after this one guy comes up to me infront of all my friends and goes are they real and i'm like wat are u talkin bout and he grabbed them and was like yeah.... now y didn't u ever show them off b4... i was like excuse me and i wanted to grab his dick and be like o that can't be real can it but i didnt and my bf david went look man she's mine and u cant touch her like that not even i pull shit like that. now fuk off and i felt better but i reallie hate it when guys are like i want u cause u gots some mighty nice tits ya kno?!?! okie doke i've spoken enough now bye

robyn

i feel wierd
Posted by jes on Tue Dec 18 15:26:23 2001 (#294)

it's like, i just wanna cry. but not for any reason. today i was meant to be buying chrismas pressies, and i went into this shop to buy a couple of cards, then when i cam out i didn't go back into the centre, i went into the bus station. i just sat there for a while, wishing i could just get on one and not come back. i even went to the office to see about the prices, which was stupid cos i only had about 2/3 pounds on me by then anywayz. so i just walked around and went out the other side and walked aroung these streets that i never been to before cos there's not much there really. it's like i'm not really me. i'm not really the one walikng around like a bleedin' loon. this guy asked me if i wanted a big issue, and i just stopped and stared at him, like, i didn't know what he was talking about or something (which is hard not to cos they're everywhere). then i just walked. i dunno. i'm not here. i'm gonna go and walk some more i think, see if i can find me. xxx

Re: i feel wierd
Posted by Aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:31:47 2001 (#301)

walking is good for the soul

Re: i feel wierd
Posted by Star (amz) on Thu Dec 20 00:18:16 2001 (#318)

ill help you find you, anytime. i love you im sorry im such a useless bitch. Amz xxx

Re: i feel wierd
Posted by jes on Thu Dec 20 15:42:41 2001 (#328)

yesterday i went for a walk. i walked up to the castle, then down the road thena long another road, then over the canal, the over to the river, then down the river, then along the river then i sat down and cried for about half an hour, then i walkedhome. i think it took me about 4 hours. but i didn't feel like stopping. so i walked to see my grandparents. which was another hour. i still don't feel right. i'm not sad or happy. i'm just nothing. blah.

Re: i feel wierd
Posted by star on Tue Dec 25 20:24:02 2001 (#358)

You are something your amazing, Amz xxx

another mindless blah blah blah....who cares?!??!!
Posted by Amanda on Tue Dec 18 17:16:51 2001 (#295)

........shit......good word i think.....sums up almost everything. school=shit.....me=shit.....li fe=shit......makes sense i suppose. im worthless shit so i deserve to makes myself feel even more crappy by screwing with my arms. i cut....i feel shit....then i do it again......does any1 know why????? coz i fucking dont. ive cut loads and i shouldnt.....its winter so im gonna b cutting more and more. i went to the doctors about seeing a counsellor....now he wants to c me again and i dont know why......IM FUCKING SICK IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont deserve to live at all........shoot me now....please im begging you.....i want to DIE!!!!!

sorry guys....mindless raving ignore it.

Love Trust and Pixi Dust,
Amanda

Re: another mindless blah blah blah....who cares?!
Posted by Aukee on Tue Dec 18 18:29:58 2001 (#300)

YOU are NOT shit.

never say that again

You're not mindless
Posted by Maggie on Wed Dec 19 01:36:32 2001 (#305)

Shit can be useful for some things too. People in poor countries make houses out of it, it is great fertiliser to grow veges with, and if you didn't make any, you would be dead.
So shit is not necessarily a bad thing... we all have shitty days/experiences, and sometimes we can a lot from them... either by not mistaking the same mistake again or it may make you a stronger person when you get through it.
But you yourself aren't shit okay... I don't think that fecal matter had a consciousness and certainly couldn't type anything.
About your cutting... you do deserve to feel better, and try to do this by cutting yourself. So, it doesn't work right? But if you treat cutting as a punishment you are never gonna get out of the cycle. Look at it as a coping mechanism, which you use for a while until you find yourself a more effective/safer method to deal with the stresses of school and other people.
It's unfortunate that we all turn our frustration and anger inwards, when it's usually not our own faults that we are dealing with the negative emotions.
I'm glad that you went to see a doctor, and I definately advise you to follow up with the councellor. The best thing I ever did was let my friend drag me to the head specialists, coz I certainly had no idea how to get over cutting.
I know you appreciate the value of talking about your problems, or else you wouldn't be coming here to do it. Your psychologist/counsellor's is to listen to you talk, to pay absolute attention to your problems and support you through them.
What harm can it do? It certainly can't be any worse than death, and can't be any worse than life the way it is at the moment. Sometimes just knowing that there's someone who will listen can make the difference between wanting to end it, and the crucial few days when things don't seem so bad anymore.
So maybe after an few sessions talking to the counsellor, re-evaluate whether you still want us to shoot you.

Take care,
We luv you!
Maggie.

Re: You're not mindless
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Wed Dec 19 11:07:27 2001 (#309)

hey, ranting is good, it helps to shout and moan at people when your feeling low.
your not shit though, I dont expect you to agree with me either, I feel like that alot and people tell me the same, do I take any notice? nope.. but hey.. we are only human, insignificant factors of this shithole we call earth, so fuck it, some people run from death, others await it.. whats the difference, we all die anyway.
take care.
Love and Roses
CriMsOn*TeArS

Re: You're not mindless
Posted by Dawn on Thu Dec 20 07:50:10 2001 (#327)

Shit happens but we are not shit. Life can be shitty but that is generally because of the people and situations around us. it the situations around are shitty try to change them. If you can't change them get the hell out of there. Dawn

Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Rhonda on Wed Dec 19 03:04:50 2001 (#306)

This has nothing to do with SI but I would like to
ask a favor. My grandma is slowly dying with
cancer. It has now gotten so bad that she is in pain all the time. I'm hoping she makes it to Christmas, but I know that is in the Lord's hands
and He will do what he wants to. Please say a small prayer for her tonight that God will ease her pain. I know she is going to die, but I don't
like seeing her in so much pain. Thanks guys. You
all will never know how much you have come to mean
to me. You're like my adopted kids and I love you
all. Even though I don't cut and can't begin to understand what you're all going through, you let me come on the board and try to help you. Okay,
enough sad stuff. I hope everyone has a safe holiday season. Take care all.
Love, Rhonda

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Nuni & Maggie on Wed Dec 19 07:08:56 2001 (#307)

Dear Rhonda,

Both Nuni and Maggie will say a prayer for your grandmother. We hope it brings her some comfort, and we'll pray for you and Tara too.
We love you. Thank you for all you bring to this board. We greatly appreciate it.

Luv Us.
(((((RHONDA)))))

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by CriMsOn*TeArS on Wed Dec 19 09:42:27 2001 (#308)

Hi Rhonda,
I am so sorry to hear of your Grandmother in that way, I don't believe in God, but I will certainly say a prayer for her and you tonight, as you believe, I am sure your God will reach out for you, as the prayer is obviously not on my behalf, if it works that way, I don't know, but I will say a prayer anyway.
I really do hope your Grandmother's pain stops a little, your post really touched me, I am so so sorry for you.
I don't know what else to say, but thankyou.
You are such a great person Rhonda, I have only been on the board for about a month or so, and already you have helped me alot, and I am more than greatful, so thankyou again.
I hope things get better for you, and your Grandmother,
Take care *hug!*
Love as always
CriMsOn*TeARs

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Amanda on Wed Dec 19 11:47:35 2001 (#310)

im not christian....but i used to be pagan so i will pray to the god and the goddess and to the divine and hope that your grandmother will find some comfort in these hard times. Rhonda, i hope you find some happiness, its hard seeing a relative in pain...i will be thinking of you.

Love Trust and Pixi Dust
amanda

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Linda on Wed Dec 19 14:02:50 2001 (#311)

Awwwww Rhonda. I am so sorry about your Grandmother. That is very hard to go through, I would imagine. I most surely will pray for you and her. I hope that she has peace in her heart even though her body is filled with pain. I will pray for that. Love, Linda

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Wed Dec 19 16:20:26 2001 (#314)

i will say a prayer for your grandmother and you and your family...i hope everything turns out okay

Thanks everyone!
Posted by Rhonda on Thu Dec 20 00:50:24 2001 (#320)

We found out that Mema has to be put on IV drip
of morphine starting Dec.27th. That is the only
way they can control the pain. At least she won't
be in so much pain. Mema has always been a very
strong Christian woman and has put her faith in
the Lord. She told me she is at peace and ready to
go home. Of course, I'm crying writing this, but inside, I think I'm also rejoicing a little. She
will be with her loved ones who have passed before
her and with her Lord, who she loves so much. I'll
try to come on the board as often as I can, but with the holidays and helping with Mema and Papa,
I may be kind of busy. Please forgive me if I don't show up that much. I'll probably check my
email every day, but not the board. Thank you all
so much for your wonderful and kind words. You
really are "my family" and I love each of you very
much. Take care and stay safe.
Love always,
Rhonda

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by pink girl on Wed Dec 19 17:14:56 2001 (#316)

i'll say a prayer for you all tonight. and i just thank the Lord that He is in control and with each of us thru every situation.
take care
love 'n' hugs

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Star (amz) on Thu Dec 20 00:22:57 2001 (#319)

I will say a prayer for her tonight and i just did as well, and for you and tara as well you are an amazing woman Rhonda and have helped me a lot, i pray everything turns out well, it is in in His hands. Love and prayers Amz xxxx

Re: Could ya'll do me a favor?
Posted by Dawn on Thu Dec 20 07:27:43 2001 (#325)

I replied to your email and will be praying. Dear Friend I don't want to add to your burden so didn't say anything in email, but please pray for me. Read my post on other board.love and hugs. Dawn

my friend
Posted by pink girl on Wed Dec 19 17:12:20 2001 (#315)

my best friend does have lukemia. its definate. and she starts treatment on monday.
i want to be strong and support her, but i dont know if i am strong enough to. she got drunk last night and admitted she had to have treatment again, and then she was talking about slitting her wrists as she is going to die anyway. after i left her all i wanted to do was go home and cut, but i couldnt as my sister was staying.
but i dont know what to do. i love her to bits and dont want to loose her.
she used to self ahrm as well and im worried that it will start again with her being so ill.
:-(

Re: my friend
Posted by .::*kim*::. on Wed Dec 19 21:07:50 2001 (#317)

try and convince her not to start self injury again, that it will just maje everything worse...i lost my best friend last june. stay strong babe...i know its hard. but at least show you best friend your still strong and there for her.