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Lifes a bitch
Posted by Broken Girl on Mon Apr 8 11:30:39 2002 (#1629)

Hi everybody
I really dont seel the point in stopping any more. In fact I think it would be dangerous to stop, with out that coping mechanism what would I do? Last time I quit I ended up walking out of my english lesson and punching a wall! It aint good... Without the cutting, where would all the anger go? When my parents go back to court Ive got to get a release somehow. And its back to school tomorrow and the bullying will commence again. So even if I did quit I would still be angry, so I guess Im just trapped.

And so am I
Posted by Broken Girl on Mon Apr 8 12:05:14 2002 (#1632)

Hi
There are some things I reall want to say but fogot.
Why is it that when my parents got divorced and there was arguing, and shouting and crying and Dad was kicking Mum in the shins and shit, I sort of went numb and didnt feel any thing but now, 5yrs later its all coming back. All the shit that I should have felt has been delayed and I feel it now?!!
THIS IS SHIT!!! I hate the bastard. He walked out on us and now he's taking us to court even thougth we dont even have enougth money for a lawyer. He wants me to see him. What the hell? I hate him and he just dont get it. He used to go out and get drunk every night.
My mum told me the other day that the reason she stayed with him was that she just kept hoping one day he would wake up a bit and realise how lucky he was, she hoped maybe one day he would stop loving himself so much and love us instead.
School tomorrow, I hate that place, it make me so paranoid cuz I know they all hate me. They all talk about me and spread rhumers and stuff. Which is the last thing I need.
F*ck it Im so angry at the moment.
Sorry
I'm rambling
Love Ella x

Re: And so am I
Posted by Rhonda on Mon Apr 8 23:35:50 2002 (#1678)

That's okay Ella, everyone is allowed to be a bitch once in a while, ask my kids and husband!
I'm so sorry about your dad acting like that.
Personally, to me, he's acting like a spoiled brat
who wants his way no matter what the results will
be. If he was truly thinking about your feelings,
he wouldn't be dragging up all this court stuff.
But like I said, some adults are not known for
acting like adults. As far as school goes, my youngest knows how that feels. She gets made fun of alot cause she has seizures. Some of the popular kids seem to think that is something to
laugh about, but if they could ever see her have
a seizure, I think they would see how terrifing
it really is to witness. Tasha has a very strong
personality and her own little circle of friends
who stay by her no matter what. Makes me wish everyone could have a few friends that cared. I
pray that one day things will go better for you.
I'd love to beat some kids up for you, but I know
that wouldn't work so here's a great big
((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))) ))))))))))))))))))))
to take to school with you. Take care of yourself.
Love, Rhonda

Re: Lifes a bitch
Posted by scared aka donna on Mon Apr 8 19:23:37 2002 (#1651)

only stop if you wnt too. you have to want to stop before actually going through the shitty task of stopping. good luck either way xxx

Re: Lifes a bitch
Posted by She on Mon Apr 8 19:43:21 2002 (#1656)

I know how you feel.
I dont think its time for me to give up si yet.Id be in a bit of a mess without it.
Love you
She