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Threads 451 to 475

the hospital
Posted by Erryn on Thu Apr 11 00:17:01 2002 (#1779)

today was a bad day i cut bad had to go to the hospital and get 16 stitches while my kids were visiting their dad. his wed afternoon two hour visits anyway the hospital told me that they could keep me even if i didnt want to and that i could loose my kids. can they really say that or do that without my kids i am nothing so i would definatly not be around they told me they were going to turn me in what am i going to do?? HelpxxxxxxxErryn

Re: the hospital
Posted by liverpoolfc on Thu Apr 11 00:53:30 2002 (#1780)

I don't know if they can do that or not. But if they can, you need to not panic and prove to them that you are a fit mother. Maybe by seeing a therapist it would show that you are trying.

Re: the hospital
Posted by mego on Thu Apr 11 02:12:00 2002 (#1785)

i dont know, but they probably could. good luck, i raelly really hope you get to keep them. take care, write to me if you want, i'm not sure how long before i'll be able to respond, but i'll try.

Re: the hospital
Posted by Crimson Fire on Thu Apr 11 02:30:49 2002 (#1788)

im not positive but im like 90% sure that they have to get a second opinion by a specialist before they can do anything. then im pretty sure theyll have to take it to court cause they have to be all legal and shit.

Re: the hospital
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 13:27:50 2002 (#1796)

If they think you're unfit then yes they can. They would have to go through all the legal stuff to take them permanently but they can take your kids straight away if they think they're "in danger". Oh honey, you're a wonderful mother. I hate it when things like this happen. Stay strong and love your kids to pieces because I'm sure if any decent person was to make the decision they'd never dream of taking them away. Write to me if you need to talk, i'm always here for you! Love always, el x x

Re: the hospital
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 15:06:44 2002 (#1806)

I dunno they threatend to take me away from my mother befor but it didnt happen they say alot of stuff.I think they would be dull if they did .
Have a huge ahug from me and one for your kids too.
(((((((((((((((((((((hugs))) )))))))))))))))))))
well see you soon
She

psych paper grade
Posted by erica on Thu Apr 11 01:24:09 2002 (#1781)

Hi All!
Well it's finally in. I got 20/20 on my paper on self mutilation. It's actually worth 20% of my final grade. So that makes it 100% I got on both my papers on self mutilation for this class. He actually mentioned in the cooments that I put a lot of statistics he was not aware of, and that he will be reading up on self-mutilation. Which was my whole goal. I wanted him to realise that he was not current on his information and that he should read up on it.
So there you are. I'm pretty excited.

Erica:o)

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by mego on Thu Apr 11 02:17:12 2002 (#1786)

thats awesome, i'm happy for you. keep writing these papers, the more people who know the truth about it the better. congradulations.

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by Crimson Fire on Thu Apr 11 02:32:11 2002 (#1789)

omg thats so awesome!!! you must be PSYCHED! im so glad you got the desired response!! you should keep writing and maybe publish a book someday!!

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 13:29:20 2002 (#1797)

That's so great! i'm really proud of you!!!! wow, that's what we need more of, people to raise awareness. WELL DONE!!!!!!!!! x x

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 15:08:33 2002 (#1807)

Ohh thats sooo cool WELL DONE He he you deserved it it was wonderfull.
Im really proud of you
LOads a love n hugs
She

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by Rhonda on Fri Apr 12 00:44:01 2002 (#1824)

WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really happy for you and
I hope he does read up on SI. The more people know
the real facts about this, the better off things
could be. I'd keep that paper in a scrapbook or
something like that. This is for you,
((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))) ))))))))))))))))))))))
You done good!!! Take care of yourself.
Love, RHonda

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by pink girl on Fri Apr 12 02:57:04 2002 (#1828)

that is sooo fantastic!
well done on getting 100%
it would be good to have permenantly on this site or something for people to read it if they know someone or something like that
:)

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by Erin on Fri Apr 12 03:41:34 2002 (#1831)

thats really good.. you deserve that grade. you did a great job on it

Re: psych paper grade
Posted by Maggie on Fri Apr 12 10:30:39 2002 (#1833)

Well Done Girl!!!
I think I remember that you posted it on Psyke for us to read, and I thought it was great.
You deserved to do well... it's also encouraging to hear that you've educated somebody successfully on a condition, which is largely still misunderstood.

Take care,
Maggie.

raised skin
Posted by melz on Thu Apr 11 05:18:24 2002 (#1790)

I have a cut on my leg, and the skin is raised, it wont go away. It's about 8 months old. it's red, sometimes the skin gets itchy. 2 1/2 inches long, and the width is about half the size of my pinky finger. Should i have gotten stitches? Too late now, but should i get a huge bandaide and put neosporin on it? Any ideas on how to make it go away?

Re: raised skin
Posted by Jade on Thu Apr 11 08:35:18 2002 (#1792)

If it's 8 months old then it's too late for neosporin, it's offcially a scar. But it's not too late to make it go away, you can get scar reducer things at lots of stores, they're by the bandages, it kind of looks like a bandage, there's a few in a box and they make the scar look less obvious. They won't go away all the way unless you get plastic sugery. You can also order scar reducers from magazines and stuff. Good Luck!

Re: raised skin
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 13:30:56 2002 (#1798)

It won't go away now but you can do things to make it fade. You can buy stuff like that most places. I hope it works for you! good luck. x x

Re: raised skin
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 15:11:01 2002 (#1808)

oppsey .Nah it probabley wont go now but dont worry it should fade a iccle
Love n stuff
She

Re: raised skin
Posted by cindy on Thu Apr 11 23:06:42 2002 (#1818)

my bf has some hugely raised scars like you describe. since i've been going out with him (over a year a go) the smaller ones have gradually shrunk down and faded from bright red to pale pink and that's without putting anything on them. so i should think as long as you look after them and maybe put some of the prementionend stuff on them then they should at least fade. cindy xox

Re: raised skin
Posted by Crimson Fire on Fri Apr 12 03:02:31 2002 (#1830)

yeah dude i have those all over my arms. i dont think it needed stitches though, probably just steri-strips. but yeah i dont know what to do about the itching, but its super annoying i know, but you can try and fade them with all that stuff you can get over the counter and in magazines and shit.

dam law
Posted by snoopy on Thu Apr 11 07:13:15 2002 (#1791)

i just thought i would let u guys know that i was trying well thinking about a gun licence but when u apply over here in nz they check if u have been under the act mental health act that is and if u have u cant get it dam it all i was just wondering if it was like that in all the countrys well call me curious
i myself have not been under the act thank god but i know some friends who have and i think it is real unfair i mean it is ok if u apply for the licence just after u have been under the act but im talking say seven years ago that really sux to me thats just disadvantaging us people just because we have a mental health condition that really sux even
its not the point of the licence its just the point of there bloody naieve minds
cheers snoopy

Re: dam law
Posted by Jade on Thu Apr 11 08:46:56 2002 (#1793)

In Oregon you can't get one for 10 years, no matter what you were in for. If you were in for freaking out and trying to kill someone or something I'd agree, but you shouldn't be restricted because you self-injure or tried to kill yourself. People need to stop thinking that someone being a threat to themselves makes you a threat to others. There are no statistics or studies to support this thinking, it's just social taboo.

Re: dam law
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 13:34:27 2002 (#1799)

That sux. In england I don't think you can get one if you've got a bad mental health past. I agree that it's a good idea if people are a danger to others, but if they're just a danger to themselves it's stupid. I mean what do they think, that they're saving people or something. If someones determined to kill themselves they'll do it whether they've got a gun or not. it's not gonna make a difference.

dismissed
Posted by kae on Thu Apr 11 13:49:46 2002 (#1800)

I have been dismissed...by everyone who knows me...as having nothing wrong with me.

I know why.

Its because I smile. Its because I get out of bed and face the world each day. Because I work hard at school and get decent marks. Because I love going out with my friends. Because I perform in school productions and play for the 1XI girls soccer team.

Its because I act so normal. Just like a regular teenager.

They have all seen the scars. They are the only thing that suggests that something is wrong. But my physical normality seems to delete them. People see them, and they ask about them. They know what they are. But they don't believe they are real. They can't believe that the same girl whose body bears them could have hurt herself like that.

And so they make their own conclusions. They say "Look at Katie's arms. Psycho, man!" or "Don't worry, its just attention-seeking." or "Its just a phase, it'll pass. She's normal." or "She's just weird, who cares."

Physical happiness and self-inflicted pain seemed to balance. Or even cancel each other out. The happier I can appear, the less obvious the scars are.

She is normal, they say. Sure, she seems to hurt herself sometimes, but there can't be anything seriously wrong. Look at her - she's happy, isn't she? She's normal. It must be just a phase. She'll get over it. She doesn't act depressed. She just wants attention. Ignore her.

Its true. I show no signs of real depression. I don't cry excessively for no reason. In fact, I don't cry at all. I don't sit blackly in a corner of a room, staring at the floor and not speaking. I don't have trouble getting out of bed, unless I'm tired or its cold. I don't lie on my bed for hours at a time, gazing at the ceiling. I don't feel I cannot face school and stay home.

I SI. I cut, burn and bruise my body because I hate it. I hate myself and I hate my body. I hate how I think, how I act, how I seem to ruin things for myself all the time. I have never really fit in, but god knows I tried. I have a deep black emptiness within me...a dark void which never goes away. Hurting my body fills that void for a little while. For then, I can see that my pain is real...that I do exist, that there IS something wrong. I have to prove that to myself.

But all that doesn't matter because nobody understands. I can't explain it and I can't show it. To everyone else, I am just normal. I am just going through a 'phase'. I will get over it.

How can I get over it? I hate my Self. This is the Self I am stuck with for the rest of my life. I don't want that Self. I don't want to be Katie. I hate her. She will never be anything or anyone. She will never succeed. She will never get a decent career. She will fail. She will die.

One day I might stop giving her so many chances and kill her. Maybe then I will be free.

Free....I love that word. I want to be free.

kae

Re: dismissed
Posted by Star (amz ) on Thu Apr 11 14:04:35 2002 (#1802)

Hi:), i read your post and id been just checkin if there was any new ones and i though i would just say hi, i dont understand and i wont try and pretend i do cause i dont cut, but i have seen the pain that others have gone thru close to me with it and so from that point i start to understand. Im sorry you feel that way about yourself as you seem to b a really special person, and very intelligent etc, i dont think people see me as i really am just what they want to see as well so i do also understand ur thoughts on this, i really wish i could say something to help it all work out, but i guess i cant so ill just say im sure Kae that you have many really good friends on here as there are so many people on here who seem so very special, If you ever need anyone to talk/rant etc to im always here.
Take care and i hope you see the beauty in yourself.
Love
Amz xx(star)

Re: dismissed
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 15:15:13 2002 (#1809)

You should not be dismissed by anybody. You know how you feel, you know that it isn't a phase and you aren't weird. Many people do what we do, a lot more than I could ever have dreamed of. You aren't alone sweetie, I care about you so much. If you ever wanna talk I'm here. Love always, el; x x

Re: dismissed
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 16:47:21 2002 (#1810)

We shouldnt feel dismissed but i guess we do quite a bit.Its really cool having theas boards cause there is no way you can feel allone with them around.
Loads a love and hugs
She

random shit
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 17:09:17 2002 (#1813)

Today my "friend" Rich came round to see me. He's had a rough time like me and he's a real sweetie pie. We have a lot in common and he brought me a pack of fags so it was good. He was asking me how things are going, he knows about my cutting, and he's the only one who doesn't treat me like a leper. my friend rob's lovely but he doesn't understand. I don't know why I'm writing this really, it's just rich has just gone and i've realised how much i've missed him. Also my dads coming home tonight, he's been away at work all week, and I'm dreading it. I wanna cut so bad but I'm trying so hard not to. I'm just rambling now and probably boring everyone to death so i'll shut up. I'm sorry.

Re: random shit
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 17:19:48 2002 (#1814)

Your never borring .Oww he seams really nice .
Use the roses if you want to:o)or you could borrow my stinging neatles to and put them in your fathers bed .Owch Erm im not much seance am I . Okey doked Ill shut up (thats usually the best thing when i talk crap).
Love you loads n loads
She

Re: random shit
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 12 01:00:22 2002 (#1827)

If rambling makes you feel better than ramble all you want. We all understand.

Re: random shit
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 12 20:05:12 2002 (#1839)

Random shit is the best type of shit!

help
Posted by *me* on Thu Apr 11 22:29:37 2002 (#1815)

Life is shitty. We all know that. But you know how sometimes things start looking up, and even though you still feel crappy on the inside, you think, hey, maybe things might get better. They don't. BAM something hits you and you realize that you were an IDIOT for thinking that. The bottom just falls out from under you and you're falling...falling...falling... deeper and deeper in and you can't climb back out. I'm falling. I can't stand this anymore. Life. MY life. I can't take it. I can't. I can't go on like this. Everything is so fucked up. It is it is and I can't take it. Cutting doesn't even help anymore. I cut and I burn and I see the blood and I see the scars and it doesn't help anything. It used to at least help. It used to help.

Nothing in this world can be controlled. We're all out of control of everything. There's not a damn thing we can do. And I can't take it. I need to make this stop. It feels like I'm just spinning. It's like everyone and everything wants to knock me while I'm down. The universe is against me. Nothing nothing nothing at all is going right, everything is going so wrong wrong wrong wrong and I let it bother me. I let it bother me and it's pushing me deeper down. It's all pressing on me..and I can't breathe. I can't live like this. Please help me.

Re: help
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 22:40:53 2002 (#1816)

sweetheart, you just have to take a deep breath and take each day as it comes, that's the only way you're gonna get through this. I know exactly how you feel and I know that it hurts so badly you think you'd rather die than live with that pain for another second. But you have to keep going. I love you hun and I want to help you if I can. Write to me if you want to talk, i'll always be here for you. Keep fighting. Love always, el x

Re: help
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 22:43:29 2002 (#1817)

hay sweetie . Your not an idiot we have all thourght that at some stage but mabey it will get better eventually fuck it cant get any worse.Can it?
Dont give up yet Im here for you if you want to talk any time.
Loads a love an hugz
She

Re: help
Posted by Rhonda on Fri Apr 12 00:48:01 2002 (#1825)

What can I do to help you honey? If I can, you know I will. I'll always be here for you and anyone else.
Love ya,
Rhonda

Losing it
Posted by eleanor on Thu Apr 11 23:27:14 2002 (#1819)

Pain stains my heart like blood stains on my sleeve/These marks of depression can never be erased/The glares of their contempt I try so hard to escape/Keep appearing round each corner of this everlasting maze

I look at life as an everlasting maze, something I keep getting lost in. It's like every corner I turn there are people or events frome my past that I hoped I had lost forever who appear again to hurt me even more. I don't know. This probably made no sense to anyone. I think I'm losing it. I think I think too much. Maybe I'm just tired

Re: Losing it
Posted by Erryn on Thu Apr 11 23:44:14 2002 (#1820)

hey i liked it keep it up oh and yes it does make sense alot of sense take care xxErryn

Re: Losing it
Posted by She on Thu Apr 11 23:59:23 2002 (#1821)

It maskes a hell of a lota seance.
Keep writing yeah.
Love you loads an loads
She

Re: Losing it
Posted by liverpoolfc on Fri Apr 12 00:59:07 2002 (#1826)

My new psych. said that my thoughts are whats getting me in trouble with myself. I don't know how to change my thoughts though. I'll let you know when I find out. Stay cool. xoxo

Re: Losing it
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 12 20:03:21 2002 (#1838)

Hello
I know how you feel. It makes sense to me. Enemies from the past keep reappearing in my life, a constant reminder of the pain they gave me for years and the bad decisions I made. I am locked in my stupidity. Every where I go it's the same thing. I'm sorry I can't give you any advice.
Ella x

Re: Losing it
Posted by Rhonda on Sat Apr 13 03:26:14 2002 (#1855)

Hey honey,
I don't think you're losing it. I think you're just tired like you mentioned. How's the book coming? I'm looking forward to reading the next
writings you post from it. Also, I've tried sending you some e-cards, but they get sent back to me. Is there a space in your e-mail or something that I'm missing? Either post here or send me an email and let me know what I've go messed up so I can change it. Let me know if I
can help you in any way honey. Take care of yourself.
Love ya,
Rhonda

Rhonda
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 10:40:26 2002 (#1858)

Hey! My email addy is eleanor_magik@hotmai l.com I can't think of any reason why they aren't being sent but I'll check! Thank you!!!! I'll be putting the next bit of my book on in the next few days. Love el x x x

The cutting is back
Posted by Alana on Fri Apr 12 05:33:17 2002 (#1832)

Done and done. There's nothing I can do to turn back what I've done. It's there. They'll laugh at prom. It's gross.

Alana

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by kae on Fri Apr 12 13:48:13 2002 (#1834)

You slipped up. Come on, we've all had slip-ups, and you've already managed to get so far without cutting. Make it a one-off...learn from it. If its made you feel this bad afterwards, it'll deter you from doing it next time.

I don't want to sound like a know-it-all shithead because I know thats not want you want to hear. Its up to you whether you continue SI, because you know from experience where it will take you.

you can yell at me if I've said the wrong things.

luv 'n hugz, kae

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by Alana on Fri Apr 12 14:28:36 2002 (#1835)

Nothing but the right things. Thanks love.

Alana

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 12 19:10:14 2002 (#1836)

I don't think I can say anything better than what Kae said. just to let you know that I did read your post and I do care. Take care of yourself! Love always, el x x

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 12 20:06:00 2002 (#1840)

Don't give up, we have all been there.

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 00:32:17 2002 (#1847)

YEah we all love you .Your gonna look gorgouse at the prom scars or no scars.
xxxxxxx
loads a love
SHE

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by Rhonda on Sat Apr 13 03:03:45 2002 (#1851)

Don't sweat it Alana, it was a slip up and that
happens from time to time. Be proud of the time you didn't cut and take to heart that you can do it again. Everyone backslides honey, just don't beat yourself up over it cause I sure don't. Just go and enjoy your prom and let everyone say whatever they want to. It will be YOUR night!! Take care of yourself sweetie.
Love, Rhonda

Re: The cutting is back
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 19:45:12 2002 (#1891)

you know what? if it made you feel better at the time then there you go. if it didnt make you feel better at the time...then well you wont do it next time will ya or try not too anyways. try not to feel so bad bout it if it helps you get through the days then fuck every1 else at the shitty prom.

take care xx

hello
Posted by Broken Girl on Fri Apr 12 19:32:06 2002 (#1837)

Hi
I haven't been on much for the past couple of days; there's been a lot going on. Had my tarot cards read to day, they said I would recover from an illness, I suppose cutting is an illness, so that's a light at the end of the tunnel. And that I'd do well in my career, which is also good news because I have been fretting over my GCSE options and the fact that I will probably go no where in life. So that is my useless info for you. Here are some apologies:
I am sorry about…
-My email address, I am sorry it is crap. But I was stoned so it can't be helped. Plus it convinces my mum I am half normal/happy/whatever.
-Clogging up the board with my suicidal/angry/pointless ramblings… they aren't at all interesting!
-This irrelevant post!
Love ya
Ella x

Re: hello
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 12 21:32:50 2002 (#1841)

Hey sweetie! My email adress isn't exactly great either! hehe! Also I like reading your posts. Mine are mostly a load of meaningless babble so I should probably be apologising as well! I'm sure your gcses will be fine. It was hard for me to chose but I did fairly well considering I was off for 6 months just before them with glandular fever and depression, so there is a ray of hope somewhere! It's good to hear from you, keep posting! Love ya, el x x

Re: hello Eleanor
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 12:57:30 2002 (#1865)

Hi
thanks for your support, Im gonna do art as a GCSE and probly Child development. Im glad I can email you cuz no one listens at home and school!
Love ya
Ella x

Re: hello Eleanor
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 16:32:41 2002 (#1871)

I like getting emails from you! I love art!!!! I wasn't allowed to do it for gcse but noe I've got some time off from my a levels I'm gonna do an evening course in it. I'm also gonna do photography as well. keep mailing me!!!! Love ya, el x x

helpful friend?
Posted by Crimson Fire on Fri Apr 12 22:11:59 2002 (#1842)

hey guys ok this is really weird. i never thought id ever meet someone in person who cut too. like i seriously thought it was something that just random people across the country did and that youre never actually going to meet someone in person who does. so anyway i was in the library today with betsy and this guy zach working on some hmk. and zach is REALLY good friends with betsy and im pretty good friends with her. so apparently zach is kinda a cutter and he thought betsy already knew so he said something about it and i was like WHAT?? you cut yourself??? and hes like yeah. and i was like lemme see cause i didnt believe him and he was like no. and i was like yes just show me so he showed me and it was just like a couple cat scratch type stuff but he started talking about why he did it cause i was like wiggin out like YOU DO THAT??? WHY???? and hes like well its kinda a stress reliever ya know? it feels so good. so i was like ok so maybe he doesnt cut nearly as bad as i do or nearly as often but he must know how im feeling. so i spent the entire day debating whether i should tell him or not cause i really wanted to, just to know that someone else understands or whatever. so i told him and made him promise not to tell betsy and i trust him that he wont. but what surprised me was that i was like "hey ok i just really wanted to tell you this but its really weird and ive never just told someone before..." and hes like yeah go for it what is it? and i was like well i kinda do the same thing as you..and have been for over a year now. and hes like ok tahts cool. what is this thing youre talking about? and i couldnt make myself say it so i just showed him my wrist with like 7 or 8 scars i didnt wanna show him my whole arm and he was like oh ok. so you kinda understand what i meant then. and i was like yeah i completely understand. and hes like dont your parents know? and i was like yeah. and hes like whatd they do? and i was like well ive seen about 15 psychiatrists in the past couple months. and hes like and what did they do? and i was like well im "on" antidepressants i just dont take them. and hes like cool. and then i left. and for some reason that was like the perfect way to respond. like "thats cool." and whne he left later he didnt say goodbye or anything and i was kinda relieved i donno. its weird. i dont think ill ever really be able to talk to him about it, but its just comforting to know that im not 100% hiding at school ya know? like at least one person knows.

Re: helpful friend?
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 12 22:26:49 2002 (#1843)

thats good. Its good to know you're not completely alone isn't it? I hope you're ok sweetie! I'll write to you some time soon ok? luv ya!! El x x

Re: helpful friend?
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 19:41:11 2002 (#1890)

yeh it dus make you feel better dunt it! i told one friend and ive had friends tell me that they cut but as of yet i havent picked up the courage to tlel them. i know three of my friends that cut. its qiute scary actually because its sooo common but its a taboo subject still? strange huh? take care hun love scared aka donna

does it ever get easier
Posted by Abby on Fri Apr 12 22:45:58 2002 (#1844)

Ok I have not been here for awhile. I have been having bouts when I don't cut but whenever the smallest thing happens to me I want to and nothing can stop me. why is it so hard to stop. I just want life to be easy and it just keeps getting harder especially when I don't cut. I hate life.
abby

Re: does it ever get easier
Posted by eleanor on Fri Apr 12 23:51:58 2002 (#1845)

god do I know what you mean. I don't know if it will get any easier. it hasn't for mr yet but it does for some people so I'm still hoping. mail me if you wanna talk. love always, el x

Re: does it ever get easier
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 00:39:30 2002 (#1848)

I dont know if it will ever get easier but i dont think it canpossibly get any harder.
loads a love
She

Re: does it ever get easier
Posted by Rhonda on Sat Apr 13 03:15:22 2002 (#1852)

Abby,
It can get easier but it takes time. the time depends on each person. I figured with Tara we would be going through this for years and years, but I guess we just got lucky. Why? I don't really know, but I'm guessing the good Lord had
something to do with that cause Tara had so many people, friends and family, praying for her during the hard times. she says there are times when she gets depressed that she will think about cutting, but then she always goes back to whatever
her Dr. and her talked about. She says that helps
her out a lot. I don't know what it is, but I'm so glad we found Dr. Gilbert for her. He was and still is a godsend. Tara has gotten better, but she wnet through so many hard times and it took her several years. I know many of you have been dealing with this a lot longer and still are struggling with it. There is hope in the future, I
guess you just have to bust your butt for a while
to get there. If you ever want to talk, just email me. I'm usually here 3 or 4 times a week in the evenings. (Oklahoma time) Take care of yourself.
Love, Rhonda

Re: does it ever get easier
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 13:00:12 2002 (#1866)

I hope it gets easier...
Love ella x
PS email me if you want to talk

Re: does it ever get easier
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 19:38:39 2002 (#1889)

hiya hun....i know how you feel....dus it get any easier? well evry1 sez it does? but i dont know.....i hope that it dus for you some day. email me if you ever need to chat take care love scared aka donna xxx

new level of despair
Posted by cindy on Sat Apr 13 00:12:27 2002 (#1846)

god I cant remeber ever feeling as low as I do right now. I've had to turn aorund all the mirrors in the house just in case I should catch a glipse of myself in one. I feel so stupid and worthless and I dont know why. all I seem to be able to do is pity myself and how pathetic is that? well so much for a month without cutting-last night I didn't even manage to avoid cutting my lower arms. so it's back to scars and obsessing about long sleeved t-shirts....fuck it's nearly summer. I dont want to go on holiday because the idea of all that bright light terrifies me. I just wish the world we lived in was perpetually dim so that no-one could ever trully see you. that would be perfect. although for some reason I came across a goal for myself last night-somethign that I feel I have to achieve in my life. I want to live in peace in happiness you know when you like meet old married couples and they just look so beautofully in harmony with one another, that kind of contentment is all I want from this life. I just hate the fact that the chances of me achieving it are so slim. take care everyone. cindy xox

Re: new level of despair
Posted by Erryn on Sat Apr 13 01:43:14 2002 (#1849)

hey girl just rty to hang in there and remember we will always be here for you. take care xxx Erryn

Re: new level of despair
Posted by liverpoolfc on Sat Apr 13 01:51:21 2002 (#1850)

I met a guy last night who told me to make one goal in life and work my ass off to get there. And when you get there you can set another goal. I believe you can achieve your happiness. I feel the same way as you do, but one day I will be above all the hate that has gotten me so low. I know you can do it. I believe everyone in this discussion board has it in them. We all injure ourselves because we don't want to harm somebody else, so we take it upon ourselves. We are special people whether anybody believes it or not.Take care.

Re: new level of despair
Posted by Rhonda on Sat Apr 13 03:18:38 2002 (#1853)

I'm so sorry you're having a bad time Cindy. Anything I can do to help you? Take care of yourself.
Love, Rhonda

Re: new level of despair
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 10:44:08 2002 (#1859)

That's a lovely goal. Just focus all your energy on acheiving it and don't worry if you slip up every once in a while, it's only human. Take care of yourself sweetheart. Love always. x x

Re: new level of despair
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 19:33:11 2002 (#1888)

i know how you feel hun. i hope you feel better soon. you can always email me if you feel like chatting love scared aka donna xxx

Re: new level of despair
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 15:25:04 2002 (#1897)

Yeah i know how you feel but eleanor is right it is a lovley goal dont give up on it and keep working slowly towards it.
Loads a love n hugz
She

Thought I could handle it
Posted by KAT on Sat Apr 13 03:22:55 2002 (#1854)

hello..yeah, I'm here..anyway
I thoguht I was okay with people seeing my "new" scars, they are pretty ugly, but I went to school today and it was horrible, by the end of the day I was hiding my left arm with a book..it's a hot day tooo
:(
anyone got any suggestions, It's soooo annoying!and hurtful
love you!

Re: Thought I could handle it
Posted by kae on Sat Apr 13 04:25:22 2002 (#1856)

hey KAT, so good to see you back here! How are you?

I can sympathise with the summer/scars thing...in New Zealand, summer has ended and winter is starting to take hold, but I went through the same thing you're going through. Its impossible to wear long sleeves on hot days, and anyway, people give you strange looks. I used a lot of concealer over the summer, which I just applied to the scars in the morning. Just be sure to get one that matches your skin! I also wore a lot of bracelets to hide the scars on my wrists. And I kept my left arm bent and held close to my side whenever I was around my scrutinizing parents...it sounds bizaare but it did help!!

Theres not a lot else you can do...my scars faded slightly during the summer anyway, so that was a bonus.

Take care and good luck!!

luv 'n hugz, kae

Re: Thought I could handle it
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 10:46:21 2002 (#1860)

Hey. The only thing I can think of is putting make up over the scars. this helps them blend in slightly and they only shw up if people look closely. GOOD LUCK! love el x

Re: Thought I could handle it
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 12:54:25 2002 (#1864)

hi, summer id coming and I guess that means the same trouble I had to go through last year; a lot of braclets (wrists) and trousers and long skirts at all times. Foundation and concealer are helpful but my scars are fading too.
Ella x

Re: Thought I could handle it
Posted by KAT on Sat Apr 13 17:50:56 2002 (#1879)

thatnkls everyone!! yeah I understand those are good suggestions, but my scars are visible from really far away and they arent covered up easily with concealer or braceletes, they are to high up..anyway..I suppose I'll just live with myself ..I mean I put them there.
anyway thatnks again
love you all

email addy changed
Posted by Dawn on Sat Apr 13 09:28:50 2002 (#1857)

Hi you all, This is me, Dawn, the same getting closer to 50 lady who has been to hell and back and am keeping on surviving whatever comes my way.

Every day its something new. Today its Spam (unwanted commercial mail) don't know how it found me in but it did. I have been kicking it back and forth with web support. Finally I just decided to delete that address all together. Doing so makes me feel I have power I need to use on not cutting, or thinking of whether to live or die. I want to live and show everyone that you can live the life I've lived and keep surviving. That goes for all of you, especially you Kat. I've missed you.

This board has changed and its different, but our problem is still fight, fight, fight, Don't let circumstances and hassels and people who don't do what we think they ought to get us down. We have the power to change only ourselves, and if our friends are doing things we don't like, or is abusive then we need to speak up and say, "That is enough. I'm a person not a punching bag. If you are not going to treat me with respect, then I'm moving on." And I'm not talking about running away. That is a road you don't want to go down. Trust me, sleeping under bushes in the dirt, or waking up with straw in your clothes or hair, or being raped for the opportunity to sleep in a real bed and eating hot food isn't worth it. Email me, talk to me I know what its like. And I'm not going back. I've learn a few things surviving for 49 3/4 years. And I will be to you what I never had. a real friend to talk things over with.

Still Dawn and still believing in a God who watches out for me even when I go astray and try to live my life making up the rules as I went along. hugs

Re: email addy changed
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 10:49:22 2002 (#1861)

Hey Dawn. Hope you're doing ok. It's always so good to read your posts because they're so full of hope. You've helped me so much in my time on the board. thank you. Take care of yourself, so many of us care about you here. Love always, eleanor x

Re: email addy changed
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 10:59:33 2002 (#1862)

Hiya
How you doing??Its lovley to have you on the board.Its really good to see that you can survive through things.
load sa love n hugz
She

Re: email addy changed
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 18:55:45 2002 (#1884)

thankyou dawn....hugz back xxx

Trapped forever
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 12:28:51 2002 (#1863)

No escape. Where ever I go theres always someone watching, someone talking and looking. All the f*cking time. At home only mum knows and shes in denial so I have to hide it from her anyway. At school some of my friends know and one even used to cut as well, but she stopped no problem and that makes me feel so pathetic. Besides, out of school there is one girl I trust. She's one of those people who only talk to you when theres no one else around but she cuts. I like her. But she doesn't like me, she just uses me. Im pathetic because I let her because theres no one else is there? But now it turns out that she knows loads of people at my school, and Im so scared cuz shes the only person I have ever told about my suicide attempts and she spends 75% of her life stoned or drunk so what if she tells them? Its bound to spill out some time.
Its the same with most people in my life, wishing I could hate them because they treat me so bad, but keep letting them do it again and again. I need a safe little haven where I can be free and honest, somewhere I don't have to worry. This is it guys, I love you all cuz you are the only people to listen to me. I wish I could repay you ...
Love ella x

Re: Trapped forever
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 15:11:49 2002 (#1868)

Hiya

Argh people can be so crule but i really dont think she would tell anyone about your secrets even if she is out of it .
Yeah i know what you mean about the bord i feel the same you are the only people thart i can trust.
Love you all loads n loads
She

Re: Trapped forever
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 16:36:26 2002 (#1872)

You do repay us just by being here. You're always there to help or to talk to and that's all we need! the only people I can trust are on here. I've made some amazing friends (you know who you are! :) and I love you all! x x

Re: Trapped forever
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 17:45:15 2002 (#1877)

Hi
I know she shouldn't tell people even if shes out of it, but I also know she doesn't giva f*ck about me so thats why Im worryed. But then again none of my 'friends' appear to care about me, even my dad doesnt give a toss, Im just a way for him to get back at mum,
Ella x

Re: Trapped forever
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 18:53:59 2002 (#1883)

i love ya hun! youve helped me loads and loads and im soo grateful for that! how can i repay you?! hope you are feelin better chuck email me sometime yeah.....im really chuffed now that i can send and recieve emails without owrying!!!!

hope you ok love donna xxx

hey its me!
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 14:45:28 2002 (#1867)

hiya! ive made sense of myself i think! its scared aka donna here yeah but ive had to change my name again! ive also set up a hotmail email adress so if anyone dus email me dont email me at my old adress for those that know it ok?
reasons for this.....well mum and dad reading my email so decided to set up another adress instead of telling people to stop writing....oh and i changed my name bcs mum saw me on here i think...so to be safe my name has changed. she shouldnt read this one but if she dus then im buggered!! but its better than stopping alltogether coz i like posting here. love ya all xxx

Re: hey its me!
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 15:16:10 2002 (#1869)

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!
I missed you sweetie pie.((((((((hugs))))))))))
Argh pearents i think my mother knows everything i do apart from si.I like you posting here.
Keep in touch .
Love you loads n loads
She

Re: hey its me!
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 16:08:28 2002 (#1870)

HEEELLLLOO bak!!!!! ive missed u loads 2!!! howvyabin then???? HUGZ

Re: hey its me!
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 16:38:27 2002 (#1873)

hey sweetie!!!!!!!!!!! I've missed you sooooooo much!!!!!!!!! I'me so glad your back!!!!!! ((((((((((((((((((BIG HUG!)))))))))))))))))))) Love ya! el x x

Re: hey its me!
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 16:45:11 2002 (#1874)

P.S Mail me sometime ok honey?! I wanna hear all your news!!!! x x x x x x x x x x

Re: hey its me!
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 17:26:19 2002 (#1876)

Hi
Its good to have you back!
Ella x

Re: hey its me!
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 17:46:44 2002 (#1878)

Im ok at the moment but i gotta go back to school on tuesday (its ok for some :o)).
Let me know how things are
Hugzzzzzzzzzz
Loads a love n stuff
She~she

Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by Broken Girl on Sat Apr 13 17:24:49 2002 (#1875)

Hi
Here are some quotes I really like. And a poem I just wrote. It's about all the people at school who think they are my friends, but they aren't. They aren't friends with me, they are friends with the other person in me who takes control when I am at school, the version of me who laughs and tells jokes and lives another life to the existence that I have. I guess I kind of envy her…

"All happy families are very much like one another and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
"This planet could be another owns hell."
"You can fool some people sometimes, but you cant fool all the people all the time." -Bob Marley

What's the point in living// When your living as a lie// Your legs are always bloody// Your tears are running dry// Those people are not my friends// They don't know the real me// They like the girl who smiles// The girl who pretends to be free// The girl they see at school// But seldom is she out// Her eyes are always angry// Her soul screams and shouts// They don't know who I am// They don't know how I feel// I wish that I could cry// But through my knife is how I feel.

Re: Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by She on Sat Apr 13 17:51:57 2002 (#1880)

Wow i love that poem its soo cool god you people are amazing writers xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
I like bob marley quotes
theres on i liked
"if you dont swim to good dont go in the water to deep" never really understood it but its kinad cool huh?
and another quote i really like is
"only when the last tree is cut down and the last river poluted and the finall fish is caught then and only then will we see that we can not eat our money"
hurmm
well im going away for the night and i better get packed.
Love you alll.
She~berry***

Re: Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by eleanor on Sat Apr 13 18:15:51 2002 (#1881)

the poem was great! I really liked the quotes as well. There are loads of quotes that I like, I can't think of them right now but I've got em written down somewhere so i'll write them here later. Love ya loads, el x x

Re: Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 18:51:32 2002 (#1882)

wow! they were really good quotes and the poem too. thanku xx

Re: Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by kae on Sun Apr 14 04:01:39 2002 (#1895)

omigod.....that poem at the end is exactly me....thank you so much, i love it!! i need it. what is it called, where is it from??? i am soo going to copy that out!!!

Re: Poems, quotes and rambling
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 15:26:43 2002 (#1898)

Hi, wow Im very flattered you like my poem, its called 'They don't know',thanks for the support!
Love Ella x

same shit different day
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 18:58:47 2002 (#1885)

oh shite! im really upset now because i cut myself for no apparent reason about an hour ago. i dont no why i did i just got the urge. i was doin so well too....3 weeks i went without cutting but now ive spoilt it! i feel like such a failure. this is so unfair. im scared.

Re: same shit different day
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 15:31:51 2002 (#1900)

Hello
Dont worry to much about that 3 weeks is a Very long time well done :o).Dont give up giving up though you are very strong to have gone so long without it you can do it again.
Loads a love an hugzz
She

Re: same shit different day
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 15:34:59 2002 (#1903)

God if you are a failure then what am I!? I went a week and I was so proud of myself! Dont give up, I cut myself when I was bored yesterday... what the f*ck is that about?!
Ella x

Re: same shit different day
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 15:37:28 2002 (#1904)

I have never even tried to give up its like my oxygen so just saying to yourself im going to stop is an achivement no matter how long it takes im proud of you both ((((((((((hugs))))))))
loads a love
She

Re: same shit different day
Posted by Rhonda on Sun Apr 14 17:06:26 2002 (#1907)

Honey, you haven't spoiled it and you're not a
failure. Please don't think that. It was a slip up
and you know that can happen to anybody. Think,
you went 3 weeks without cutting! That's pretty
damn good as far as I'm concerned. If I can help
you any way, let me know. Take care of yourself.
Love, Rhonda

Re: same shit different day
Posted by eleanor on Sun Apr 14 19:00:50 2002 (#1910)

Baba you did so well, i'm really proud of you! You slipped up once, so what? Don't give up! Love ya x x

OLD BOARD!!!!!
Posted by KAT on Sat Apr 13 19:03:04 2002 (#1886)

anyone know why the old, original board isnt working??
It makes me really sad to know it's not working, It saved me when I was almost gone, and it's been there for me for the past almost 2 years..and now it doesnt work!!!??
anyone know why..does it work for you?
Im talking about the board at
www.ratatosk.net/psyke< /a>

-always

Re: OLD BOARD!!!!!
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 19:20:21 2002 (#1887)

yeah...its gone for good unfortunately....this boards the replacement. i miss it too

Re: OLD BOARD!!!!!
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 15:32:59 2002 (#1901)

I loved that board, but I dunno this board is cool too! But you know what they say about never getting over your first love! Apparently its 'technical difficulties'
Ella x

Re: OLD BOARD!!!!!
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 15:34:59 2002 (#1902)

I loved to old bored everyone seamed so close on it but thios one is pritty cool to now that ive figured out how it works its nice to have somewhere to go but it is a shame the old bord just went with now warning because alot of the new peeps on the old board dont know about this board so we have lost them for a while:o(.
Loads a love n hugs
She

Re: OLD BOARD!!!!!
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 14 23:11:29 2002 (#1920)

the old board was nice we seemed a little closer maybe that will change on this one soon hope everyones okay take care xxxErryn

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by stranger in the night on Sat Apr 13 23:31:06 2002 (#1892)

ive just cried my eyes out and its made me feel better i guess. i recommend making yourself cry. it helps...well it helped me anyway as its ages since ive cried. sorry im babbling again, i do that a lot. i guess its coz i really wanna cut myself again so im trying to keep distracted....and this works so sorry if im bugging ya all xxxx

take care love ya all loads love scared aka donna aka the babbler aka weak

Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by Jade on Sun Apr 14 03:03:50 2002 (#1893)

I'm glad it helped you, that a good sign too, crying is like a built in coping skill. And you're not babbling, even if you were, if it helps you then I'll always be happy to listen.

Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by Rhonda on Sun Apr 14 17:08:39 2002 (#1908)

Crying is good for the soul, it helps cleanse the
body. Don't ever give up honey,I hope you feel better soon. Take care.
Love, Rhonda

Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 19:55:07 2002 (#1913)

We all need a good cry
Love ya
Ella

Re: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 14 23:10:18 2002 (#1919)

I dont like to cry but i seem to do it alot well take care and remember we are all here for you xxxxxErryn

might not come back, sorry
Posted by mego on Sun Apr 14 04:00:05 2002 (#1894)

hey guys, its me. i just need a break from everything for a while, i need to sort some things out. i'll still be online, use my e-mail or if you have aim megox182x if you wanna talk to me. i'm just not gonna come on here and read all the posts for a while, maybe i wont be back at all. sorry. i love you guys. keep in touch with me okay?

megan

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by stranger in the night on Sun Apr 14 10:27:28 2002 (#1896)

hiya mego! its scared aka donna here! aww chuck imgunna miss you soooo much but if you feel like you need to get away then thats kool. i hope everything works out for you girl. youve helped me soo much. im on aol so ill hopefully catch you around sumtime. luv ya take care love donna xxx

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 15:30:39 2002 (#1899)

Hi
Im gonna miss reading all your great poems and posts, but if you need space then its cool cuz we all feel like that sometimes! I hope you sort out wahtever needs sorting out, good luck
Love Ella x

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 15:42:13 2002 (#1905)

Ohh my god .the board is going to be soo wierd without you .I love you loads girl please try to stay in touch e mail me if you want to .
Love n hugs n a really pritty flower
She**
Hope things start to get better soon

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by Rhonda on Sun Apr 14 17:10:08 2002 (#1909)

Take care of yourself and remember that I'm always
here if you need me. I hope you can work things
out in that beautiful, wonderful mind of yours.
Email me if you ever want to talk.
Love, Rhonda

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by eleanor on Sun Apr 14 19:03:21 2002 (#1911)

I'm gonna miss you so much. You're such a big part of my life now. You'd better keep emailing me honey, I can't do without you! Luv ya!

Re: might not come back, sorry
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 14 23:09:02 2002 (#1918)

hey you are truelly a savior in my eyes you have helped me so much and i appriate it so much pleas at least stay in touch and thank you take care xxxxErryn + kids

To Eleanor
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 16:18:57 2002 (#1906)

HIya how are you doing ?
Did you get the pictures im not sure if they came thorough propelly.Do you like the penguins on then i thourght they were soooooo sweete.
Loads a love
She

Re: To Eleanor
Posted by eleanor on Sun Apr 14 19:46:34 2002 (#1912)

Hey sweetie! i got the pictures, they're gorgeous!!! that'll be us someday huh? and we'll have penguins just like that! I can't wait!! I'm not doing too badly I suppose. I'm feeling a bit shitty today, I kinda slipped up a bit and cut last night. I love you loads and loads my alaskan princess!!!! El x x x

Re: To Eleanor
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 23:54:41 2002 (#1921)

Ahh dont worry bout last night we all slip up .And yeah we will be those happy people one day i promise you that.
I love you pola queene
She

Re: To Eleanor
Posted by eleanor on Mon Apr 15 15:39:54 2002 (#1941)

I love you too alaskan princess. x x

To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by eleanor on Sun Apr 14 19:58:20 2002 (#1914)

I open the door and walk into the house
I can't hear your screaming anymore
My ears are closed
I won't let in the pain.

I pick up the phone and listen to the tone
There's noone I can call anymore
Your hearts are closed
My pain's too real for you.

I walk to the kitchen and pick up a knife
I don't think I can stand any more
Your eyes were closed
But soon you'll see too clearly
And you'll wish you saw me properly before.

I guess this is goodbye.

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by Broken Girl on Sun Apr 14 20:05:28 2002 (#1915)

Wow that is so good! Your one talented lady!
Love ya
Ella x

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by Donna on Sun Apr 14 20:16:36 2002 (#1916)

hey eleanor...that was brilliant and so is all your poetry! i just read your post Bestseller?yeah right! That was the most touching piece of writing i have ever came across,probably because i can relate to it but it was brilliant!! keep fightinh!! luv Donna

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by Erryn on Sun Apr 14 23:07:21 2002 (#1917)

you are very brilliant and i love reading your posts you have helped me alot thanks take care xxxErryn

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by She on Sun Apr 14 23:57:33 2002 (#1922)

I love your writting girl.You make me so proud of the way you write xxx hows the book going?
i love the poem i can realete to that.
Loads a hugs and penguins
She

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by stranger in the night on Mon Apr 15 13:43:59 2002 (#1931)

that was really touching. it brought a tear to my eye! i could relate to that unfortunately. keep writing xxx

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by Rhonda on Tue Apr 16 01:50:28 2002 (#1955)

You are sooooooooooooooo talented!!!! Keep writing
and posting your works in progress. I love reading them. By the way, I tried to send you a
card last night and it still sent it back to me.
Take care of your very talented self.
Love ya, Rhonda

Re: To everyone who's ever looked through me
Posted by eleanor on Tue Apr 16 23:50:54 2002 (#1983)

Thank you! it's always feels so good to know that I'm appreciated in some way. I still can't figure out why they're being sent back. At least I know you're thinking of me which is worth a million cards!!! love always, el x x x

last day
Posted by She on Mon Apr 15 00:08:35 2002 (#1923)

hurm
argh 1 day left of the holliday and then hell breaks loose i guess..
At the end of tearm i took an "accidental" ovdose
and everyone in my area has found out about it which is really hard for me cause im usually the quiet one who takes up space .Loads of people who i hardley know or bullied me in school have started to phone me and pretend that we were long time buddies or saying things like shit you are a compleate failier you cant even die properly ,also befor the end of tear blood leaked through my shirt and i had to tell the teachers what i did so basiclly i am really worried about going back to school .God what should i do mabey a mask or disguise hurm mabey i shouldnt go i dunno what do you think? shit im sceared.ohh well im being a pain and blabbering .Ill shut up know.
Sorry
She

Re: last day
Posted by Erryn on Mon Apr 15 01:15:25 2002 (#1924)

i guess i really cant say anything but you wont be happy acting like someone else the way i look at it is if they dont like me for what i am and what i do then its their loss because i am me!!! good luck tommorrow ill be thinking of you take care xxxxErryn

Re: last day
Posted by eleanor on Mon Apr 15 10:55:49 2002 (#1926)

Oh sweetie, I'll kill them all if they do anything to hurt you!!!! Just keep your chin up and think of our igloo! I love you girl, never forget that! I'm sure everything will be ok. Let me know what happens yeah? Love always and forever, elle x x x

Re: last day
Posted by Maggie on Mon Apr 15 13:27:35 2002 (#1930)

You gotta look past everybody else. The only people whose opinions count, are from those you care about. Anybody else who judges you, is not worth your thought processes.

I'm sure you have the strength to stand tall amongst everybody when you start back at school...teachers, and peers alike.

Best of luck,
Luv Maggie.

Re: last day
Posted by stranger in the night on Mon Apr 15 13:46:44 2002 (#1932)

you march into that school with your head held high!!!!! you have nothing to be ashamed of so ignore those idiots! its soo annoying aswell isnt it wen you all of a sudden have support from people who never said hi to you in your life. how strange?

good luck hun...im here for you xxxx

Re: last day
Posted by She on Mon Apr 15 18:00:47 2002 (#1946)

Thanx peeps.
Yeah i decided that tommorrow cant possibly be much worse the last tearm was and i live through that.Thank you all so much its really nice to have spoken to you.
Loads of love
SHe