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Shayla
Copyright, Shayla
my first time cutting was when i was severely depressed. i wanted this guy who didnt want me back and he told me this straight to my face. my parents were fighting and yelling at me calling me and ingrateful littlle brat so i went downstairs and i found a boxcutter that my brother had from work. i took it and ran it alone my lower arm and i saw teh blood and i suddenly felt in control. like i could control the hurt that iw as going through. for the next few days i wore long sleeves so that no one would notice. the next few days things kept going wrong so i kept cutting and cutting. it went on like this for about 4 months then i decided to start cutting at the tops of my legs but i only did that there a few times becuase i couldnt control it as much as when i cut on my arms. a guy that really cared about me noticed it and told me that it scared him. so i stopped for about a week or 2 and i gave him my box cutter. but after a few weeks went by i had the urge to cut again so i did this time making more and more cuts. i would wear 100's of bracelets to try and cover some of my scars. but when people asked me what happened i jsut told them it was the cat all the meanwhile that guy just sat there knowing the truth of why they were there. me and thie guy started dating and it hoguht everything would be alreight but there was still things wrong so i would still cut until i promised him i woudl cut anymore i have him all the boxcutters i had (4) and told my brother not to bring anymore home. and sence then it has been 17 days sence i last cut. i ahve ahd the urge but i fight it and just cry instead