I am one of the few males I have ever heard of with this nature. Ever since I was 13 I have been cutting, slicing, and scratching at myself wildly at times, mostly on my arms. My scars and scrapes are multilayered and as I sit here my arms still flare up. Recently I upgraded to burning my arms, it’s much more painful, and much more effective, but harder to explain if it’s warm and I must wear short sleeves. I remember when it started, I have a bad oral fixation and I was chewing on the side of an empty soda can when a sliver broke off, this was so thin, so light that I tested it against my skin, I don’t know why, and it sliced, hardly noticable, but nice and bloody.
I first cut myself at work with my box knife on my upper left arm. I was under severe stress from my first year of college and because I keep analyzing things too much in my head and make them out to be something that they are not. I felt better but ashamed. A couple days later something else set me off and I cut myself a couple more times. Then one time I was so stressed out that I just went crazy on my arm. I sliced it at least 20 times. My arm literally felt cold and weak afterwards. I couldn’t believe that I had done this so I let it heal some. After about a week and a half I started cutting in a different direction in the same place only this time the cuts were not brief. They were deep and I bled a lot more. At first I only did one at a time but after a while I did more cuts at a time. There is a spot on my upper left arm where there is nothing but scars. I did my best to contain my problem so I considered this a good thing instead of just cutting everywhere. One time I cut myself deeply about 15 times across this area and I bled so much. I just sat back, dropped my razor blade, and let my blood drip down my arm: a metaphor for my pains dripping away with every drip on to the floor.