Psyke.org

Tori

Untitled

Copyright, Tori

I have been cutting myself since I was thirteen now I am fifteen. I don’t cut myself that often I mean I only cut like once every two weeks. But when I cut, I cut really deep only six or seven cuts at time, but they’re deep. I would show my cuts but I don’t have a scanner or digital camera. It’s nice to know that a lot of other people deal with their emotions the same way I do. My two best friends cut just like I do but sometimes I feel like we are the only ones who do it. I don’t share my cuts with anyone else but my best friends. My mom has seen my cuts, she doesn’t like it, and she doesn’t understand that its like a drug and I don’t know how to stop. I started out using razors and I still do, that is why I think all my cuts are so deep. I have the answer to Ciara’s question why do we do it? I know my best friends and I do it because seeing were the pain comes is a lot better than being hurt inside and not know where it comes from. If you would like to e-mail me that would be nice.

Untitled

Copyright, Tori

My name is Tori, and I’m 13. I’ve been cutting for about 2 years. Here is my story.

It all started one day, when I was feeling worse than normal. I just wanted to die. I was in my house, alone, crying. And, I picked up a knife, or something that was sharp (I can’t even remember what), and started to cut my wrists. I didn’t even know why. And the scariest part was that it helped.

So, that’s what I started to do. I didn’t know other people did the same thing. I thought I was alone. Until I found out one of my friends did it too.

I tried to stop, but it didn’t work too well. I’d stop for a month, at the most, and then cut every day for 2 weeks. I didn’t know how to stop, and I still don’t.

One of my friends ended up telling one of the school counselors, my parents got called, and I started seeing a therapist. My therapist made it worse. She told me that I wasn’t normal, that I should be happy, that it was stupid to cut (needless to say, I don’t go anymore). My parents thought (and still think) that it was a phase, or that I was doing it for attention.

I still cut. I still hide it. This past week, I’ve been cutting every day, pretty deep. I’m trying to stop, but I can’t find the strength within.

That’s my story.

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/personal/t/tori