I Should Never
I should never had loved you
I should never had cared
You dont want me
You dont need me
That goes right through me
You never said what you did
You never ment any of that
Yhe pains too large
Your hatred to strong
I cant do this for much longer
I cant show i care for you as i do
Cant go on with the truth
Have to return to the lies
But if you want
Only if you dont mind
Ill still play with your hair…
In my Arms
I see hold her, asleep in my arms
And though I should be feeling love and tenderness towards her
All I feel is hatred
I feel like biting her
Then sucking the blood out from of her neck
Later she’s still there unharmed
In my arms
For what seems like forever
Someone Made Me Bleed
Today, someone ells made me bleed
I let them suck it out of my wrist
As I stopped feeling numb
The feeling of someone doing that cannot be explained with words
My mouth tastes weird
It tastes of blood, mine, and another persons
There’s blood on my bed
There’s blood going thru my head
All I can think of is blood, blades and cutting
She’s gone now, but I’m still bleeding, it won’t stop
Torn Bush of Pain
Tried to stop for you
Then I started again, because of you
It’s all linked
It’s all knotted together like a thorn bush
You try to untangle it
And you get brought into the complications of this vicious circle of life
And the evil things that are part of it
I try to hurt you for revenge
But seeing you upset, in pain
Hurts me too
I am caught in the thorn bush, and I can’t find a way out
I don’t know if I even want to
So I work myself deeper and deeper into this endless bush of painful needles
I get slashes from the thorns all over my naked body
But carry on getting deeper into the painful centre of the thorn bush of life.
Me and Myself
My self-portrait is turning vile.
From here id like to run a mile
I want to be free
I want to leave this body I call me
I hate myself cant you see
Why oh why cant a be freed from this misery
I see her standing there
Upset, depressed, crying
I see her talking there
Upset, depressed, but smiling
I see her sitting there
Upset, depressed, crying, smiling, dieing
I go over to her, I want to be happy
I want her to be happy
She looks at me
Then turns away trying to hide her tears of depression
From me and the rest of the living world
It’s late in the evening
So so late
My candle flickers
I see eyes
Two yellow eyes lined in black
It flickers again and there gone
I step away from where I sore the eyes
The candle flickers again
Then goes out completely
And then I am lined in black
Just like the yellow eyes
I’m writing a poem
A poem for you
I’m smiling a smile
Smiling for you
I’m thinking a thought
A thought for you
I’m feeling a feeling
A feeling for you
I’m doing something
Something for you
The blood drips
Drips for you
I’m letting a tear fall
Fall for you
I’m crying and crying
Crying for you
I’m writing a poem
A poem for you
All i feel like doing is digging the lovely, sharp blade into my skin and see it start to pour, red blood coming out of me like water coming out of a tap.
Black Red Liquid
My blood drops down, i start to feel faint and my mind is in the clouds.
The aftermath, the pain, then it comes again.
My love, for the blood that has left my body, exceeds the love that i feel for myself as a whole.
I see groupies running after bands as if their whole existance depends on spending time with the things they love as much as i love to get all the hatred and pain out of me in the form of a red, deep red, dark red, red black liquid.
Frost bites like a dragon with no flame.
Daggers of grass refracting in the moon’s startaling gaze.
I run, the frost crackles beneath my feat.
stabbing at my feat like little daggers, or stars fallen to my feet.
I care about you, but i also care about the blood that can only come out of me when your around.
When Im with you i can not wait till your gone, until my beloved razor blade can come out to play.
But, when I’m lying there faint with loss of blood, all i want is for you to be here with me, and me only.
If only this crimson form of freedom didn’t leave these untidy marks, freedom-scars.
If only you understood why you’re not involved.
If only I could tell you how happy you make me free you make me feel.
If only only it would stop pouring out of me on to the floor of this untidy public toilet.
My blue shirt, lying there as though a blue angel that hath been aroowed from the sky while flying over us to plunge all the endless miles from there to here, to lay there till carried away.
Silence. so absolute so terrifyingly wonderful.
silence, waiting to be broken, crouching like a cat ready to spring away from the first thing to make a ripple of sound.
I smile when somthing vile happens to me.
i feel like ice when someone says somthing nice to me
and i dont know why i cry when SHE cares about me.
Slice, dice, slash, cut-deep
dribble, dripp, gush and gore
faint, fall, bang and crack
cutting your wrist then braking your back.
i sleep and i creep in my dreams to places unoun and unseen by the eyes of the waking world.
when i wake, i take, the nolage of those places & destory it by forgetting the sites that i have been to in my dream-scape.
another day goes by and when that ones gone i ley there onse again cookooned in my dream-scape, for another night of creeping.