Psyke.org

Captain Obvious

Copyright, Captain Obvious

“It’s rough all over.” — The Outsiders

It’s hard being who you are, what you want, who you want to be when people start referring to you as the perfect child. Yeah, when people start coming up to you with your project in hand and go, “Smells like overachiever.” They’d never think you’d be the one scrambling for a sharp object to stab the hell out of your arm with.

But no matter what anyone says, “Oh I’m so sorry I have a scar on my arm!” I don’t care, I’m proud of my pitiful little cross that I made in my arm. Tears. Tears of joy when I finally made blood peak out of it in math class. Of all places math class, no one even knew why the heck that nerdy kid was smiling with tears in her eyes.

Worst day ever? Possibly, wish I had been sick and didn’t go to school? You bet your life on it. But I do even have to admit now, I really need to pick what the hell I get mad over. But to me at the time I felt like I could have ripped my arm off but the only thing remotely sharp that I have access to in my house, are push pins.

So there I sat, bright yellow push pin in hand, scratching away at my soft admired skin, carving a cross. You’d be surprised how sharp those push pins are. They itch like hell, too. I kept picking and picking, I was so mad that night that my friend actually checked my arms for scratches.

But I hid my scratch under my sleeve.

Then in math, I did it. I finally made it bleed and I don’t think I’ve ever felt that happy. Not the good grades, not the revenge, not even Disney Land has made me so happy.

Even though it’s pitiful. It’s all mine.

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/personal/c/captain_obvious