I am a self cutter… I have been cutting myself for about two years now. I have been to many doctors but I won’t open up to any of them. About four months ago I met this boy. He made me feel good about myself. Which I never do. I stopped cutting. He made me feel so beautiful about myself that I felt strong enough to try and kick my cutting habit. Then one day he just ups and leaves me… Just like that. Now I feel like he just crumpled me up and tossed me to the side of the road… Like a piece of trash he wanted to get rid of. I had recently cut myself. And not knowing that I used a dirty box cutter. I woke up finding that i had a bad stiffness in my jaw… So I truly encourage people that cut to stop. Because now I am in a world of trouble with my parents and the doctors.
I’ve never written on this site before because I didn’t know it was here and I have felt so alone in this cutting. I’ve been in and out of the hospital where I live and they just do not have a clue as what to do. It is like this is all something new to them and they tell me when I figure out why I cut that I will stop. Whatever.
I haven’t been cutting all my life. I’m 39 years old and it started about seven yaers ago then I stopped for about six years and here I am today cutting every day and I don’t have a clue as to why I am doing it. All I know is that I am all scared up and I feel all alone in this. I know that I am hurting my kids, husband and parents and noone knows how to help. How can they when I don’t even know why I do it.
If anyone has any answers, please help.