Psyke.org

Alix

Early Starter

Copyright Alix

I’m sixteen and I’ve been cutting since I was seven. I know that’s really young, but I was one of those totally screwed up kids that played with knives. I didn’t start cutting to release pain or anger. I started because I was curious. I was like a teen trying out a drug. I just wanted to know what it was like. Only do it once, and that’s it, never again. The only problem was that I liked it. I got addicted. Then I kept cutting to show off how strong I was, how much pain I could take. My mom never really wondered why I always had cuts on my arms and legs. I was an accident prone kid and we had something like three cats that were really rough. So here I am, nine years later and I’m still cutting, everyone knows that I cut, but no one really does anything about it. And the main problem is that I know I should stop, but I don’t want to. I enjoy cutting up my arms until I nearly pass out from pain. I’ve been into hospital more times than the gurney I’m usually lying on. I need help. Sometimes when the urge comes I log on to this site and look at the pictures instead of cutting. They can usually keep the urges at bay for the time being. I guess that’s what I’ve been trying to say.

Thank you for the photo pages and thank you to all of the people that contributed to the photo gallery. I don’t know if I should say this or not, but your pain is helping a egotistical, self-mutilating veteran’s cravings disappear. Good luck with your own struggles.

 

Permanent location: http://www.psyke.org/personal/a/alix