I feel my face, I scream with the pain.
Tears are falling, my hate is the same.
My words are whispers, my pleas are loud.
The dark has fallen, I m on the ground.
I try to remain, my sanity breaks.
Inside I m dead, I smile I fake.
I have no end, what will I be.
No more than nothing, I try to see.
My hands are raw, I tried too hard.
My eyes are bleeding, I cry for the start.
I feel no pity, I have no way.
I am so empty, words can t say.
I tear at my skin, I scratch the wall.
I stare at the mirror, there s nothing at all.
Cut deep enough to feel,
Cut hard enough to show,
Cut slow enough to wait,
Cut to bleed.
Cut forever in peace,
Never show your imortalty,
never tell your real,
Forget about the people that dont care,
Remeber the ones who were always there.
Remeber the peice that you share,
The peice of care,
Of sorrow and despare,
Of all of those who were ever there.
When it happened they still cared,
When they noticed they stood there,
Told you it was okay,
That everything would be fine,
And inside your mind,
Everything was fine,
But the blood soon got to you,
and the cuts began to grow,
Soon enough there so many,
They began to show.
Not enough room to hide them,
Not even room to beg,
All you could do was continue to cut,
day by day.
At nite silent crys,
In the day hidden tears,
In the precence of orthers forbidden sorrow.
Your life never grew,
People you knew got older,
Learned there way around,
While you continued to sit on the same ground.
never moving away from your knife,
Never continuing your life,
Forgeting why you were there,
Always in despare.
Awaiting for the time to come,
Wanting nothing to do with yourself,
Still crying painfull tears,
Hiding all your fears,
Making it clear you were okay,
and hiding sorrow day by day.
You died the same old way,
In hurt and sorrow,
In pain and fear,
In tears of pain,
In life itself,
You being me,
Write out your feelings,
Write what you feel,
What you know best,
It isnt a test.
No one will judge you,
No one will care,
Just sit and watch you in despare.
no one to tell you your wrong,
Just like your own paper dolls,
Like a cardboard box,
Doing nothing at all.
Watching you with a gleam in their eyes,
But the blades calling your name,
Run away from the paper dolls,
And make that blade,
make it yours.
Make it last forever,
Make it cut deep enough,
To slit that solid vaine.
to make all the pain go away,
For one second of eternity.
As I feel the blade on my skin
The pain all seems to end
For a split second
I’m drowning in my blood
The pain is no longer their
Can’t this just be the imagine
I see in the mirror
I feel the need to slice
I need a better life
Its not you it’s me
I’m having problems
Why can’t you see?
I wanna get away from here
I’m sick of all the lies
And everything they hide
All of this I feel
For only one split second
Every time I cut
My life just seems
To fade away
And all of this replaces it
Where does it go?
I wonder sometimes.
Then I realize,
It’s all in my mind…
Another writer called Ali sent me the following poem:
Tender feelings, true to my touch
cannot be masked by smiles and such
but once turned wrong, all faith is now gone
there’s nothing left, just take the rest
stare and whisper if you’re the kind,
but you can’t see i’m biding my time
a fine thread i grip tightly
but much to frail to depond on slightly
toothpicks under my fingernails,
cages containing rate to gnaw at my flesh
s-t-r-e-t-c-h my skin!
take my back, bring me home
go away, i need to be alone
oblivion swirls around in confusion
the cloud was once lifted, sifted, out ash of my remains
& do you dream to replace reality?
& do you work to push friends aside?
& do you lie to comfort yourself, but why?
thought patters are jagged like Notes
my life is sketched with do’s and dont’s
pages stained with emptyness
drain my life with thoughtlessness
go ahead, it’s a push of relief
go ahead, i’m right behind you!
go ahead, i’ll watch you choke!
go ahead, i put you here!
pull down your eyelids, drift off to the 2nd state of consciousness
…i’ll hold you here
…i’ll keep you here
…i’ll burry you here!!!
scars on my pride
needles in your eye
drag you down…
…to pick me up!