Psyke.org

Ashley

Cut

Copyright Ashley

Rain, making me feel better
Every drop that touches my face.
Mistakes, too many made lately,
pain, it hurts inside.
I cut myself today, carved my body,
just to ease my pain.
I’m trying to tell you I’m sorry
But i havent quite figured out how.
Down this road I walk alone
broken inside and empty
So many pieces to mend
Back together again.
At the road’s end, so many ways to go
Choice, making the wrong decision
Everyday is just a new mistake.
So will you please just help,
Help me cut myself, cut deep enough to die.
Let me go, erase your memoried of me
And watch the blood run red,v As I happily go.

Letter of your Life

Copyright Ashley

if i cried today would you be there tomarrow
if i slit my wrist would you share my sarrrow
if i told you all my secrets and the lies i made
when i was in my room last night and in the bed i laid
and the color red was dripping from my own rainbow
would u ask what happened to the other colors
well there was no other colors only red the color of the story of my life
you helped me when you seen my pain the first time and you told me to stop
but then it started happening to much lets just say a lot
you turned your back and watched me fall
i banged my head againt the wall
you relized how much pain i was in
and that i could not win
you sat beside me as i cried
and then i seen a single tear roll down your eye
I was so sad that i put you through this
and i relized then what would happen if i were to miss
Hit my vein and soon to fall
roll off my bed and start to crawl
to call you and say im dying im dying soon it my time
why is this poem in ryhme
you might say this as you ran to my house
to see me lay on my bedroom floor dead as ever
and this letter i left for you in my hand.

Her Fate

Copyright Ashley

Lying there, silently
Staring at the wall
Choosing her fate,
Does she need a life at all?
Gun in one hand, knife in the other.
Does it really matter what decision she makes?
The gun drops to the ground
The knife slices the once non-harmed wrist.
Her eyes turn from a pale blue to grey.
Her life once matterered,
Now only her grave.

Pills

Copyright Ashley

1,2
can’t tie my shoes
3,4
gonna hit the floor
5’6
that’s a bad mix
7,8
try and reevaluate
9,10
never gonna breathe again.

Bloody

Copyright Ashley

I cut once,
I cut twice.
I may be bleeding
But it sure feels nice.

As I begin
to slice my skin
the blood
starts to flow.

Already I feel better
My head as high as a cloud
Blood dripping on the floor
The pain is no more.

My So Called Life

Copyright Ashley

Scars on my arms
Scars on my legs
Thier there for life
but for sure worth it
for they are memories
of a sweet victory
they relieved my pain,
in some strange way,
cutting is what keeps me going,
it’s how I survive
how I get through my so called life.

You Were Never Alone

Copyright, Ashley

there are times when all i feel is anger there are times when it feels as though there is a burning ball of hate that sits within me and i feel as if the world is against me and i cry because iam no longer at one with my self or anyone else and that is when i sit alone in my room trying to realse my pain with blood and blisters but when the blood flows out its like the pain just found a way to escape into a world of reverie and hate and when the blisters swell its like my world will never prevail but when i fall fast a sleep its like the world is beneath my feet but its when i wake i realize the world ill never defeat why because your parents will look you in the face and tell you that your a disgrace, because your friends will stand by and let you die, then you will feel alone in the world and lost within your soul and thats when you will find that others are among you that feel the same and together you will mend your wounds and your souls and realize you were never alone.

Empty

Copyright, Ashley

Well, here it is. I’ve been cutting for almost 4 and a half years, and I’ve just turned 15. My first actual poem I wrote, was last year and was called last girl, and told of how she was destined to wear long sleeves. Here is one of my more recent ones:

It doesn’t feel like blood,
But is instead burning cold
It doesn’t sooth like blood,
But instead scares and sadens
It flows like blood,
Through an open wound it goes
My soul has left
I am alone

 

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