My Long Sleeved Armour

Copyright, Q

I am one of the few males I have ever heard of with this nature. Ever since I was 13 I have been cutting, slicing, and scratching at myself wildly at times, mostly on my arms. My scars and scrapes are multilayered and as I sit here my arms still flare up. Recently I upgraded to burning my arms, it’s much more painful, and much more effective, but harder to explain if it’s warm and I must wear short sleeves. I remember when it started, I have a bad oral fixation and I was chewing on the side of an empty soda can when a sliver broke off, this was so thin, so light that I tested it against my skin, I don’t know why, and it sliced, hardly noticable, but nice and bloody. That was that, I stopped for approximately one year solid, simply because it was a low stress year, but other than that it’s been pretty touch and go so to speak, it flares like a slow leaking propane tank. Sometimes it’s often and violent, sometimes I’ll go a week, two, a month without it, but it always returns. Most of the time I feel broken, malformed, and alone in this. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop, and I’m really not sure of how long I can keep doing it either. You’d think one would tire of having to always wear long sleeves, but point being, I chose to do it, so in some way, I must deserve it.


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