13 Alone and Cold


Copyright 13 Alone and Cold

As you can guess I’m thirteen. Well, I had started SI’ing when my dad came down with diabetes. He has also had three heart attacks and I haven’t lived with my mom since I was seven because she started drugs. The night I first cut myself I was so stressed I could have punched right through a brick. But I sat there for a long time thinking if I should do this or not and finally I said to myself ‘just once, that’s all’ and so I reached into my model kit and pulled out a box cutter and cut my self. Then it became a habit, so I made one cut on my wrist every night when my dad went to bed. And I started to wear lots of bracelets to cover it up. Then one night I decided to tell my dad and after that I haven’t cut for about a month or two. When my best friend said that her step mom moved out and then told me she cut and then I told her that I did too. Well, she stopped and I told my best friend what was going on and then she said she cut too. Then I started again and then the first friend told me she cut again and she even held a knive to her wrist going to stab it and end it all. Then that night I made the most amount of cuts on my wrist, fourteen. And I was reading. I had my book light on and I touched the light and it was hot, burning hot, so I burned five fingers and even made a blister on my arm. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.


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