Copyright, Eileen

I’m 17 this month, and I first cut when I was about 12. That lasted about a year, then I quit till this past summer. I started cutting again when I couldn’t control my eating one night. I was in a total daze eating everything in sight, so I started cutting again to stop myself. In a way, I feel like the marks I make are the only control I have over my ugly body. That’s also why I obsess over my hair and makeup being perfect. These superficial things make me feel more in control of my body when I can’t control my weight. I have no plan to stop, but recently I’ve found that marking myself with a pen where I want to cut helps me cut less.


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