Psyke.org

Elz

What I Do

Copyright Elz

I’m fifteen, I live in the UK just outside London. Before I say anything I would like to say that I’m not saying what I do is right or anything. Even since I started secondary school I was bullied about my weight. I wasn’t a skinny person and for that I was bullied. I’m not looking for sympathy and I know people say let it blow over. You and I have tried that, and it works but after a while it eats away at you and it gets harder and harder to let it blow over. Also, I got a mental door in my face cutting my head near my eyebrow. This was done by the guy who bullied me so then I started to punch things, walls, myself, and anything hard. But that never helped it just made me more angry. I don’t know what made me turn to cutting. The first time I did it it was not that deep only a scratch and it made me feel better I agree with people who say it gives you something to think about and concentrate on. But then you get used to the pain and it gets deeper and deeper, and you do more things. Burning is another thing I used to do. Incense and lighters. But then I told a teacher I trusted about how I was and how I felt and it felt so good to tell someone. But then a week after I told him I had a breakdown and was sent home from school. The teacher then told another teacher and made the situation worse and then she told me if I didn’t tell my mum and dad then she would call and tell him so I’m up to the task of telling them. This all happened in the last week. And tonight I’m telling my mum and dad. I know that cutting and self harm isn’t the way to deal but it’s addictive and the best thing is to talk to people, draw or write how you feel and they always help and and please tell your family. They’re the best and will understand, and no matter how hard it gets there’s Always something to live for. Self harm doesn’t just hurt you it hurts everyone around you and then they feel helpless because they can’t help.

 

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