Copyright, Gaia

I started SI’ng when my life got so bad I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I used to be a happy teenager.

I had good marks, friends and that sort of stuff.

But then I made a few mistakes. Got in trouble a few times. Teachers start hassling me and label me as a ‘bad girl’ They put pressure on me. I get angry. Why can’t they leave me alone?

They put so much pressure on me I started SI’ing.

The first time was a suicide attempt. Slit my wrists, drank some poison.

You see everyone at school just thought of me as a bad person. They decided to screw with me. So I gave them what they wanted. I developed a taste for it.

I used an X-Acto knife. I never went too far — just one or 2 at a time.

One time I cut 6 straight lines and one X on my shoulder and I wore a white tee to school. In history I noticed that people were staring at me. I thought nothing of it until I saw that the sleeve of the tee had slid upwards.

My history teacher saw it too.

She kept asking me what had happened whenever she saw a fresh cut or bruise on my arms. She knew. Or suspected.

But she never said anything.

Other times I burnt myself with a cigarette. When I went to sickbay for antiseptic the teacher who signed my note saw the burn and questioned me on it. I said someone smoking had brushed up on me accidently.

She didn’t buy it. She reported me but I got away with the accident story.

Then I ended up trying to kill myself again this time at school.

Ended up in handcuffs and hospital. Almost went insane.

Life sucks sometimes.


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