Copyright Hailee

My name is Hailee and I just started cutting myself. The reason is I just have too much stress and I read about it in a lot of stories so I tried it and it makes me feel better, but I didn’t realise I’m hurting the people around me. Now I can’t stop and I’m best friends with my friend Tom (name changed). He does the same thing. I want to stop but I felt lost before, but it’s not making it better. My arms are all scabbed up. I hide it from everyone including my mom. My life is ruined because my best friend won’t talk to me. Now I’m really mad because I ruined my life. I am doing good in school, I just made a ton of my friends angry and hurt, and my mom doesn’t even know about it. I can’t do p.e. because of my arm and I made myself more numb than I was and since the principal knows I have to give a speech with other people with ‘a disease’ as some people call it. I hope everyone stops and I’ll write again if I recover, just people shouldn’t mess up their lives.


My name is Hailee, and I’m a beginner at self cutting. I get good grades, am pretty popular at school and I can make people laugh. I started being depressed about the age of eleven. See, my parents got divorced, my great aunt died, my great grandfather died and my grandmother died. So I was an emotional wreck. I just would think about suicide never did anything, but more later in elementary school like the 6th grade I started flunking. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but me wanting to die.

That year I met my best friend Lexi. She made me feel a little better and I got adopted into her family of seven. Well, my mom realised I like Lexi’s mom more than her and forbids me over. After she did this I went back to being depressed.

That week there was a football game for our team and I got to go to it, but that wasn’t the happiest night. See, my mom didn’t wash her laundry and she didn’t have any clean pants so she started hitting me calling me a whole bunch of stuff, the works. Well I couldn’t take it anymore. I went in my room, shut the door and sat in front of it. That’s when I saw it. A razor right there. I picked it up and put it on my skin and sliced. How good I thought it felt how happy I was to know I could control the pain. That’s when she was ready to leave so I didn’t get anymore. That night I got a boyfriend. The coolest guy in the school. Anyways, I got home and the abuse began. My mom started hitting my stomach saying let’s kill it now. I was confused. I went in my room and cut again then came back out. She was gone. Of course she was gonna get drunk so I left.

She came and picked me up the next day and yelled at me. I sat there not listening she was trying to be a good parent she said. Yeah, right. I went home and cut and cut and cut until I seriously was out of room. Oh, how good I felt. Well my friends found out and they are making me see the counsellor. Oh, how I want to cut some more. I can’t stop because the abuse won’t stop. I’m only thirteen and in 7th grade. Now I’m ruining my future career I was going to have. Everyone should take this advice though. Don’t cut yourselves or it’s hard to stop. Some days I just try to cut myself with dull objects because I think it will make me feel better. It really doesn’t guys, it makes you feel worse. Well, that’s all of my story and please stop.


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