Copyright, Hobbit

This is the beginning of a story I’m writing, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense now, but I have a lot planned out for it, I hope someone out there thinks this is neat, or at least disturbing, that would be good too.

Worthless. All that time spent on that girl, all for nothing. Such a complete waste of my fucking time. I have so little time. As long as I’m still alive it will be my goal to end her life before mine reaches the end of it’s road. I’m not writing anymore, I’m going to cut now. No question tonight.

2-15-03, 1:34 am

Adrian shut his notebook and violently threw it into a drawer in his desk. Thinking about what he wrote, he searched the drawer for a brown leather box. Inside the box were blades. Exact-o-Knife blades, serrated blades, pocket knives, and a box of sewing pins. Most of the Exact-o-Knife blades were in little clear containers, except for the dirtier ones, which had been discarded in the box with the other blades. Adrian’s eyes focused on one of the containers. He picked up the #13 size blades and took one out. In the air Adrian smelled the oil the blades are coated in to keep them from dulling or rusting. He wiped the oil off the blade onto his pant leg and set it down on the desk. The house suddenly became eerily quiet. Adrian decided this was a good time for a nice refreshing cut in the bathtub.

The bathroom was cold from the window being open all the time. The window still had blood going down the glass from where it was broken. Adrian never minded to fix the window, or even cover it. During the winter the wind would blow snow in, and when the weather warmed up the bathroom would flood.

Adrian started filling the bathtub with only hot water. He sat and gazed at the simple beauty of steam rising off hot water in freezing weather. Adrian slipped out of his clothing and stepped into the scalding hot bath. He slid under the water and soaked until he needed air. He felt cleansed of the previous nights failure… Almost. This was not something Adrian was used to. He normally got the person he was going for. To fail on such a seemingly easy task angered Adrian. He grabbed the blade he had brought in the bathroom with him and held it to his upper-left forearm. He slowly pushed the tip of the blade into his arm until he felt it puncture the skin. Slowly, he cut down his arm until he reached his elbow. Blood started filling in the wound before the blade had left the skin. Adrian watched as dark blood rolled down his arm until it gathered enough to drip into the bath water.

The most beautiful thing to Adrian, was the way blood reacted when it hit water, especially his own blood.

It looks so happy to escape… Flowing and ebbing in every direction, doesn’t matter where as long as it’s out of my body. So much could be learned by everyone if we all learned to read our blood as I have done. Or am I just insane?


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