So Sorry

Copyright Holly-Ann

Hey people out there I am Holly. I know you do not know me so why should anything I say matter, but I’m twenty, and I cut too and try to forget all the pain, and all the pictures I seen. Oh my god I’m so sorry, I wish I could help you as well as myself. Whatever you people are going through please email me I would love to hear it. My problem is my dad cheated on my mother so I have a trust issue. That is my problem. My insecurity. I admit it though, but I am still going through it, and I am hurting from it. Everything my boyfriend does I automatically think he is cheating, and it should not have to be that way, but because of what my dad did I am going to a psychotherapist to help me. I hope it helps I just was going to a therapist, but now a psychotherapist and the last time I was there it felt like it worked and that there was hope for me. I am going this Thursday, and I hope it is more help and relief then the first appointment. Another reason why I cut is I think I’m hideous, and I just hate everything about myself, my voice, looks, just a lot, but my personality, and hot figure is the only thing that keeps me going as well as my awesome boy friend Keith. He does not cheat on me. I trust him I just think he does when I am depressed, or low self-esteem, but you know he is the best thing that ever happened to me. My brother mentally and psychically abuses me, and it torments me everyday, but he is leaving soon so I hope I get better after that. My brother has punched me in the chest with his fist. Said I was stupid, and ugly, and never amount to anything but my father he has done it all! The sad thing is he is the one that is fat, almost bald so I shouldn’t be worried about anything for I have it so much better, and I’m grateful, and not conceded of all things. I just am thankful god put me here. He made my figure gorgeous, thank god. At 110 pounds even and a medium length hair with brown eyes, I am grateful for that it could have been worse. I just hate what my dad does, and how my brother talks to me, and treats me. I am afraid to come home. He fought with me once over a can of beans when I got hungry and said buy your own can of beans. That hurt me that my brother would give his girl friend food, but would fight with me over it. What a loser, but it is OK he is moving out soon, and I will not have to worry anymore. I hope that on only the holidays, which stink too, those days are suppose to be a blessing, but let us see how they go. I hope good. Well please email me if anything thank you, and have a blessed day, and may god be with you always. Blessings only in the future.


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