Death’s Own

Copyright, Vampirella

I would stay in my own corner and watch everyone laugh and smile. Sometimes I’d have the energy to pretend with them, sometimes not. I would sit off to the side, for fear that if I went too close they might think I’m normal. I’m thankful for the few of them that came to me, to help me along. I’m thankful for the few of them that understood. There was moment in my life when I was actually happy. I’d smile and laugh and I truly felt it. For those of you going through depression you know how amazing those happy moments are. They are really something you want to hold on to. Then I started researching religions because I didn’t know what I believed, I went and researched Satanism. I found out so much about that and I felt like that was the religion for me. I have now adapted myself ot be a Satanist and it has really helped me through that. And I tried to overdose once, didn’t work. I was too ignorant and I used all Tylenol. I also tried cutting, that never works. I looked at some of the pictures on this website and it’s obvious that some aren’t real. I can’t believe that some people have the nerve to mock something so serious and severe. This is no joke, people die constantly from suicide. But think about those people in Africa with AIDS or children without parents. It seems the people who have it the worst get through it the best. But, this is life and I won’t say that I’m really glad that I’m here like a lot of used-to-be-cutters say. No I’m not exactly glad I’m still here. But a lot of friends of mine are glad and they all told me how much they really did care. Now, think about this, your friends and family, say your idol had just died, what would you do? It would kill you wouldn’t it. Whether you know it or not there is always someone who looks up to you and respects you, be it a younger sibling or friend. There is always someone who can understand you and know what your going through. Always someone to get you to stay. Thank you Neil for being this person for me. I’m still here because that’s what they wanted. And I don’t want to hurt people who haven’t hurt me. They were only children, I, as a Satanist, cannot hurt children or anyone that has done me no wrong. You say ‘goodbye cruel world’, it’s not all cruel. Think of the tiny remnants of love and hope. Hope. Hope is all you need. You’re in a dark world, but Hope will give some light. Turn away from the cruel world, don’t give people the satisfaction. That’s why I stopped cutting, I don’t want to give them the satisfaction of causing something.


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