Copyright, Felicity

I’ve been SI’ing for about five years now.

When I first started I was hitting myself and punching myself, eventually it went to cutting. I’ve been cut free for about six months. I had stopped about two years ago and started up again six months later. Everyone was so happy that I wasn’t cutting myself anymore. When they started seeing cuts on my arms again they were very concerned. I didn’t want them to be disappointed in me so I would tell them my cat caused my cuts. I have a cat who bites and scratches very deep so my story was believable.

I felt so bad for lying to everyone, I didn’t want to hide my problem from the people who supported me and helped me cope with it for so long but I was so afraid of disappointing them. I know now that if they knew I lied to them and hid the fact I started cutting again they would be more disappointed than if I did tell them.

I am still SI. I hit and punch myself almost as much as I used to cut myself. My boyfriend who went through the cutting with me, whom also was a cutter doesn’t know I am still SI’ing. I’m so afriad to tell him. I don’t know how he’ll react.

There are a lot of things I haven’t told him or a lot of people, but it’s really hard to tell people when they don’t understand and no matter how many times you try to explain it they still think you are crazy.


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