Recovering Cutter

Recovering — A Painful Road

Copyright Recovering Cutter

When I turned thirteen, I was happy to be a teen. I was able to be something I wasn’t able to do. Till my last year of junior high. When that came I went all downhill from there. I became depressed, a loner, not even an ounce of excitement in me. I started to SI when I was thirteen. I just started to leave scratch marks on my skin. Then I started to cut to make my blood come out. But I never cut deep. No one really knew I did this. I kept it from my family and friends. I only told my friends online and one friend I met once I got to high school. I was able to tell her what I was going through, I was able to tell her about my SI, and just let myself out. Till December came around. That time my SI was getting worse. My upper arms were covered in scars from cutting. I started to cut on my leg. I was telling one of the sites about this. They said “you have to tell someone fast, and now.” I was in school one day thinking “should I tell my mom or not?” I was asking myself that over and over. I called a teen hotline. They gave me a little urge to tell my mom. I told them I sometimes write a letter. They said “OK, Jon write a letter to your mom and once you are done writing the letter call us back.” They said “if you don’t, we will call you back.” At that point I’m like OK there is no turning back. Instead of writing the letter I just told her face-to-face. It was the hardest thing of my life. My mom made me keep a promise that I will never do it again. All my friends who I told about my self harm were glad that I told my mom.

One year later I am still self harm free. It was a long and painful twelve months. Nowadays I help other teens online with this issue. I have helped about three or four teens so far. I kind of see myself being a motivation speaker. Like going to schools and other places. To give kids a message about this. But nowadays I just help them online.


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